I want to scream until my lungs give out,
I'm tired of being silent, I'm tired of feeling
This monster inside me pace back and forth, I'm
Afraid to let it lose because I don’t want to be like
You, so I close my eyes and breathe in deep to compose
Myself, but truth be told, I'm dying inside,
I'm tired of being the bigger person all the **** time,
I've never truly experienced what its like to be a kid,
I got stuck raising my brother while you drank your
Pain away till you finally reached your breaking point
And would beat me, I'm tired of smiling through the pain
And the blood I shed for you, I've done my time,
I'm tired of living in fear of you, to expect to come home
To you with the smell of alcohol and the belt that would
Be waiting for me, I'm tired of lying to my brother about the
Bruises I would have because I didn’t want him to know what
A monster you were, instead I would lie and say just another
Fight with a kid at school,
I'm tired of being called names and being pushed around,
I'm tired of being a mother to my little brother when I
Should be busy fighting with him instead of raising him,
I was at the point of giving up, but then I would look at him
And he was what kept the fire going, to wake up the same way;
Always another hit, another bruise, another tear, and a lot more
Fear….
I'm tired of being afraid of losing you… because even though I'm
Afraid of you, I still love you because you’re my mom… I'm afraid one
Day ill come home and you won’t be waiting for me- drunk with a belt
In your hand ready to beat me… instead you’ll be laying in bed, dead…
I wouldn’t know what to do because you wouldn’t be there to call me
The familiar names I've come to accept as each lash came down…
Truth is… I've come to accept it... That this is your way of saying you
Love me… but at the end of the day… I may be angry with you…
But I still love the monster that you’ve become because this is the only
form I've ever seen come you come in- a monster
Feb 5, 2014
Feb 5, 2014 at 3:52 PM UTC
I want to scream until my lungs give out,
I'm tired of being silent, I'm tired of feeling
This monster inside me pace back and forth, I'm
Afraid to let it lose because I don’t want to be like
You, so I close my eyes and breathe in deep to compose
Myself, but truth be told, I'm dying inside,
I'm tired of being the bigger person all the **** time,
I've never truly experienced what its like to be a kid,
I got stuck raising my brother while you drank your
Pain away till you finally reached your breaking point
And would beat me, I'm tired of smiling through the pain
And the blood I shed for you, I've done my time,
I'm tired of living in fear of you, to expect to come home
To you with the smell of alcohol and the belt that would
Be waiting for me, I'm tired of lying to my brother about the
Bruises I would have because I didn’t want him to know what
A monster you were, instead I would lie and say just another
Fight with a kid at school,
I'm tired of being called names and being pushed around,
I'm tired of being a mother to my little brother when I
Should be busy fighting with him instead of raising him,
I was at the point of giving up, but then I would look at him
And he was what kept the fire going, to wake up the same way;
Always another hit, another bruise, another tear, and a lot more
Fear….
I'm tired of being afraid of losing you… because even though I'm
Afraid of you, I still love you because you’re my mom… I'm afraid one
Day ill come home and you won’t be waiting for me- drunk with a belt
In your hand ready to beat me… instead you’ll be laying in bed, dead…
I wouldn’t know what to do because you wouldn’t be there to call me
The familiar names I've come to accept as each lash came down…
Truth is… I've come to accept it... That this is your way of saying you
Love me… but at the end of the day… I may be angry with you…
But I still love the monster that you’ve become because this is the only
form I've ever seen come you come in- a monster