Happy 6 months sweetie! I love you so much <3
6 months
120 some days
but all i remember are the nights
of loneliness
staring at the ceiling
wondering a million what-ifs
and what-did-i-dos
what if i never brought it up
what if you never texted her
what if we just talked
what did i not do that she did
what did i do that wasn't enough
not skinny enough?
not kind enough?
not perfect enough?
i've concluded
not enough
curling up
holding my stomach tight
breathing heavy into my pillow
so no one knew
my anxiety attacks about you
thinking about you
and then her
really leaves me here
to think with my mind unclear
left with a smear
nothing to do
no one to go to
but you
only
you are not there
not in the same way
as before
or at least
not for me
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 9:46 PM UTC
Happy 6 months sweetie! I love you so much <3
6 months
120 some days
but all i remember are the nights
of loneliness
staring at the ceiling
wondering a million what-ifs
and what-did-i-dos
what if i never brought it up
what if you never texted her
what if we just talked
what did i not do that she did
what did i do that wasn't enough
not skinny enough?
not kind enough?
not perfect enough?
i've concluded
not enough
curling up
holding my stomach tight
breathing heavy into my pillow
so no one knew
my anxiety attacks about you
thinking about you
and then her
really leaves me here
to think with my mind unclear
left with a smear
nothing to do
no one to go to
but you
only
you are not there
not in the same way
as before
or at least
not for me
