#kayacinder - Hello Poetry

"right person wrong time" four words you said to me that lingered endlessly i wanted it to be true i wanted that person to be you i don't think time was wrong to be honest i'm starting to think that we just don't belong.

0

Feb 20

Feb 20, 2026 at 7:25 AM UTC

kayacinder

right person wrong time

"right person wrong time" four words you said to me that lingered endlessly i wanted it to be true i wanted that person to be you i don't think time was wrong to be honest i'm starting to think that we just don't belong.

9

i open the curtains behind my windowsill so you can glow in the sun— light spilling over your petals, straight into my eyes. they water, of course, but you look so radiant i forget to blink. i breathe you in, and everything burns. my eyes won’t stop itching, my chest feels heavy, my throat a slow flame— the weight of loving you. but i never move you. i let you bloom right beside me, because love, i think, is sometimes choosing the ache.

0

Jun 7, 2025

Jun 7, 2025 at 7:19 AM UTC

kayacinder

hayfever

i open the curtains behind my windowsill so you can glow in the sun— light spilling over your petals, straight into my eyes. they water, of course, but you look so radiant i forget to blink. i breathe you in, and everything burns. my eyes won’t stop itching, my chest feels heavy, my throat a slow flame— the weight of loving you. but i never move you. i let you bloom right beside me, because love, i think, is sometimes choosing the ache.

18

i light the end to quiet mine; i fade away, though close by. the world dissolves behind my eyes, as i forget how to cry.

0

May 31, 2025

May 31, 2025 at 11:38 AM UTC

kayacinder

gone

i light the end to quiet mine; i fade away, though close by. the world dissolves behind my eyes, as i forget how to cry.

4

i learn to lean in, play their game, because it’s easier than saying no and watching it get ignored. i touch like i mean it. flirt like it’s instinct. laugh when they call me trouble because at least this way i’m choosing my path instead of being forced down theirs. i learned early; if i take off my own clothes, no one else can undress me. if i say my own words first, they can’t change what i say. they call it confidence. i call it staying safe. a way to get by, learning to hold myself up after being broken down. i slip beneath their gaze in lipstick. in lace. playing the part they praise. i seem so in control, don’t i? like a girl who’s never been trapped. but really, i keep control because it protects me from being powerless once more.

0

May 31, 2025

May 31, 2025 at 10:45 AM UTC

kayacinder

entrapment: part 2

i learn to lean in, play their game, because it’s easier than saying no and watching it get ignored. i touch like i mean it. flirt like it’s instinct. laugh when they call me trouble because at least this way i’m choosing my path instead of being forced down theirs. i learned early; if i take off my own clothes, no one else can undress me. if i say my own words first, they can’t change what i say. they call it confidence. i call it staying safe. a way to get by, learning to hold myself up after being broken down. i slip beneath their gaze in lipstick. in lace. playing the part they praise. i seem so in control, don’t i? like a girl who’s never been trapped. but really, i keep control because it protects me from being powerless once more.

30

they say i should be flattered. that it’s nice, being told you’re everything. but i’ve felt hands behind compliments. heard the lock click after "you’re special." and felt my own words shrink to fit the dress he zipped me into. how quickly softness can sharpen into a trap. how a compliment can lead you down a hallway with no doors. and still, they say it with a smile. as if it’s not happening when it’s dressed in praise.

0

May 31, 2025

May 31, 2025 at 8:09 AM UTC

kayacinder

entrapment

they say i should be flattered. that it’s nice, being told you’re everything. but i’ve felt hands behind compliments. heard the lock click after "you’re special." and felt my own words shrink to fit the dress he zipped me into. how quickly softness can sharpen into a trap. how a compliment can lead you down a hallway with no doors. and still, they say it with a smile. as if it’s not happening when it’s dressed in praise.

17

they picked the brightest flower; not the one wilted, bent at the stem, dull from too little sun. i never expected it to be me— but god, i wanted it to be.

0

May 30, 2025

May 30, 2025 at 4:33 PM UTC

kayacinder

wilt

they picked the brightest flower; not the one wilted, bent at the stem, dull from too little sun. i never expected it to be me— but god, i wanted it to be.

