I used to
think
I would always go back to you;
the one who hurt me,
the monster under the bed
who turned out not to be a monster at all
but instead
just someone who couldn't help
their own destructiveness.
But now,
I'm not so sure.
After all we've been through
after all those sleepless nights,
I want you back.
But I can never forget
those painful memories,
those nights spent
alone
and waiting
for
you.
Like waking from a dream,
I can't quite remember
the details grow foggier
in my moments of
sorrow
when I miss you the most.
But when I see that girl
who you once
compared me to,
who you once pleaded
I was more like,
I want to take it back.
Every moment I spent loving
you,
that was wasted
when I could never measure
up
to that perfect girl
you so often
envisioned
me to be.
But I can never be her,
only in the fantasies of your
mind.
And I guess you live
in my dreams, too,
because I can never
forget
the sweet boy
you once were
and who
I spent all that time
wishing
you would
go back to being.
So I guess,
I would go back to you,
just not the
you,
who you are now.
I would go back to the you who bought me
flowers
on Valentines day
and called me every
dusk
to tell me you
loved me.
Not the
you
who
ignored
my calls,
stopped answering my questions,
and stabbed me in my
heart
too many times,
until I couldn't
take
the bleeding
anymore.
But for him,
I would still wish on my favorite star for him.
Sep 15, 2025
Sep 15, 2025 at 2:20 AM UTC
I used to
think
I would always go back to you;
the one who hurt me,
the monster under the bed
who turned out not to be a monster at all
but instead
just someone who couldn't help
their own destructiveness.
But now,
I'm not so sure.
After all we've been through
after all those sleepless nights,
I want you back.
But I can never forget
those painful memories,
those nights spent
alone
and waiting
for
you.
Like waking from a dream,
I can't quite remember
the details grow foggier
in my moments of
sorrow
when I miss you the most.
But when I see that girl
who you once
compared me to,
who you once pleaded
I was more like,
I want to take it back.
Every moment I spent loving
you,
that was wasted
when I could never measure
up
to that perfect girl
you so often
envisioned
me to be.
But I can never be her,
only in the fantasies of your
mind.
And I guess you live
in my dreams, too,
because I can never
forget
the sweet boy
you once were
and who
I spent all that time
wishing
you would
go back to being.
So I guess,
I would go back to you,
just not the
you,
who you are now.
I would go back to the you who bought me
flowers
on Valentines day
and called me every
dusk
to tell me you
loved me.
Not the
you
who
ignored
my calls,
stopped answering my questions,
and stabbed me in my
heart
too many times,
until I couldn't
take
the bleeding
anymore.
But for him,
I would still wish on my favorite star for him.
I wrote this a long time ago. I miss you so.