We have no fun we haven’t for so long work work work, and waterfalls of tears, for years
Still so lonely even though you were near,
Everyday and a beer,
I am listening my dear loud and clear
I can repeat every word you said,
just sending a quote
to Janice from standsted,
Why you look so sad
Because I’ve been pouring my heart out
confiding to your forehead,
while you look down at a screen
since the day we met,
I know you love me. I love you too.
It’s so hard i wish you could understand
I wish you knew.
My heart aches
so much without you.
if only it was that easy.
Wave a magic wand an life be breezy
I’m being strong.
Prepared to walk away.
from the love of my life I Imagined growing old with some day,
It’s so confusing it’s so unclear the future I used to see for us
Days filled with constant uncertainty
I try to see but it’s filled with dust
a quick fix maybe
you say it’s upto me.
We can be a family.
But I cannot be with a man, that justifies violence
in front of, our babies,
it was just a finger
it was just a hand
across my mouth,
so I couldn’t speak
Can that still be justified,
really ?
And all the others times I dread to speak
but I do
I repeat the awful memories I’ve kept deep,
only because you opened the wounds again.
After promising years, before
that, that was the end,
I said I would walk away, if you ever, laid a hand my way, again
but here I am still holding out hope begging you to understand, I have questioned my sanity
while you watch an deny my reality, call me crazy,
No this cannot be
The man I married
But more importantly
the children we made
even though it kills me to repeat. To bring up these memories, you think I’m living in the past I just love negativity
Do you have any idea throughout our history
Is that what you really believe,
it’s ok
it’s not that bad
While our daughter stands beside with tears in her eyes
Begging you to stop, you don’t
So She runs away, outside
if I stay, it shows to her,
That, this is ok
And will except that,
in her
future husband one day.
I will not let that happen
No way ! This cycle ends today
As I write down my boundaries on this
Page, theres no room
For grace. In this case.
It breaks my heart
I grieve everyday
Get back together we’ll be ok
for a while at least
Then back here again the same
because nothing ever changed,
words and promises have no meaning now,
To many times you broke your vows.
The trust has gone which makes it worse,
It will take a long time to build it back again.
But I’m willing to try of course
You’re my man father of my children. I didn’t
Get married, for it, to end in divorce.
Being separated from my girls while they spend the weekend with dad,
No thanks, **** that.
I will do everything I can to fight for us.
But I cannot do that alone.
I cannot swallow an deny what’s real
and what happened to me.
Do not live in your lies an blame me, for your own comfort and ease
for the hurt you caused.
Stand tall with integrity
and hold accountability.
Some people never do.
Face the truth of themselves,
live their life and a 1000 fake smiles,
This is the only way to feel safe
An trust
The only hope for us,
If you really feel this is something you cannot do, then put me out my misery,
let me
Put on my shoes,
an walk away from your
ego that
obviously means more to you.
As I said before one day you will realise
But by then it will be too late.
May 16
May 16, 2026 at 6:14 PM UTC
We have no fun we haven’t for so long work work work, and waterfalls of tears, for years
Still so lonely even though you were near,
Everyday and a beer,
I am listening my dear loud and clear
I can repeat every word you said,
just sending a quote
to Janice from standsted,
Why you look so sad
Because I’ve been pouring my heart out
confiding to your forehead,
while you look down at a screen
since the day we met,
I know you love me. I love you too.
It’s so hard i wish you could understand
I wish you knew.
My heart aches
so much without you.
if only it was that easy.
Wave a magic wand an life be breezy
I’m being strong.
Prepared to walk away.
from the love of my life I Imagined growing old with some day,
It’s so confusing it’s so unclear the future I used to see for us
Days filled with constant uncertainty
I try to see but it’s filled with dust
a quick fix maybe
you say it’s upto me.
We can be a family.
But I cannot be with a man, that justifies violence
in front of, our babies,
it was just a finger
it was just a hand
across my mouth,
so I couldn’t speak
Can that still be justified,
really ?
And all the others times I dread to speak
but I do
I repeat the awful memories I’ve kept deep,
only because you opened the wounds again.
After promising years, before
that, that was the end,
I said I would walk away, if you ever, laid a hand my way, again
but here I am still holding out hope begging you to understand, I have questioned my sanity
while you watch an deny my reality, call me crazy,
No this cannot be
The man I married
But more importantly
the children we made
even though it kills me to repeat. To bring up these memories, you think I’m living in the past I just love negativity
Do you have any idea throughout our history
Is that what you really believe,
it’s ok
it’s not that bad
While our daughter stands beside with tears in her eyes
Begging you to stop, you don’t
So She runs away, outside
if I stay, it shows to her,
That, this is ok
And will except that,
in her
future husband one day.
I will not let that happen
No way ! This cycle ends today
As I write down my boundaries on this
Page, theres no room
For grace. In this case.
It breaks my heart
I grieve everyday
Get back together we’ll be ok
for a while at least
Then back here again the same
because nothing ever changed,
words and promises have no meaning now,
To many times you broke your vows.
The trust has gone which makes it worse,
It will take a long time to build it back again.
But I’m willing to try of course
You’re my man father of my children. I didn’t
Get married, for it, to end in divorce.
Being separated from my girls while they spend the weekend with dad,
No thanks, **** that.
I will do everything I can to fight for us.
But I cannot do that alone.
I cannot swallow an deny what’s real
and what happened to me.
Do not live in your lies an blame me, for your own comfort and ease
for the hurt you caused.
Stand tall with integrity
and hold accountability.
Some people never do.
Face the truth of themselves,
live their life and a 1000 fake smiles,
This is the only way to feel safe
An trust
The only hope for us,
If you really feel this is something you cannot do, then put me out my misery,
let me
Put on my shoes,
an walk away from your
ego that
obviously means more to you.
As I said before one day you will realise
But by then it will be too late.
New to poetry, think I need to try and not write so much. Consolidate it. Looking through I can see a lot of bits I could cut out or make shorter.
It’s hard though because it’s like a diary to me so many I have of these just notes and poetry feeling so numb it’s the only way to get it out sometimes either that or scream and shout !
