I really need to be doing things right now.
I have an application and two scholarships that NEED to get done.
But I simply CANNOT think straight.
My last poem, written 24 hours prior to this one, is driving me insane.
During the day, I know that all these poems are nothing more than my own mind rambling about nonsense.
"I realize that I was being dramatic, and all of those feelings are now dead."
I find myself editing my poems, because I can't let people believe that I actually believed my words at some point in time.
But as the dark of night sets in, I am alone.
I don't have others' thoughts to cloud my judgments.
All my thoughts creep back to my naive curiosity.
Naive, but not dangerous.
In regards to "Can I Glue my Eyes Forward?",
I just want to KNOW him.
Talk, laugh, play, hang out.
Am I romantically interested but masking it with curiosity?
Or I am just so interested in people in general that when I take extra interest in someone, I misinterpret my own feelings as a crush and do my own version of "damage control"?
Either way, this roller coaster is driving me crazy.
I can't stand this battle between putting validity to my feelings and discounting them all together.
I can't even send a message saying "hello" without feeling like I'm doing something wrong...
Jan 5, 2014
Jan 5, 2014 at 4:13 AM UTC
I really need to be doing things right now.
I have an application and two scholarships that NEED to get done.
But I simply CANNOT think straight.
My last poem, written 24 hours prior to this one, is driving me insane.
During the day, I know that all these poems are nothing more than my own mind rambling about nonsense.
"I realize that I was being dramatic, and all of those feelings are now dead."
I find myself editing my poems, because I can't let people believe that I actually believed my words at some point in time.
But as the dark of night sets in, I am alone.
I don't have others' thoughts to cloud my judgments.
All my thoughts creep back to my naive curiosity.
Naive, but not dangerous.
In regards to "Can I Glue my Eyes Forward?",
I just want to KNOW him.
Talk, laugh, play, hang out.
Am I romantically interested but masking it with curiosity?
Or I am just so interested in people in general that when I take extra interest in someone, I misinterpret my own feelings as a crush and do my own version of "damage control"?
Either way, this roller coaster is driving me crazy.
I can't stand this battle between putting validity to my feelings and discounting them all together.
I can't even send a message saying "hello" without feeling like I'm doing something wrong...
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