Eyes close
And shadows creep in
Pulling at the corners of my mind
Darkness and chaos
Leave me breathless until I awaken
A beacon of light
I chase but can’t find
Running towards but
Never reach, arms outstretched
Vying for love
I’ll never feel again
Tears fall, “HELP” I yell
But nothing comes except the shadows
The things I can’t outrun, because they are within
The things ignored while conscious
Haunt my sleep
The trauma, pain, fear,
And now grief, stain my dreams
No longer are my late night thoughts safe
Instead
Something else to run away from
But I can’t flee
There’s no freedom in death
Just broken pieces left behind
A daughter asking “why?”
Was I enough?
My dreams tell me no
“I could’ve done more”
My dreams say it, so it must be true
The secrets I buried
Rise from their graves, as I lay in bed
Rocking gently at first
Before violently shaking me from my sleep
“HELP!” I yell
But nothing comes except the shadows
The things I can’t outrun
Because they are within
~Channie Russell 12/17/2025
Apr 27
Apr 27, 2026 at 11:25 PM UTC
Eyes close
And shadows creep in
Pulling at the corners of my mind
Darkness and chaos
Leave me breathless until I awaken
A beacon of light
I chase but can’t find
Running towards but
Never reach, arms outstretched
Vying for love
I’ll never feel again
Tears fall, “HELP” I yell
But nothing comes except the shadows
The things I can’t outrun, because they are within
The things ignored while conscious
Haunt my sleep
The trauma, pain, fear,
And now grief, stain my dreams
No longer are my late night thoughts safe
Instead
Something else to run away from
But I can’t flee
There’s no freedom in death
Just broken pieces left behind
A daughter asking “why?”
Was I enough?
My dreams tell me no
“I could’ve done more”
My dreams say it, so it must be true
The secrets I buried
Rise from their graves, as I lay in bed
Rocking gently at first
Before violently shaking me from my sleep
“HELP!” I yell
But nothing comes except the shadows
The things I can’t outrun
Because they are within
~Channie Russell 12/17/2025