Research shows that children and teens have the possibility to conquer their OCD tendencies
But here I am, age 16, and I still haven’t broken free.
My therapist argued that it was possible that I didn’t even have OCD at all, just small habits that fall under the OCD stereotype–
Yet here I am
Pencil in hand, ready to write
But not until I find the perfect line, perfect rhyme.
Now here I am wondering if this is even the right time to share about my so-called “habits”
Because “it’s all my call” but if I don’t tap the wall 30 times I won’t sleep well at all.
Or you can choose not to, but turn down the fan or your family won’t get a good number in the immigration queue.
But don’t forget to walk down the stairs with your left foot first, and on the larger step make sure it’s left then right, because we’ve been doing this for four years now, Karis.
But at school it’s right, then left, so you’ll end with the right foot on the ground, which is your left.
All these “habits” with the hope that I’ll someday cut the rope which binds me to the demons who control my “habits.”
Someday I will make them bow but that time is not now
Because I’ve lost the rhythm and rhyme that I started with
Every morning I pray to God to free me from this cycle and yet–
I’ve been through trial and flame and the only person left to blame is myself.
And the pills in my kitchen drawer that add to the bills as my parents refill my pill dispenser.
Yet I take them
Over and over and over.
Research shows that children and teens have the possibility to conquer their OCD tendencies
But here I am, age 16, and I still haven’t broken free
Down my family’s stairs
Left, right, left, right
Down the school’s stairs
Right, left, right, left.
The idea of breaking free from my “habits” once gave me hope
But these tendencies have become the best way to cope
Research shows that children and teens have the possibility to conquer their OCD tendencies
But who am I if these tendencies are not a part of me?
Apr 25
Apr 25, 2026 at 5:52 AM UTC
Research shows that children and teens have the possibility to conquer their OCD tendencies
But here I am, age 16, and I still haven’t broken free.
My therapist argued that it was possible that I didn’t even have OCD at all, just small habits that fall under the OCD stereotype–
Yet here I am
Pencil in hand, ready to write
But not until I find the perfect line, perfect rhyme.
Now here I am wondering if this is even the right time to share about my so-called “habits”
Because “it’s all my call” but if I don’t tap the wall 30 times I won’t sleep well at all.
Or you can choose not to, but turn down the fan or your family won’t get a good number in the immigration queue.
But don’t forget to walk down the stairs with your left foot first, and on the larger step make sure it’s left then right, because we’ve been doing this for four years now, Karis.
But at school it’s right, then left, so you’ll end with the right foot on the ground, which is your left.
All these “habits” with the hope that I’ll someday cut the rope which binds me to the demons who control my “habits.”
Someday I will make them bow but that time is not now
Because I’ve lost the rhythm and rhyme that I started with
Every morning I pray to God to free me from this cycle and yet–
I’ve been through trial and flame and the only person left to blame is myself.
And the pills in my kitchen drawer that add to the bills as my parents refill my pill dispenser.
Yet I take them
Over and over and over.
Research shows that children and teens have the possibility to conquer their OCD tendencies
But here I am, age 16, and I still haven’t broken free
Down my family’s stairs
Left, right, left, right
Down the school’s stairs
Right, left, right, left.
The idea of breaking free from my “habits” once gave me hope
But these tendencies have become the best way to cope
Research shows that children and teens have the possibility to conquer their OCD tendencies
But who am I if these tendencies are not a part of me?
April 23, 10:24.54 pm
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