8

like glass glued back together, i’m holding my pieces tight; scared the cracks will open, and spill out all the light.

0

May 30, 2025

May 30, 2025 at 4:08 PM UTC

kayacinder

glass

like glass glued back together, i’m holding my pieces tight; scared the cracks will open, and spill out all the light.

4

you’d cook with sleeves rolled up, correct my chopping gently. i’d burn the onions, laugh it off, watch you fix it quietly. we’d walk in step; you knowing the way, me pretending i do too. you’d point out birds, teach me their names, and i’d forget them just to hear you say them again. at night, we’d watch old films. i’d talk through the quiet, you’d pause, patient, like you always are. sometimes i still miss our quiet love, even though it lived only in my head.

0

May 28, 2025

May 28, 2025 at 5:16 PM UTC

kayacinder

quiet love

you’d cook with sleeves rolled up, correct my chopping gently. i’d burn the onions, laugh it off, watch you fix it quietly. we’d walk in step; you knowing the way, me pretending i do too. you’d point out birds, teach me their names, and i’d forget them just to hear you say them again. at night, we’d watch old films. i’d talk through the quiet, you’d pause, patient, like you always are. sometimes i still miss our quiet love, even though it lived only in my head.

21

light dims, slowly folding into shadow as peace slips quietly away, while i’m distracted by the shadows i shouldn’t follow.

0

May 27, 2025

May 27, 2025 at 5:51 PM UTC

kayacinder

flicker

light dims, slowly folding into shadow as peace slips quietly away, while i’m distracted by the shadows i shouldn’t follow.

6

the streetlights guide me; bright, clear, showing the way home. but i only look up. always, for stars that won’t come down.

0

May 27, 2025

May 27, 2025 at 5:20 PM UTC

kayacinder

light

the streetlights guide me; bright, clear, showing the way home. but i only look up. always, for stars that won’t come down.

9

i watch the faithful kneel, their eyes soft with trust, like they’ve found the answer to everything. i search for that peace. a cross resting close to their chest, as if God lives right there, in the space beneath their ribs. i wonder; could i hold a god in my heart the way they do? — strong, unshaken, a savior, to hold me, when i forget how to stand. i wonder if the light they pray to could ever find its way through the darkness of my sinful heart. maybe one day.

0

May 25, 2025

May 25, 2025 at 4:55 AM UTC

kayacinder

savior

i watch the faithful kneel, their eyes soft with trust, like they’ve found the answer to everything. i search for that peace. a cross resting close to their chest, as if God lives right there, in the space beneath their ribs. i wonder; could i hold a god in my heart the way they do? — strong, unshaken, a savior, to hold me, when i forget how to stand. i wonder if the light they pray to could ever find its way through the darkness of my sinful heart. maybe one day.

23

the storm came, it always does. but you— you were the anchor. you kept me from sinking, from pulling into the depths of my own turmoil. sometimes, i float in the noise of everything, but i always come back to you. your stillness pulls me in, like the tide always pulls the shore. i had never known how integral silence could be until you made it feel safe. how steady peace could be, how the weight of your presence, tethers me to the surface, keeping me from floating away and losing myself in the storm

0

May 25, 2025

May 25, 2025 at 4:03 AM UTC

kayacinder

my anchor

the storm came, it always does. but you— you were the anchor. you kept me from sinking, from pulling into the depths of my own turmoil. sometimes, i float in the noise of everything, but i always come back to you. your stillness pulls me in, like the tide always pulls the shore. i had never known how integral silence could be until you made it feel safe. how steady peace could be, how the weight of your presence, tethers me to the surface, keeping me from floating away and losing myself in the storm

