Emotions are weird and uncomfortable
It's a ******* ***** to feel nothing and everything so god **** heavy.
Barely sure that I exist.
Some say they see....but do they really?
My head's a mess, I've ignored it.
Controlling it.
Can't let go.
Then one thing and I'm undone.
What the **** is this?
A smile?
A laugh?
I've fooled myself before.
Push it away.
Let it in.
Revel in your sins, as holy as you can.
Balance has never been something I can hold for long.
I'm sick of needing to be in control.
It's time for someone to force me, to let me go.
I want to not exist.
There's an itch.
I like it there.
**** this.
Take me.
I'm no longer in control.
I'm going to enjoy playing in my bones.
Aug 20, 2025
Aug 20, 2025 at 12:52 AM UTC
Emotions are weird and uncomfortable
It's a ******* ***** to feel nothing and everything so god **** heavy.
Barely sure that I exist.
Some say they see....but do they really?
My head's a mess, I've ignored it.
Controlling it.
Can't let go.
Then one thing and I'm undone.
What the **** is this?
A smile?
A laugh?
I've fooled myself before.
Push it away.
Let it in.
Revel in your sins, as holy as you can.
Balance has never been something I can hold for long.
I'm sick of needing to be in control.
It's time for someone to force me, to let me go.
I want to not exist.
There's an itch.
I like it there.
**** this.
Take me.
I'm no longer in control.
I'm going to enjoy playing in my bones.
no date on this one, just random scribbles in one of my notebooks
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