dead dead dead
don’t look at me like that
don’t pierce me with your cruel eyes
i don’t need you to see me like this
cornered
guts clenching with the cold hard guilt
hiding behind a plastic smile
dead inside
i say to myself
over and over
“Everything will be alright”
“Everything will be fine”
but i’m hurtling through the dark murk
with the blinders on
can’t see
dead dead
i see my hands
cold
gray
skeletal
my thin wrists
pale
scarred
though not so much as my legs
(i try to hide my pain)
i’m jumping from dream to shining dream
i can’t stoop to smell the roses,
though they are quite pretty
i can’t make myself
can’t take my half closed eyes off the haze
for even a second
i know you see me like this (as much as you can tell)
and i don’t like it
look elsewhere
it’s none of your business anyway
let me keep my own company
of plastic smiles
and dead eyes
and the cold hard twist
of the dagger of guilt in my stomach
Jan 8, 2018
Jan 8, 2018 at 10:17 PM UTC
dead dead dead
don’t look at me like that
don’t pierce me with your cruel eyes
i don’t need you to see me like this
cornered
guts clenching with the cold hard guilt
hiding behind a plastic smile
dead inside
i say to myself
over and over
“Everything will be alright”
“Everything will be fine”
but i’m hurtling through the dark murk
with the blinders on
can’t see
dead dead
i see my hands
cold
gray
skeletal
my thin wrists
pale
scarred
though not so much as my legs
(i try to hide my pain)
i’m jumping from dream to shining dream
i can’t stoop to smell the roses,
though they are quite pretty
i can’t make myself
can’t take my half closed eyes off the haze
for even a second
i know you see me like this (as much as you can tell)
and i don’t like it
look elsewhere
it’s none of your business anyway
let me keep my own company
of plastic smiles
and dead eyes
and the cold hard twist
of the dagger of guilt in my stomach
Thoughts I have sometimes
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