23

rooted in ash, with wildfire quietly burning beneath soft petals a rose set alight, with leaves that never begged for rain a quiet kind of burning that never asked to be put out some passersby picked the flower, held her, tried to care some passersby picked her only to give her away but many walked right over her as if she were just an empty flowerbed as if she weren’t a pretty flower as if they didn’t see the thorns or know that petals bruise when held too hard as if softness was made to be claimed not protected still, she learned how to bloom she stood upright in cracked earth with broken stems and blistered leaves with fire in her roots with ashes in her veins reaching always for the light she knew some blooms open only in harsh sun some roots push through broken ground just to feel it there were nights she curled inward like a rose in frost still, she rose. because some flowers still bloom in places no one believed anything could grow and now she is blooming not despite the wildfire but because of it

0

May 6, 2025

May 6, 2025 at 1:37 PM UTC

kayacinder

wildflower, still

rooted in ash, with wildfire quietly burning beneath soft petals a rose set alight, with leaves that never begged for rain a quiet kind of burning that never asked to be put out some passersby picked the flower, held her, tried to care some passersby picked her only to give her away but many walked right over her as if she were just an empty flowerbed as if she weren’t a pretty flower as if they didn’t see the thorns or know that petals bruise when held too hard as if softness was made to be claimed not protected still, she learned how to bloom she stood upright in cracked earth with broken stems and blistered leaves with fire in her roots with ashes in her veins reaching always for the light she knew some blooms open only in harsh sun some roots push through broken ground just to feel it there were nights she curled inward like a rose in frost still, she rose. because some flowers still bloom in places no one believed anything could grow and now she is blooming not despite the wildfire but because of it

65

i don’t have a bruise not now but my skin remembers because once, it rooted itself there dark and sudden from nothing at all or maybe something small that shouldn’t have hurt but did and since then i’ve learned not all pain leaves a mark but it lingers just the same now i know that pain doesn’t always ask permission and not all wounds warn you first but now i freeze before hands even reach before words even fall like muscle memory but for fear and now i tense when i shouldn’t i flinch before anything happens i wait for the hit even when no one’s swinging because once, he came without warning and now my body remembers even when my mind tries to forget because once was enough. no harm just shadows and the ache of almost because healing was never watching the bruise fade it was learning that the skin can clear and still wince at nothing still twitch at the memory of blue still ache where there is no mark just learning how to live with the fear of it all returning i flinch at nothing because once there was something and it stayed i hold still for what might not come i tense for what might not come because it once did and that was enough.

0

May 6, 2025

May 6, 2025 at 1:41 PM UTC

kayacinder

blue memoir

i don’t have a bruise not now but my skin remembers because once, it rooted itself there dark and sudden from nothing at all or maybe something small that shouldn’t have hurt but did and since then i’ve learned not all pain leaves a mark but it lingers just the same now i know that pain doesn’t always ask permission and not all wounds warn you first but now i freeze before hands even reach before words even fall like muscle memory but for fear and now i tense when i shouldn’t i flinch before anything happens i wait for the hit even when no one’s swinging because once, he came without warning and now my body remembers even when my mind tries to forget because once was enough. no harm just shadows and the ache of almost because healing was never watching the bruise fade it was learning that the skin can clear and still wince at nothing still twitch at the memory of blue still ache where there is no mark just learning how to live with the fear of it all returning i flinch at nothing because once there was something and it stayed i hold still for what might not come i tense for what might not come because it once did and that was enough.

76

i used to call it comfort the way i reached for a green that didn’t grow anything just softened the edges and blurred the ache until fullness felt empty until the chaos drowned itself in silence until even the storm learnt to whisper until emptiness felt full i didn’t call it escape not then just quiet just something to get through the day but even quiet can rot the roots i stayed in that winter longer than i needed to numbed the ache until i forgot what it was like to feel anything grow but now green means something else it means rebirth, life pushing through thin cracks in dry ground it means i don’t run when the light comes in that i can sit still without reaching for a way out that something in me is waking up and wants to stay

0

May 6, 2025

May 6, 2025 at 1:43 PM UTC

kayacinder

green

i used to call it comfort the way i reached for a green that didn’t grow anything just softened the edges and blurred the ache until fullness felt empty until the chaos drowned itself in silence until even the storm learnt to whisper until emptiness felt full i didn’t call it escape not then just quiet just something to get through the day but even quiet can rot the roots i stayed in that winter longer than i needed to numbed the ache until i forgot what it was like to feel anything grow but now green means something else it means rebirth, life pushing through thin cracks in dry ground it means i don’t run when the light comes in that i can sit still without reaching for a way out that something in me is waking up and wants to stay

