I used to
think
I would always go back to you;
the one who hurt me,
the monster under the bed
who turned out not to be a monster at all
but instead
just someone who couldn't help
their own destructiveness.
But now,
I'm not so sure.
After all we've been through
after all those sleepless nights,
I want you back.
But I can never forget
those painful memories,
those nights spent
alone
and waiting
for
you.
Like waking from a dream,
I can't quite remember
the details grow foggier
in my moments of
sorrow
when I miss you the most.
But when I see that girl
who you once
compared me to,
who you once pleaded
I was more like,
I want to take it back.
Every moment I spent loving
you,
that was wasted
when I could never measure
up
to that perfect girl
you so often
envisioned
me to be.
But I can never be her,
only in the fantasies of your
mind.
And I guess you live
in my dreams, too,
because I can never
forget
the sweet boy
you once were
and who
I spent all that time
wishing
you would
go back to being.
So I guess,
I would go back to you,
just not the
you,
who you are now.
I would go back to the you who bought me
flowers
on Valentines day
and called me every
dusk
to tell me you
loved me.
Not the
you
who
ignored
my calls,
stopped answering my questions,
and stabbed me in my
heart
too many times,
until I couldn't
take
the bleeding
anymore.
But for him,
I would still wish on my favorite star for him.
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 12:19 AM UTC
Someone once told me
that they believe in old love blossoming into new beginnings
At my most optimistic,
I believe, too.
I see you in my dreams
they show me glimpses;
the past, our future, and some present wonderings I can't bear to indulge
while awake.
I can't stand the thought of this being the last of us.
I love you so,
always have.
Our love once a young and beautiful bud,
it's growth stopped short.
We never got the chance to be
just those two people we were
sharing whispers by the sea.
Perhaps, I will be more optimistic.
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 12:18 AM UTC
I want to lay my head
upon your chest
and hear ancestral drums
beating beneath your skin,
calling me home
to your arms once more.
I follow their rhythm
like a man who hasn’t
made peace with not
dying terribly young,
toward a forgotten country
where your breath rises
with the tide
and my loneliness loosens.
There, beneath the hush
of your breathing,
I arrive not as thought
but as hunger.
My hands disappear into
the warm geography of you,
learning the language
of your waist,
the slow scripture
written along your hips.
I rest where your warmth opens,
listening to your body
move like moon pulled water,
into the coastal silence where
your skin becomes sea air,
and I let desire carry me home.
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 12:08 AM UTC
when i'm with you,
you make
me starve.
always starving
for affection,
love,
safety.
i throw up
i can't eat
i can't sleep,
and at the end
of the day
my feelings
for you feel
just like my stomach,
with you i feel empty.
like the bottomless
pit in my belly
i forget to eat
when i'm too busy
crying.
god god,
i'm so starving.
when i get
with you,
it felt like
i was
getting
fat,
your love fed me
three meals a day.
maybe i'll
eat my stability
for dessert.
now i wake
up
and i feel it
all again.
i forget 'til you remind me
how much
you make me feel like,
"god i'm ******* starving."
i pretend that it's
ok, as i
watch my stomach
grow flatter.
i tell myself
it's healthy,
i could lose
a few pounds.
i've always wanted
to be skinny,
anyway.
everytime you don't text back
i feel like i never
wanna eat again.
Jan 10
Jan 10, 2026 at 12:54 AM UTC
There is nothing I have felt
that compares to the feeling
of seeing the lights go up,
seeing the dance moves play out,
and the main character standing,
all alone,
center stage,
in your show.
Life is so beautiful
when we use it
to create.
How else will we tell our stories?
Or someone else’s?
Sometimes it feels
like we’re telling the tale
of long forgotten memories,
two people lost to time.
Ordinary moments made significant
by the human experience,
by emotions,
and by embracing what it means
to be alive.
An art so vast
it can be understood by all.
That look an actor gets when the moment feels all too real,
like they are so engrossed,
it feels like it's really happening to them.
That is true art
And I have never seen anything like it.
Oct 25, 2025
Oct 25, 2025 at 4:09 AM UTC
O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
Sep 15, 2025
Sep 15, 2025 at 2:24 AM UTC
It turns out
The only way to fix our relationship was to
End it.
To go back to the way
It was,
We needed a clean slate.
Then,
All of a sudden,
Like the rush of our first kiss
It was like we went back in time.
Closer
Than when we were only
Friends,
But without the romance,
We are just two
People
Who know everything
About each other.
The strangest details
And simplest old
Secrets
Told between covers
And on couches
And on sunny saturday
Afternoons
Between kisses.
The smallest things
You wouldn’t know
Unless you’ve experienced
The whole
Of someone,
In moments
That are raw
And things you could never ask.
You seem so simple to me now.
Just a plain boy
Who tells stories
Makes rashes choices
And just wants to be
Loved.
That was something you and I shared.
My eyes aren’t clouded anymore
And the two of
Us
Are clear
As the night sky,
The same as on that night
We shared
Last summer
At the the beach
When all
We cared for
Was ourselves.
And after
It all,
I’m glad you still
Care.
Because I’ll always care,
Too.
Sep 15, 2025
Sep 15, 2025 at 2:06 AM UTC