I see so often
others happy alongside their love
saying love saved them
I hear so often
others asking me who I'm into
if I have a crush or want a lover
I used to be okay alone
I needed to love myself before I could love another
I wasnt searching for happiness in love
But these days I feel
l o n e l y
I dont need someone else to love me
I don't want someone else to hold me
I'm fine by myself
What I want is to love someone else
These days i find myself not caring about anyone
I want to feel affection towards the world around me
I want my heart to jump out of my chest and latch onto the next person I see
I want
I want
Maybe I want to drown in petals
Just like back in 9th grade
The last time I remember loving someone else
To no prevail I fell in love
I beat myself
Burned myself and scratched myself
Ripped myself apart for her
And I want it back
To suffocate helplessly in the delicate blooms of unrequited affection
To fall asleep covered in a sick mixture of ****** tears
To destroy myself for the sake of someone else
Oh to be in love
Aug 18, 2020
Aug 18, 2020 at 12:30 AM UTC
I see so often
others happy alongside their love
saying love saved them
I hear so often
others asking me who I'm into
if I have a crush or want a lover
I used to be okay alone
I needed to love myself before I could love another
I wasnt searching for happiness in love
But these days I feel
l o n e l y
I dont need someone else to love me
I don't want someone else to hold me
I'm fine by myself
What I want is to love someone else
These days i find myself not caring about anyone
I want to feel affection towards the world around me
I want my heart to jump out of my chest and latch onto the next person I see
I want
I want
Maybe I want to drown in petals
Just like back in 9th grade
The last time I remember loving someone else
To no prevail I fell in love
I beat myself
Burned myself and scratched myself
Ripped myself apart for her
And I want it back
To suffocate helplessly in the delicate blooms of unrequited affection
To fall asleep covered in a sick mixture of ****** tears
To destroy myself for the sake of someone else
Oh to be in love
I've noticed that I've never missed someone before. Never missed my dead great grandparents or my sister when she left for college. I've never missed anyone.
And it's been 3 years since my last crush. I was in love with my best friend. My straight best friend. And I tire myself up cause being gay is disgusting and I couldnt handle myself.
But I havent been sad either. I'm never happy never sad. I dont cry dont smile dont get mad, nothing.
I'm starting to feel like a robot
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