Black and White or Grey?

april-dean Poems

I hate being around people Yet I hate total solitude I cannot stand the silence Yet the sound of others drives me mad I hate being this way Yet the thought of fixing it frightens me Changing who I think I am To impress others? This lonely world of black and white Could not mix shades of grey. Is the white evil? Is the black? What if I choose wrong Like I always do? Would I scuttle back into the shadows Like the disgusting creature I've become? Dwelling amidst the trash and garbage Where other creatures dwell? Or do I jump into the light? That peace by some forgotten lake, barely a blip on some local map, which Time and I have forgotten? To me Neither is preferable. I cannot live Dwelling in the shadows Nor basking in the light. From here I do not know what I am why I am and I always fail at preparing the color I want