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As a child the frustration and aggravation we caused our parents counting down the days until Christmas or our Birthday. And those afternoons in elementary school trying not to doze off while counting the minutes until the dismissal bell would ring. The older I got the more I've counted my life away. Count the years until 16 to be able to drive and be free. Count the years until 21 to be able to drink and feel like a grownup. Counting the months then years of the length of each relationship Waiting to be wed. Then counting the negative pregnancy tests over and over becoming hopeless that I would ever be able to count little toes and fingers. Counting the tears that I shed for my husband, as the fairy tale family I dreamed of turned into a nightmare. Counting the nights left alone, scared and waiting for him to return home. Counting the minutes between each contraction. Counting the moments before my miracle would arrive. Then counting the staples in my belly where she had to be taken from my body so that we would survive. Finally counting ten piggies and ten little fingers Counting the hours and days daddy left us alone and scared in the hospital for him to party and drink. Counting the paragraphs on the separation papers Counting the steps to the court house Counting the people watching as my romance and love was flushed away Counting the almost endless nights praying for me and my baby Counting her smiles, counting her wishes Counting her Birthday's Counting the moments I am blessed to be her mom Counting the hours of work to be able to return home to her. I will spend my lifetime counting.
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Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 2:40 PM UTC
Lifetime Counting
As a child the frustration and aggravation we caused our parents counting down the days until Christmas or our Birthday. And those afternoons in elementary school trying not to doze off while counting the minutes until the dismissal bell would ring. The older I got the more I've counted my life away. Count the years until 16 to be able to drive and be free. Count the years until 21 to be able to drink and feel like a grownup. Counting the months then years of the length of each relationship Waiting to be wed. Then counting the negative pregnancy tests over and over becoming hopeless that I would ever be able to count little toes and fingers. Counting the tears that I shed for my husband, as the fairy tale family I dreamed of turned into a nightmare. Counting the nights left alone, scared and waiting for him to return home. Counting the minutes between each contraction. Counting the moments before my miracle would arrive. Then counting the staples in my belly where she had to be taken from my body so that we would survive. Finally counting ten piggies and ten little fingers Counting the hours and days daddy left us alone and scared in the hospital for him to party and drink. Counting the paragraphs on the separation papers Counting the steps to the court house Counting the people watching as my romance and love was flushed away Counting the almost endless nights praying for me and my baby Counting her smiles, counting her wishes Counting her Birthday's Counting the moments I am blessed to be her mom Counting the hours of work to be able to return home to her. I will spend my lifetime counting.
amberblank15
Written by
42/F/American
Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 2:40 PM UTC
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