The watchman
What dark thoughts hold my gaze
That others feel joy without remorse
Long have I looked for loves embrace
To be free from such recourse
I was cursed at my birth - this skin is not my own
My spirit’s nerves are twisted
Justifying a condemned worth, from seeds poorly sown
And darkened hearts passion resisted
This is all I call my own
There is no mark for ship to sail
In this sea of ever dark clear waters
At night we keep awake, in hopes dark won't fail
to keep safe another, from senseless marauder
Held out to sink in stormy gale
Beyond all measure, there is recourse to collision
Nature for her worth, ameliorate provide
This in time, impossible seems revision
Can only push broken hearts aside
Long ago, I suspected improvement
But that mind was young and poorly tested
Such low directions seem better amusement
And bitter the blow, when I reality bested
Mistaken long ago; the fix be simple
Said so by those in words authority rare
Had me ready to try, eager and nimble
On this whim I bent, rejected the tear
A nobler man than me I resembled
For a time it seemed well, for a time it seemed right
Resilient in motion, and strong in day’s revel
But the illness it crept and shifted so slight
in its smooth spotless way, gashed by a devil
day was subdued by night
This; then I wish I had known, or told,
Other minds afflicted - but pity spared
Pathology spoken, and hands took hold
Dantalion awoken, engaged and declared
No pity for Dantalion’s stare
A baron of hell come forward to resist
No rest from his call, no shadows to hide
God made amends, in hope I subsisted
footsteps corrupted in unholy stride
Voices echoed hissed, and fallen beside
.
.
.
A higher purpose in this may gleam
For rules are unbroken, unbent
Such a hope without rend, is only a dream
In bleak barren isles, sows seeds of resent
Seen fleeting in wistful steam
I abided by your laws by force of will
No pride could be worth such change
Imposing rigid and shrill,
And gratifying others in sour blame
In darkness bring, now I live,
But smile in the sun
Play of dauntless, hardening
Embracing in me self-shun
To break free, and proclaim this face
No desire within is greater
To be shown to anyone for its sake
that my face to even a friend could
Be known
.
.
.
I wanted to feel then; when eyes met,
you smiled brightly at me
A Moment of joy in that grin,
But longer pain, for a moment of glee
How it turned out this way
Why joy feels so empty in passions free
Hearts echo in its screams, can not tell
Demanding lash out, for to feel anything
Enforced in miscounted play
My body is mute, deaf and pale
But all senses remain intact
Robbed at birth by a devilish wail
And my soul screams out from
a body cracked
.
.
.
Like a hero, purpose impassioned bore the slack
And long sustained a body starved
But much was stolen and wanted back
In tired time, resent in noble soul
Was carved
Here myself I find in fact
My fruition other’s pain would cause
But pain in self with great impact
Hides in bright day to save another's pause
Greatest Hurt dealt from time ago
And still I seek for moments rest
The cliffs on which destroyed the boat
That the remainder of my life is jest
to faces that will never know
In youth, the gait of joy had life and warm would flow
Entreating pleasant waters shore
Now years of weight since long ago
Moments once glad; warm no more
The Truer pain is yet to pass
For the years I’ve yet to live
Broken sadness, set to wrath
At my own soul bound
indeterminative
No smile was flashed without longing
For a person I can never touch
And no man can charge in wronging;
I am the perfection of a needless crutch
Nov 16, 2025
Nov 16, 2025 at 12:00 PM UTC
The watchman
What dark thoughts hold my gaze
That others feel joy without remorse
Long have I looked for loves embrace
To be free from such recourse
I was cursed at my birth - this skin is not my own
My spirit’s nerves are twisted
Justifying a condemned worth, from seeds poorly sown
And darkened hearts passion resisted
This is all I call my own
There is no mark for ship to sail
In this sea of ever dark clear waters
At night we keep awake, in hopes dark won't fail
to keep safe another, from senseless marauder
Held out to sink in stormy gale
Beyond all measure, there is recourse to collision
Nature for her worth, ameliorate provide
This in time, impossible seems revision
Can only push broken hearts aside
Long ago, I suspected improvement
But that mind was young and poorly tested
Such low directions seem better amusement
And bitter the blow, when I reality bested
Mistaken long ago; the fix be simple
Said so by those in words authority rare
Had me ready to try, eager and nimble
On this whim I bent, rejected the tear
A nobler man than me I resembled
For a time it seemed well, for a time it seemed right
Resilient in motion, and strong in day’s revel
But the illness it crept and shifted so slight
in its smooth spotless way, gashed by a devil
day was subdued by night
This; then I wish I had known, or told,
Other minds afflicted - but pity spared
Pathology spoken, and hands took hold
Dantalion awoken, engaged and declared
No pity for Dantalion’s stare
A baron of hell come forward to resist
No rest from his call, no shadows to hide
God made amends, in hope I subsisted
footsteps corrupted in unholy stride
Voices echoed hissed, and fallen beside
.
.
.
A higher purpose in this may gleam
For rules are unbroken, unbent
Such a hope without rend, is only a dream
In bleak barren isles, sows seeds of resent
Seen fleeting in wistful steam
I abided by your laws by force of will
No pride could be worth such change
Imposing rigid and shrill,
And gratifying others in sour blame
In darkness bring, now I live,
But smile in the sun
Play of dauntless, hardening
Embracing in me self-shun
To break free, and proclaim this face
No desire within is greater
To be shown to anyone for its sake
that my face to even a friend could
Be known
.
.
.
I wanted to feel then; when eyes met,
you smiled brightly at me
A Moment of joy in that grin,
But longer pain, for a moment of glee
How it turned out this way
Why joy feels so empty in passions free
Hearts echo in its screams, can not tell
Demanding lash out, for to feel anything
Enforced in miscounted play
My body is mute, deaf and pale
But all senses remain intact
Robbed at birth by a devilish wail
And my soul screams out from
a body cracked
.
.
.
Like a hero, purpose impassioned bore the slack
And long sustained a body starved
But much was stolen and wanted back
In tired time, resent in noble soul
Was carved
Here myself I find in fact
My fruition other’s pain would cause
But pain in self with great impact
Hides in bright day to save another's pause
Greatest Hurt dealt from time ago
And still I seek for moments rest
The cliffs on which destroyed the boat
That the remainder of my life is jest
to faces that will never know
In youth, the gait of joy had life and warm would flow
Entreating pleasant waters shore
Now years of weight since long ago
Moments once glad; warm no more
The Truer pain is yet to pass
For the years I’ve yet to live
Broken sadness, set to wrath
At my own soul bound
indeterminative
No smile was flashed without longing
For a person I can never touch
And no man can charge in wronging;
I am the perfection of a needless crutch
When the body cannot make sense of trauma
It sets on reality outside us to pay the price.
And we must keep watch, even from ourselves
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