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MariposaYPPoems
She plans, she waits, she is patient Mostly she can be ignored Chained to the wall Kept in the box High on the upper shelf In the back of the room The one with the mind locks She awaits her moment She bides her time She is a creature of opportunity To seek the vulnerable space in  heart and mind But her whispers break through the bonds A litany, a cycle, on repeat "Why would anyone ever want you? What makes you think you're so special? What makes you think yourself worthy...      of time      of space      of thought      of love You're not smart You know nothing You've done nothing No accomplishments that matter Never an original thought Never an original sin How could you possibly believe anyone would let you in? They're just being nice They're just bored They'll disappear when someone interesting comes along You don't matter You're not special You are nothing Don't even bother Don't even try Don't say anything Don't do anything Know you're place (see, you can't even use the right "your", stupid little girl") Stay in YOUR place Don't take the risk Don't believe they actually want to      talk to you      share time      or space      or body with you You know you're too dumb, too slow, too fat, too dull Why try to kid yourself..." on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on ... White noise over the quiet parts of the loudest songs Until I buckle and become ensnared As her shadow covers and envelopes And knocks me off my feet And kicks me when I'm down Pummeled, crying in the corner of my my mind I reach out blindly for reassurance Someone somewhere somehow I know, I know, I know, I know, I know But she's taken over She's in control She knows which way to go To make her point and become enfleshed She's been watching She knows where to strike She's found the softest part of my underbelly She's been sharpening her strongest knife The place without much solid ground It's tenuous, it's new, it's risk The place where the wild things grow And she strikes, sinks claws in deep Sends a message across space and time When I know better than to cross that line Not the right time to ask,      not fair      not needed      the exact opposite, in fact And you, bless your heart, you don't engage Leave me alone on that stage Let me fight this monster of mine I'll thank you for that another time She wants be lost and alone. This monster who took over my phone And said truths better left alone She likes making a fool of me Exposing my vulnerability But see, I know she lies to me I know she's wrong I know she's naught but the expression of weakness in me This is why she lives in the mind-locked room, top corner, back of the shelf So I rest, regroup, refresh, relax Find my own way out of the darkness Back to my meandering path Turn focus on the things I KNOW And give the rest some space to grow I know I'm smart, and deep, and clever      (But, yes, I am a little slow) I know that I know nothing      (And I know that knowing I know nothing is something to know) I know that I've done a lot, been a lot, accomplished a lot      (And I know the past is naught but experience to color my choices in the future) I know that I exist and therefore I am special      (A lot of crazy impossibilities aligned to bring me here today, and that makes me special...just like the rest of the plants and animals filling this reality) And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know that people wouldn't      talk to me      share time      share space      share thought with me if they didn't want to So why worry about it?      (Snaps the chain around her neck) Why push?     (Puts her box back on the shelf) Why stay on solid ground?     (Turns the key on the mind-locked door) I know I like to tread quicksand
0
Jul 12, 2019
Jul 12, 2019 at 11:33 AM UTC
a monster attacks
She plans, she waits, she is patient Mostly she can be ignored Chained to the wall Kept in the box High on the upper shelf In the back of the room The one with the mind locks She awaits her moment She bides her time She is a creature of opportunity To seek the vulnerable space in  heart and mind But her whispers break through the bonds A litany, a cycle, on repeat "Why would anyone ever want you? What makes you think you're so special? What makes you think yourself worthy...      of time      of space      of thought      of love You're not smart You know nothing You've done nothing No accomplishments that matter Never an original thought Never an original sin How could you possibly believe anyone would let you in? They're just being nice They're just bored They'll disappear when someone interesting comes along You don't matter You're not special You are nothing Don't even bother Don't even try Don't say anything Don't do anything Know you're place (see, you can't even use the right "your", stupid little girl") Stay in YOUR place Don't take the risk Don't believe they actually want to      talk to you      share time      or space      or body with you You know you're too dumb, too slow, too fat, too dull Why try to kid yourself..." on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on ... White noise over the quiet parts of the loudest songs Until I buckle and become ensnared As her shadow covers and envelopes And knocks me off my feet And kicks me when I'm down Pummeled, crying in the corner of my my mind I reach out blindly for reassurance Someone somewhere somehow I know, I know, I know, I know, I know But she's taken over She's in control She knows which way to go To make her point and become enfleshed She's been watching She knows where to strike She's found the softest part of my underbelly She's been sharpening her strongest knife The place without much solid ground It's tenuous, it's new, it's risk The place where the wild things grow And she strikes, sinks claws in deep Sends a message across space and time When I know better than to cross that line Not the right time to ask,      not fair      not needed      the exact opposite, in fact And you, bless your heart, you don't engage Leave me alone on that stage Let me fight this monster of mine I'll thank you for that another time She wants be lost and alone. This monster who took over my phone And said truths better left alone She likes making a fool of me Exposing my vulnerability But see, I know she lies to me I know she's wrong I know she's naught but the expression of weakness in me This is why she lives in the mind-locked room, top corner, back of the shelf So I rest, regroup, refresh, relax Find my own way out of the darkness Back to my meandering path Turn focus on the things I KNOW And give the rest some space to grow I know I'm smart, and deep, and clever      (But, yes, I am a little slow) I know that I know nothing      (And I know that knowing I know nothing is something to know) I know that I've done a lot, been a lot, accomplished a lot      (And I know the past is naught but experience to color my choices in the future) I know that I exist and therefore I am special      (A lot of crazy impossibilities aligned to bring me here today, and that makes me special...just like the rest of the plants and animals filling this reality) And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know that people wouldn't      talk to me      share time      share space      share thought with me if they didn't want to So why worry about it?      (Snaps the chain around her neck) Why push?     (Puts her box back on the shelf) Why stay on solid ground?     (Turns the key on the mind-locked door) I know I like to tread quicksand
PSA - Don't text drunk, high, or insecure
Written by
MariposaYP
F/My head
Jul 12, 2019
Jul 12, 2019 at 11:33 AM UTC
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