42

i never told you how soft you felt in a world that never let me rest. how your voice felt like a doorway back to myself. i wanted to say it a thousand times in a thousand ways but each one felt too loud for something this quiet. because i don’t want to lose what we are by reaching too hard for what we could be. being near you even like this feels steadier than the best of what i’ve known. once, you looked at me like the softness was something you’d always known was there, hidden in the static. and when you told me you believed in the kindness beneath my mess, your words stayed longer than you’ll ever know. maybe one day i’ll find the stillness to say aloud what has only lived in quiet; that something in me settled every time you stayed. not love, not yet just the way your presence makes me softer without asking me to be. just the way your presence makes the world less loud and me less afraid.

0

May 6, 2025

May 6, 2025 at 1:45 PM UTC

kayacinder

my stillness

i never told you how soft you felt in a world that never let me rest. how your voice felt like a doorway back to myself. i wanted to say it a thousand times in a thousand ways but each one felt too loud for something this quiet. because i don’t want to lose what we are by reaching too hard for what we could be. being near you even like this feels steadier than the best of what i’ve known. once, you looked at me like the softness was something you’d always known was there, hidden in the static. and when you told me you believed in the kindness beneath my mess, your words stayed longer than you’ll ever know. maybe one day i’ll find the stillness to say aloud what has only lived in quiet; that something in me settled every time you stayed. not love, not yet just the way your presence makes me softer without asking me to be. just the way your presence makes the world less loud and me less afraid.

50

i started solving equations because they didn’t ask questions. no why, no how come, just: isolate x. balance both sides. make it neat. in algebra, there’s always a method. expand the brackets, simplify the mess. rearrange until it makes sense. simultaneous questions felt easier than real ones; two unknowns, but at least they listened. at least they resolved if you followed the rules. quadratics fall apart and still come back to a single solution. i envied that. and if i got the answer wrong, at least i could circle it, mark where it went wrong, and fix it. it wouldn’t be perfect but at least i could correct my errors. in maths, there’s always a way back. but in life, the mistakes don’t show up clean. there’s no neat solution, no second chance to fix what’s broken. so for now, i’ll solve problems that i can actually solve, and fix the things i can control.

0

May 7, 2025

May 7, 2025 at 3:21 PM UTC

kayacinder

control

i started solving equations because they didn’t ask questions. no why, no how come, just: isolate x. balance both sides. make it neat. in algebra, there’s always a method. expand the brackets, simplify the mess. rearrange until it makes sense. simultaneous questions felt easier than real ones; two unknowns, but at least they listened. at least they resolved if you followed the rules. quadratics fall apart and still come back to a single solution. i envied that. and if i got the answer wrong, at least i could circle it, mark where it went wrong, and fix it. it wouldn’t be perfect but at least i could correct my errors. in maths, there’s always a way back. but in life, the mistakes don’t show up clean. there’s no neat solution, no second chance to fix what’s broken. so for now, i’ll solve problems that i can actually solve, and fix the things i can control.

41

i don’t want what comes easy. if it’s handed to me, i let it go. love without a fight feels flat, like a song without a beat. i want the kind of intimacy you have to bleed for, the kind you can’t reach until you’ve torn off every soft part of yourself to prove you deserve it. i want to chase it down. run hard until my heart pounds just to feel it glance back at me, even once. i don’t care who else offers sweetness. i want the silence to speak. i want the stillness to flinch. maybe it’s not love. maybe it’s just wanting to be seen by someone who never really looks. wanting to matter to the one person who never needed me. is that love? or am i just throwing myself at locked doors hoping one might open if i hurt myself enough knocking. maybe i just want to be worth the reaching. maybe i want someone who doesn’t need me to choose me anyway.

