I miss you, but I don’t miss the mornings in bed when you got up and I had to remind you that I needed to take my thyroid meds.
That I had to wait about half an hour for breakfast and that I wanted to start slow.
Take it easy.
You always looked at me like I was crazy.
You didn’t listen.
I miss you, but I don’t miss how you crossed my boundaries.
Over and over again, and I had to explain everything so many times.
You never tried to see it from my side.
It just wouldn’t land.
You didn’t want any trouble.
Only the good parts.
And you took it.
The good stuff.
You also gave me a lot.
But I can do without it.
I wanted you and I wanted you to understand.
And in some ways you did, but that was just when it was natural.
When it came from your world.
Only when you chose to be in my world, you would be in it.
Only at your time.
My speed was not valued.
You didn’t like mine.
You didn’t like it when it was difficult.
Or you made it worse.
So much worse.
You tore up everything that was still right.
You told me to leave when I had just arrived after traveling.
You didn’t like my routines and you didn’t treat me well.
But I miss how you felt.
The connection.
The dancing.
But you are mean.
You don’t care.
You hurt me.
You will hurt me so if I choose to be with you again, I choose to be hurt.
And I deserve better.
May 10
May 10, 2026 at 2:06 AM UTC
I miss you, but I don’t miss the mornings in bed when you got up and I had to remind you that I needed to take my thyroid meds.
That I had to wait about half an hour for breakfast and that I wanted to start slow.
Take it easy.
You always looked at me like I was crazy.
You didn’t listen.
I miss you, but I don’t miss how you crossed my boundaries.
Over and over again, and I had to explain everything so many times.
You never tried to see it from my side.
It just wouldn’t land.
You didn’t want any trouble.
Only the good parts.
And you took it.
The good stuff.
You also gave me a lot.
But I can do without it.
I wanted you and I wanted you to understand.
And in some ways you did, but that was just when it was natural.
When it came from your world.
Only when you chose to be in my world, you would be in it.
Only at your time.
My speed was not valued.
You didn’t like mine.
You didn’t like it when it was difficult.
Or you made it worse.
So much worse.
You tore up everything that was still right.
You told me to leave when I had just arrived after traveling.
You didn’t like my routines and you didn’t treat me well.
But I miss how you felt.
The connection.
The dancing.
But you are mean.
You don’t care.
You hurt me.
You will hurt me so if I choose to be with you again, I choose to be hurt.
And I deserve better.
10-05-26
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