I never thought losing would feel so good
In a world where I am told never to admit defeat
Where my worth is measured in the battles won
In the scars and scabs littered on my form
In wars waged in silence
In how chipped and shattered
How bruised and battered
How ruined
How ****** up I am
And how brave a face I put on
I could have never imagined relief coming from conceding
From admitting I have been bested
From admitting I lost my heart to an angel
Now on a cold night I sit staring at a cloudless sky
Painting its empty canvas with dreams
Dreams of a world where the heart I crave beats for me
Dreams of a universe where my cold hand is warmed by yours
Dreams of finding my diamond in this rough world
Dreams of seeing your eyes brighten as I walk in a room
Dreams that turn into fantasies
Fantasies of flesh touching
Figures entwining
Windows fogged
Breaths shortened
Thirst quenched
Hunger sated
Bodies fed
Souls healed
Hearts mended
Fantasies so vivid they border on fallacy
I lose grasp of what is real and what I imagine
Because in both the real and the fake
I center you
I yearn for you
In both the real and the fake
I worship you
Whether it’s the world I dream up
Or the world I wake in
The world I make up
Or the world I’ll die in
The world where I can keep up
Or the world I don’t want to be in
The world I smile in
Or the one I shed my tears in
You are the main character
Be it reality or fiction
On you, I fixate
And whatever is wrong in you
I wish to fix it
Whatever is right in you
I wish to feel it
And whoever you want with you
I want to be him
What was meant to be a small spark has burned
Ingrained in my soul is the imprint of your palm
A palm that has held my fractured soul and patched it up
A palm that has warmed a condemned soul with a touch
The soft touch of the woman who will one day be mine
Alas, all of this only happens on my dark canvas
Reality begs to differ
In this world you are but a figment of my imagination
A stray thought given life by yearning
A prayer whispered on the loneliest of nights
A wish echoing throughout the universe
Uttered by the last vestige of a sad soul
An ever-present thought in the back of an unstable mind
You are fiction made real
Perfection personified
Purity given form
But can I really ever have you?
On the nights when the world is loud
When my mind is straining
When the brass bars that cage the dark are creaking
The slow hum of my psyche rusting away echoes deep
The scars etched on my soul split open, spilling the ghosts of all my past woes upon me
And in that final moment before despair gives way to death
I think of you
Of how gently my soul would rest in your hands
How tenderly you would trace the calluses on my heart
How softly you would tend to my aches
How warmly you would hold my trembling frame
How my angel would wrap me in her wings
How my goddess would fly me away
The echoes of lost dreams
The remnants of hope
The fragments of joy
The traces of happiness
The embers of passion
The shadows of past light
The ashes of a shattered core
All amalgamate into one final push
A last stand that will echo through the world
A cry that will shake the unseen
A yell of pure anguish
A desperate wail for you to hear
All this is yet again wishful thinking
Because no matter how hard I try
No matter how much I strain myself
All that comes out is a quiet whisper
A murmur from my fading self that I hope your soul will hear
So I promise to hold on for as long as I can
I will hold the patchwork of what is left together until you come
Keep the demons at bay until my answered prayer comes
Hold off the darkness until you shine your light on me
Keep my sanity intact for you
Because there is only so much time left when your blood runs cold
When a heart that should pump red now bleeds tears
A soul that should feel fiercely is numbed
A smile that would be real is faked
Eyes that would sparkle are dimming
So hurry up and find me before I go
Hurry up and come home
Nov 8, 2025
Nov 8, 2025 at 11:12 AM UTC
I never thought losing would feel so good
In a world where I am told never to admit defeat
Where my worth is measured in the battles won
In the scars and scabs littered on my form
In wars waged in silence
In how chipped and shattered
How bruised and battered
How ruined
How ****** up I am
And how brave a face I put on
I could have never imagined relief coming from conceding
From admitting I have been bested
From admitting I lost my heart to an angel
Now on a cold night I sit staring at a cloudless sky
Painting its empty canvas with dreams
Dreams of a world where the heart I crave beats for me
Dreams of a universe where my cold hand is warmed by yours
Dreams of finding my diamond in this rough world
Dreams of seeing your eyes brighten as I walk in a room
Dreams that turn into fantasies
Fantasies of flesh touching
Figures entwining
Windows fogged
Breaths shortened
Thirst quenched
Hunger sated
Bodies fed
Souls healed
Hearts mended
Fantasies so vivid they border on fallacy
I lose grasp of what is real and what I imagine
Because in both the real and the fake
I center you
I yearn for you
In both the real and the fake
I worship you
Whether it’s the world I dream up
Or the world I wake in
The world I make up
Or the world I’ll die in
The world where I can keep up
Or the world I don’t want to be in
The world I smile in
Or the one I shed my tears in
You are the main character
Be it reality or fiction
On you, I fixate
And whatever is wrong in you
I wish to fix it
Whatever is right in you
I wish to feel it
And whoever you want with you
I want to be him
What was meant to be a small spark has burned
Ingrained in my soul is the imprint of your palm
A palm that has held my fractured soul and patched it up
A palm that has warmed a condemned soul with a touch
The soft touch of the woman who will one day be mine
Alas, all of this only happens on my dark canvas
Reality begs to differ
In this world you are but a figment of my imagination
A stray thought given life by yearning
A prayer whispered on the loneliest of nights
A wish echoing throughout the universe
Uttered by the last vestige of a sad soul
An ever-present thought in the back of an unstable mind
You are fiction made real
Perfection personified
Purity given form
But can I really ever have you?
On the nights when the world is loud
When my mind is straining
When the brass bars that cage the dark are creaking
The slow hum of my psyche rusting away echoes deep
The scars etched on my soul split open, spilling the ghosts of all my past woes upon me
And in that final moment before despair gives way to death
I think of you
Of how gently my soul would rest in your hands
How tenderly you would trace the calluses on my heart
How softly you would tend to my aches
How warmly you would hold my trembling frame
How my angel would wrap me in her wings
How my goddess would fly me away
The echoes of lost dreams
The remnants of hope
The fragments of joy
The traces of happiness
The embers of passion
The shadows of past light
The ashes of a shattered core
All amalgamate into one final push
A last stand that will echo through the world
A cry that will shake the unseen
A yell of pure anguish
A desperate wail for you to hear
All this is yet again wishful thinking
Because no matter how hard I try
No matter how much I strain myself
All that comes out is a quiet whisper
A murmur from my fading self that I hope your soul will hear
So I promise to hold on for as long as I can
I will hold the patchwork of what is left together until you come
Keep the demons at bay until my answered prayer comes
Hold off the darkness until you shine your light on me
Keep my sanity intact for you
Because there is only so much time left when your blood runs cold
When a heart that should pump red now bleeds tears
A soul that should feel fiercely is numbed
A smile that would be real is faked
Eyes that would sparkle are dimming
So hurry up and find me before I go
Hurry up and come home