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deadboycreekPoems
03.24.19 I.    i could not stay awake not for another breath,     what with you pulling air so close to mine, thoughts persistent, visions relentless        (to look around, to remember where you are) do you know who you are (? )   scoffing somewhere, removed from me were their eyes to fall upon me     she is omnipresent, all around me when i breathe- gone from here none of this feels familiar,       not the sheets not the shadows of the room,      the lights flicked off and i feel-       heat from your body over the moisture of mine                (i recognize none of it ) vividly i vision the seams of buildings edges of avenues, bordered in cars and trees               bridges i crossed everyday; away             ( anxious i self inflict, i gasp)    days stretch on like where are the lines ?    where are the spaces, from calendars to clockwork saying when and how and who done it           to number time, confine the time, throttle- with the windows always dark,       a blue sky in a frame on the kitchen wall,       could belong absolutely anywhere       and i recognize nothing, not the floor       not the ceiling where i lay, you besides me       all day and all night, i see distortion        (strange to accept and hard to believe ) 9:57 pm II. strength of something torn from here,     paradoxical; gone and omnipresent wrapped in this flesh of yours     however absent/// longways away from here     no word of yours or mine could be said without grain from some other         fruitful tree;  i see orchards ! they litter the sky     so much of this life is inescapable 10:09 pm III. were i to close my eyes i still perceive movement     limning of you behind my eyelids, aura i catch the ghosts of wrinkles, were i to open my eyes        would be your arms;             ( i need not open them)      i know by some imbued reflex that we are kissing, i see it in my head between the ears       they melt together, i feel it in the stomach      not on the tongue where you are making a home nothing exists but the place where we            reunite like a bird catching a fish in midair        movement once more, and know somehow    no semblance of time, no notion of time then it is your tongue and your tongue only    which connects me to this earth for i am smoke;                   liquid, i am nothing else i am music then, somehow and by some miracle you sing somewhere as well, might i be the wind, only hyper aware of the way i greet your body, skin vaporized, my fingers pulverized i settle like dust all around you i could be anywhere        nothing but the fragment of space/// time where you are here with me          a body that is separate and somehow         infinitely harmonized to mine 10:25 pm IV.                          i see who i was a month ago,                                                                   unrecognizable!       the path from here to there                                      has been erased like wind over sand       a tie has been severed,                                           to the other life,                                     she might as well have been killed                            on a commute somewhere 11:48 pm V. at last, words slither out like animals a burrow, a hole in the ground they were buried, at last you dig graves, collect skeletons (it is something you do at night) one does wonder, what good is reached by accumulating laughter; i have never laughed as i do now 11:51 pm --------------------------------------------------------   03.25.19 VI.               static whistles in the background        of an intermediate place                 a place with no name          i think perhaps i am a furred leaf                       for i grow roots around water /// a rocket ship sends a message back where it came from a planet formerly known as HOME: [i am safe somewhere] 12:09 pm 03.28.219 VII.   i clean my mouth of it, i purify that which has so clouded,    depths of the murky mind i wash my hands of it i dissipate fear i eradicate guilt i bathe my toes in a river      un-tethered from all which has so consumed me i breath into lungs now drowned into action a pull from my chest, over and onto heaving gasps of fresh air- somewhere between our hands, dust settled:      ( i let it gather) truth speaks discomfort, i **** paralysis!     fight or flight, the third instinct, to freeze may we be rid of it may the mind be free from all idle thought and hollow circuits (a yellow bird flies onward, a prayer... ) 1:12 pm
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Jun 15, 2020
Jun 15, 2020 at 3:54 PM UTC
03.19
03.24.19 I.    i could not stay awake not for another breath,     what with you pulling air so close to mine, thoughts persistent, visions relentless        (to look around, to remember where you are) do you know who you are (? )   scoffing somewhere, removed from me were their eyes to fall upon me     she is omnipresent, all around me when i breathe- gone from here none of this feels familiar,       not the sheets not the shadows of the room,      the lights flicked off and i feel-       heat from your body over the moisture of mine                (i recognize none of it ) vividly i vision the seams of buildings edges of avenues, bordered in cars and trees               bridges i crossed everyday; away             ( anxious i self inflict, i gasp)    days stretch on like where are the lines ?    where are the spaces, from calendars to clockwork saying when and how and who done it           to number time, confine the time, throttle- with the windows always dark,       a blue sky in a frame on the kitchen wall,       could belong absolutely anywhere       and i recognize nothing, not the floor       not the ceiling where i lay, you besides me       all day and all night, i see distortion        (strange to accept and hard to believe ) 9:57 pm II. strength of something torn from here,     paradoxical; gone and omnipresent wrapped in this flesh of yours     however absent/// longways away from here     no word of yours or mine could be said without grain from some other         fruitful tree;  i see orchards ! they litter the sky     so much of this life is inescapable 10:09 pm III. were i to close my eyes i still perceive movement     limning of you behind my eyelids, aura i catch the ghosts of wrinkles, were i to open my eyes        would be your arms;             ( i need not open them)      i know by some imbued reflex that we are kissing, i see it in my head between the ears       they melt together, i feel it in the stomach      not on the tongue where you are making a home nothing exists but the place where we            reunite like a bird catching a fish in midair        movement once more, and know somehow    no semblance of time, no notion of time then it is your tongue and your tongue only    which connects me to this earth for i am smoke;                   liquid, i am nothing else i am music then, somehow and by some miracle you sing somewhere as well, might i be the wind, only hyper aware of the way i greet your body, skin vaporized, my fingers pulverized i settle like dust all around you i could be anywhere        nothing but the fragment of space/// time where you are here with me          a body that is separate and somehow         infinitely harmonized to mine 10:25 pm IV.                          i see who i was a month ago,                                                                   unrecognizable!       the path from here to there                                      has been erased like wind over sand       a tie has been severed,                                           to the other life,                                     she might as well have been killed                            on a commute somewhere 11:48 pm V. at last, words slither out like animals a burrow, a hole in the ground they were buried, at last you dig graves, collect skeletons (it is something you do at night) one does wonder, what good is reached by accumulating laughter; i have never laughed as i do now 11:51 pm --------------------------------------------------------   03.25.19 VI.               static whistles in the background        of an intermediate place                 a place with no name          i think perhaps i am a furred leaf                       for i grow roots around water /// a rocket ship sends a message back where it came from a planet formerly known as HOME: [i am safe somewhere] 12:09 pm 03.28.219 VII.   i clean my mouth of it, i purify that which has so clouded,    depths of the murky mind i wash my hands of it i dissipate fear i eradicate guilt i bathe my toes in a river      un-tethered from all which has so consumed me i breath into lungs now drowned into action a pull from my chest, over and onto heaving gasps of fresh air- somewhere between our hands, dust settled:      ( i let it gather) truth speaks discomfort, i **** paralysis!     fight or flight, the third instinct, to freeze may we be rid of it may the mind be free from all idle thought and hollow circuits (a yellow bird flies onward, a prayer... ) 1:12 pm
a short collection of poems i wrote consecutively over a period of a few days in which i detail some of the thoughts and feelings i had after moving out and going out into the world
#change#breath#sadness#depression#free#verse#truth#adulthood
deadboycreek
Written by
deadboycreek
22/Non-binary/mérida, yucatán
Jun 15, 2020
Jun 15, 2020 at 3:54 PM UTC
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