my "spirit animal" feels like a turtle.... expected to go through leaps and bounds, and jump through hurdles; a shield i carry with me, though no sword-nor do i want one....
I've made it this far, because of the close people in my life.... homebody never looking forward to continuing to step outside and engage within this thing called "society"....
thinking about how much of a loop this is.... thinking about how much the juice is liken to retrieving through a desert cactus;
and speaking of desert.... this feels to me more than ever like the movie "they live" or a "video game"(that i want to shut off)you know?-like that whole "player one" syndrome where it's too difficult or not meant for me to "win"-like "winning" is a grand illusion; i've been running on empty....
and now it's like i'm just drifting the rest of the way.... still forcing myself at minimum capacity to participate.... but at my core i no longer want to "play".... i forever want to "escape"....
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 7:42 AM UTC
my "spirit animal" feels like a turtle.... expected to go through leaps and bounds, and jump through hurdles; a shield i carry with me, though no sword-nor do i want one....
I've made it this far, because of the close people in my life.... homebody never looking forward to continuing to step outside and engage within this thing called "society"....
thinking about how much of a loop this is.... thinking about how much the juice is liken to retrieving through a desert cactus;
and speaking of desert.... this feels to me more than ever like the movie "they live" or a "video game"(that i want to shut off)you know?-like that whole "player one" syndrome where it's too difficult or not meant for me to "win"-like "winning" is a grand illusion; i've been running on empty....
and now it's like i'm just drifting the rest of the way.... still forcing myself at minimum capacity to participate.... but at my core i no longer want to "play".... i forever want to "escape"....
