Cant bear to hear the voices;
dragging me down;
feeling the failure!
Voices mock me make me frown
nothing ever goes right:
want to keep on
with the fight,
be strong
move on
with my life
there is something
that stops me when I
find happiness negativity
cuts me like a fine knife
anxiety makes me feel on edge;
paranoia makes me question
and sabotage everything
depression lowers me
to the point where I
feel lack of energy
or empathy any more
If anything I want to sleep in bed not feel this dread
I use to medicate
myself with beer
and pain relief
taking any medicines
I can get to feel no pain
To feel no shame
for the anxiety
to go away
but it never went
only made me forget
the symptoms
the mania I get feel a hint of euphoria
but later irritated
over ****** and frustrated,
the world is moving too slow
Im obsessed and sometimes
delusional: the demons are smiling
they've won the battle but not the war when they took over my mind; for a short while but since sophie was born
and my life almost thrown away
at the age 28 I decided to give life another go and work hard to live an cleaner life the best I can smile more even when I'm low be grateful
I'm still alive and here
want to feel I have a bright future
now with a baby and boyfriend
that loves and understands me
its hard sometimes
when you can feel the bad memories resurface,
negative vibes in my mind
hit me like a bullet or cut me like a knife
want to keep telling them not today
that I will not fall to their darkness and decay
that they can't beat me and that
I'm no longer a failure
but a fighter still here to tell her tale;
despite all the ********
and people grinding me down
over the years;
bringing me to tears
I tell myself each day that
I'm a fighter and I'm still here.
Mar 24, 2019
Mar 24, 2019 at 2:23 AM UTC
Cant bear to hear the voices;
dragging me down;
feeling the failure!
Voices mock me make me frown
nothing ever goes right:
want to keep on
with the fight,
be strong
move on
with my life
there is something
that stops me when I
find happiness negativity
cuts me like a fine knife
anxiety makes me feel on edge;
paranoia makes me question
and sabotage everything
depression lowers me
to the point where I
feel lack of energy
or empathy any more
If anything I want to sleep in bed not feel this dread
I use to medicate
myself with beer
and pain relief
taking any medicines
I can get to feel no pain
To feel no shame
for the anxiety
to go away
but it never went
only made me forget
the symptoms
the mania I get feel a hint of euphoria
but later irritated
over ****** and frustrated,
the world is moving too slow
Im obsessed and sometimes
delusional: the demons are smiling
they've won the battle but not the war when they took over my mind; for a short while but since sophie was born
and my life almost thrown away
at the age 28 I decided to give life another go and work hard to live an cleaner life the best I can smile more even when I'm low be grateful
I'm still alive and here
want to feel I have a bright future
now with a baby and boyfriend
that loves and understands me
its hard sometimes
when you can feel the bad memories resurface,
negative vibes in my mind
hit me like a bullet or cut me like a knife
want to keep telling them not today
that I will not fall to their darkness and decay
that they can't beat me and that
I'm no longer a failure
but a fighter still here to tell her tale;
despite all the ********
and people grinding me down
over the years;
bringing me to tears
I tell myself each day that
I'm a fighter and I'm still here.
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