Sometimes I still feel sick
Like I'm right back where I was
Where I cried myself to steep
Constant urges
That one thought that turned to many
The visions of past times
That vision of me still here
Buried deep so I forget
The thing is you don’t forget
It will forever be a part of me
The old immediate coping skill
Hurt or die
It will make you feel better
The pain stops I said
Those thoughts were never true
The brain hitting panic mode
Sad thing is it worked
Only for a moment though
After you were scared
Felt the regret, guilt and anger
Now you know better
Though it still comes back
That urge for control
Something you can fix
They say it’s not worth it
We all know
But the pain felt good
They didn’t see
But I know today
This isn’t me
May 11, 2025
May 11, 2025 at 10:26 PM UTC
Sometimes I still feel sick
Like I'm right back where I was
Where I cried myself to steep
Constant urges
That one thought that turned to many
The visions of past times
That vision of me still here
Buried deep so I forget
The thing is you don’t forget
It will forever be a part of me
The old immediate coping skill
Hurt or die
It will make you feel better
The pain stops I said
Those thoughts were never true
The brain hitting panic mode
Sad thing is it worked
Only for a moment though
After you were scared
Felt the regret, guilt and anger
Now you know better
Though it still comes back
That urge for control
Something you can fix
They say it’s not worth it
We all know
But the pain felt good
They didn’t see
But I know today
This isn’t me