When they come here
It's never for me.
I find myself lingering,
Hesitating,
And wondering why
But knowing it at the same time.
You have to open your heart
To invite people in
And for reasons even I cannot fathom,
My heart cannot be opened.
I must resign myself
To forever being
An outsider.
Mar 16, 2019
Mar 16, 2019 at 1:38 AM UTC
The warmth that filled me
is
gone.
My companion
My strength
My heart
I hear the voice over and over
"Oh, she's already gone."
And my heart
Breaks and branches
Over
And over
And over.
And I know...
I know she's gone.
But what I wouldn't give
To have her back.
Mar 1, 2019
Mar 1, 2019 at 10:34 PM UTC
Loss
The normal life that's passed.
The life that was lost.
The talent given and taken.
The innocence of a simple life.
What would have been.
What could have been.
What should have.
What never should have.
The blinded artist.
The muted singer.
The deafened tuner.
The wounded athlete.
The child who survived
when everyone else did not.
The woman who lost her beloved in life.
The man who lost his beloved in death.
The people who must endure
through endless pain
endless torment.
Those who suffer for the sake of others.
Those who must allow others to suffer for them.
The kind people.
The poor people.
The broken people.
The parent waiting for their child to wake up.
The child waiting for their parents to come home.
The celebrity despised by everyone
who never did anything
you or I wouldn't have done.
The genius who lost their intellect.
The hero who lost their sanity.
The witness kept awake at night
wishing they'd never gone out.
Apr 19, 2016
Apr 19, 2016 at 12:44 AM UTC
I wish I could trust people.
I really, truly do.
The nicest people have
the nicest voices
the nicest souls.
They comfort me.
I wish I could trust them.
Let my guard down for once.
I shouldn't even have a guard.
I'd like to say my life is nice.
A nice life, with no reason
to keep myself guarded.
If I can't feel safe,
is it still nice?
If my guard won't come down...
Why?
Why can't I trust someone?
Why do I keep my guard up?
Why?
Is there a reason my guard doesn't fall?
They say behind the nicest smiles
are the cruelest intentions.
Nov 19, 2015
Nov 19, 2015 at 1:00 AM UTC
The heart chills, my mind stills.
What am I doing?
My existence, devolved to nothing.
My strength seems like something of the past.
I think of death.
Sweet death, cold
Like ice cream.
The more I taste, the colder I feel.
The more my mind hurts.
Yet I cannot stop myself.
This taste that lingers on my tongue
is perhaps
the only thing keeping me sane.
My eyes are frozen.
I keep them covered to keep them warm.
Warm
Unlike the ice cold chill I always feel
The only antidote for this cold
Is the warmth of a blanket.
They say that people can provide warmth too
but...
to leave my only point of sanity and comfort?
It seems too much for me.
My frozen body cannot thaw.
I no longer create my own warmth.
I need others.
A stronger person
who can protect me from the Cold.
From this moment,
I was never my own.
My pain belongs to me.
My discomfort belongs to me.
My chill belongs to me.
I would never burden someone
with my troubles.
I hurt because I don't want to be hurt.
I am protected because I don't want to be safe.
I am cold because I don't want to be cold.
I am dead because I didn't want to die.
Nov 17, 2015
Nov 17, 2015 at 1:17 AM UTC
I hate being around people
Yet I hate total solitude
I cannot stand the silence
Yet the sound of others drives me mad
I hate being this way
Yet the thought of fixing it
frightens me
Changing who I think I am
To impress others?
This lonely world of black and white
Could not mix shades of grey.
Is the white evil?
Is the black?
What if I choose wrong
Like I always do?
Would I scuttle back into the shadows
Like the disgusting creature I've become?
Dwelling amidst the trash and garbage
Where other creatures dwell?
Or do I jump into the light?
That peace by some forgotten lake,
barely a blip on some local map,
which Time and I have forgotten?
To me
Neither is preferable.
I cannot live
Dwelling in the shadows
Nor basking in the light.
From here
I do not know
what I am
why I am
and I always fail
at preparing the color
I want
Jan 11, 2015
Jan 11, 2015 at 12:28 PM UTC
I complain about the weather
I complain about the cold
I complain about my pains
And all the people 'round me
I send away my friends
I send away my peers
I send away my family
And complain about being alone
Jan 11, 2015
Jan 11, 2015 at 12:14 PM UTC
A ghost drifted into town
No one knew her name
Her parents moved straight through her
Her peers talked around her
If anyone noticed the ghost
They became a ghost too
The ghost tried speaking
But to no avail
The other ones around her
Gave her no peace.
The bright light in her mind
Could not reach around the corners
I do not know where this ghost is now
but I know how she feels.
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 10, 2015 at 1:00 AM UTC
I'm fiNE.
nEver felt better.
have you Decided
on AnytHing in yoUr future?
if you haven't
Give up.
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 10, 2015 at 12:51 AM UTC
She called for us
We ignored her
She called again
Still we paid no mind
She stopped calling
Did we care?
She slit her throat
We did not stop
Her heart did.
Only then did we look up
and realize we were wrong.
Our present is important
Hers was too
If we paid some attention
Her blood is on our hands
We paid no attention
When we had the chance.
Now our future is built on one more ****** corpse.
Complain if we must
We put it there.
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 10, 2015 at 12:28 AM UTC