I open my eyes,
with the hope to live a better day.
A few breaths in,
and I remember the last night-
night, or the worst fear.
When you are tired, struggling to sleep,
when you know you have so much to say,
but still hit the bed, reassuring yourself:
there will come a day.
When the thoughts take over,
when the blanket absorbs your tears,
when your whole life lies ahead of you,
but all you see is darkness.
The cruel darkness- the one that made me cry,
to the extent that breathing felt like a task.
The night that made fear my home,
the night that made anger my excuse to sleep.
The night when I experienced my first panic attack,
not knowing what it was.
Fear calmed the rage of my anger.
The night when I woke up, started crying.
The night when my anger made me sleep
and my fear whispered, we will get through this.
And yet, every morning,
the thought of the night
makes me grateful it ended.
Feb 12
Feb 12, 2026 at 12:11 PM UTC
I open my eyes,
with the hope to live a better day.
A few breaths in,
and I remember the last night-
night, or the worst fear.
When you are tired, struggling to sleep,
when you know you have so much to say,
but still hit the bed, reassuring yourself:
there will come a day.
When the thoughts take over,
when the blanket absorbs your tears,
when your whole life lies ahead of you,
but all you see is darkness.
The cruel darkness- the one that made me cry,
to the extent that breathing felt like a task.
The night that made fear my home,
the night that made anger my excuse to sleep.
The night when I experienced my first panic attack,
not knowing what it was.
Fear calmed the rage of my anger.
The night when I woke up, started crying.
The night when my anger made me sleep
and my fear whispered, we will get through this.
And yet, every morning,
the thought of the night
makes me grateful it ended.
A night where fear, anger, and darkness felt louder than thoughts and a morning that felt like survival.