0

May 24, 2025

May 24, 2025 at 3:25 AM UTC

kayacinder

almost, unattainable

i don’t want what comes easy. if it’s handed to me, i let it go. love without a fight feels flat, like a song without a beat. i want the kind of intimacy you have to bleed for, the kind you can’t reach until you’ve torn off every soft part of yourself to prove you deserve it. i want to chase it down. run hard until my heart pounds just to feel it glance back at me, even once. i don’t care who else offers sweetness. i want the silence to speak. i want the stillness to flinch. maybe it’s not love. maybe it’s just wanting to be seen by someone who never really looks. wanting to matter to the one person who never needed me. is that love? or am i just throwing myself at locked doors hoping one might open if i hurt myself enough knocking. maybe i just want to be worth the reaching. maybe i want someone who doesn’t need me to choose me anyway.

33

i don’t want what’s handed to me. i want what runs. what looks at me then looks away. what i have to earn. because wanting hurts less than being handed something that never mattered. attention means more when i have to work for it. affection feels real when it’s rare. i don’t want easy. i want to chase. i want to ache. i want to reach and never quite touch. because longing is safer than pretending to be satisfied. it’s easier to keep chasing when you know the prize isn’t promised; and you have to work to even get close. because chasing something real feels better than catching something hollow.

0

May 24, 2025

May 24, 2025 at 4:25 AM UTC

kayacinder

close enough

i don’t want what’s handed to me. i want what runs. what looks at me then looks away. what i have to earn. because wanting hurts less than being handed something that never mattered. attention means more when i have to work for it. affection feels real when it’s rare. i don’t want easy. i want to chase. i want to ache. i want to reach and never quite touch. because longing is safer than pretending to be satisfied. it’s easier to keep chasing when you know the prize isn’t promised; and you have to work to even get close. because chasing something real feels better than catching something hollow.

26

the moment i’m asked i say yes because i can, not because i want to; but because i have a choice, and at least this way i get to choose what happens, rather than be put in a position where i don’t.

0

May 24, 2025

May 24, 2025 at 12:08 PM UTC

kayacinder

choice

the moment i’m asked i say yes because i can, not because i want to; but because i have a choice, and at least this way i get to choose what happens, rather than be put in a position where i don’t.

14

you’re the calm in my chaos, the steady in my storm. words from you feel earned you don’t flood me with noise but when you speak each word carries weight given carefully, never lightly.

0

May 24, 2025

May 24, 2025 at 12:31 PM UTC

kayacinder

quiet weight

you’re the calm in my chaos, the steady in my storm. words from you feel earned you don’t flood me with noise but when you speak each word carries weight given carefully, never lightly.

9

you leaned over your sleeve brushing mine. the lanyard hung from your neck, your shirt a little too neat. mine untucked; a little too messy. red ink trailing from your pen to my paper, marking it carefully. it shifted so i pressed my hand down, close to yours, close enough. you kept writing. i kept still. we said nothing. but the silence felt full, closer than touch.

0

May 24, 2025

May 24, 2025 at 3:20 PM UTC

kayacinder

silence

you leaned over your sleeve brushing mine. the lanyard hung from your neck, your shirt a little too neat. mine untucked; a little too messy. red ink trailing from your pen to my paper, marking it carefully. it shifted so i pressed my hand down, close to yours, close enough. you kept writing. i kept still. we said nothing. but the silence felt full, closer than touch.

21

she's here, in the photograph on my desk, but not here at all. she's there with me frozen in a moment before it all slipped away. i trail my fingers over the glass, and wonder if it was ever real. the way we were, before the knife went in. before she twisted it and let me bleed out instead of offering a hand. i can’t shake the feeling that she’s still here, though she never will be again.

0

May 25, 2025

May 25, 2025 at 2:42 AM UTC

kayacinder

photograph

she's here, in the photograph on my desk, but not here at all. she's there with me frozen in a moment before it all slipped away. i trail my fingers over the glass, and wonder if it was ever real. the way we were, before the knife went in. before she twisted it and let me bleed out instead of offering a hand. i can’t shake the feeling that she’s still here, though she never will be again.

19