I woke in the darkness full of words
primal, deep, true, real
A lioness hunting on the savannah
I reveled in them, letting the words wash over me
Arranging themselves in luscious imagery
Then, sunlight peaked around the curtain
The animals needed feeding
The fridge, cleaning
The dishes, washing
The clothes, folding
Finally, I find a moment, sit
Release the words to the page
Only the poem had become domestic
Edited, cleaned, folded, scrubbed down
It was cute, a cuddly housecat with a bell
Pleasant on it's own for sure
A hint of tooth and claw remain
But forever locked deep inside
Remains the caged beast of the night
Oct 6, 2020
Oct 6, 2020 at 10:47 AM UTC
Builds
Stores
Lays in stasis
Collects pressure
Coiled spring
Requires purpose to be released
But dissipates when left fallow
Jan 28, 2020
Jan 28, 2020 at 11:31 PM UTC
Clouds break open
Unexpected rain covers sunrise
Soft and wet
Morning kisses
Tiny droplets
Warm snowflakes
Dot my glasses
Dampen my clothes
As in solitude I wander
Dance and spin
Enjoy the fragrance of rainfall
The shine on the ground
Little birds flying by
Beautiful day begins in morning rain
Sep 16, 2019
Sep 16, 2019 at 10:50 AM UTC
Board the train, like anytime
Sit and watch the world go by
Today a car dodged a gate
Trusting to the whim of fate
Gamble taken, dice were thrown
An unknown person lost their life
Someone's family, husband, lover, wife...?
Off the train, a limbo crowd
Nowhere to go, elsewhere to be
All concerned with affairs their own
Inconvenienced, frustrated, and annoyed
Me? Reflecting I climbed a tree, I think and mourn
I saw the paramedics walk away
Cycle, circle, ending chapter of a life
Today is just another day
I wish had gone a different way
Jul 22, 2019
Jul 22, 2019 at 12:15 PM UTC
Outside on a summer morning
Await arrival of the train
Gentle stretching in the sunshine
Wakes my spine and quiets my brain
Serene, soft, tonal beats drift in my ears
Nourish me, in heart and soul
Ready now to receive this day
I release all pretense of control
Jul 22, 2019
Jul 22, 2019 at 10:52 AM UTC
She plans, she waits, she is patient
Mostly she can be ignored
Chained to the wall
Kept in the box
High on the upper shelf
In the back of the room
The one with the mind locks
She awaits her moment
She bides her time
She is a creature of opportunity
To seek the vulnerable space in heart and mind
But her whispers break through the bonds
A litany, a cycle, on repeat
"Why would anyone ever want you?
What makes you think you're so special?
What makes you think yourself worthy...
of time
of space
of thought
of love
You're not smart
You know nothing
You've done nothing
No accomplishments that matter
Never an original thought
Never an original sin
How could you possibly believe anyone would let you in?
They're just being nice
They're just bored
They'll disappear when someone interesting comes along
You don't matter
You're not special
You are nothing
Don't even bother
Don't even try
Don't say anything
Don't do anything
Know you're place (see, you can't even use the right "your", stupid little girl")
Stay in YOUR place
Don't take the risk
Don't believe they actually want to
talk to you
share time
or space
or body with you
You know you're too dumb, too slow, too fat, too dull
Why try to kid yourself..."
on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on ...
White noise over the quiet parts of the loudest songs
Until I buckle and become ensnared
As her shadow covers and envelopes
And knocks me off my feet
And kicks me when I'm down
Pummeled, crying in the corner of my my mind
I reach out blindly for reassurance
Someone somewhere somehow
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
But she's taken over
She's in control
She knows which way to go
To make her point and become enfleshed
She's been watching
She knows where to strike
She's found the softest part of my underbelly
She's been sharpening her strongest knife
The place without much solid ground
It's tenuous, it's new, it's risk
The place where the wild things grow
And she strikes, sinks claws in deep
Sends a message across space and time
When I know better than to cross that line
Not the right time to ask,
not fair
not needed
the exact opposite, in fact
And you, bless your heart, you don't engage
Leave me alone on that stage
Let me fight this monster of mine
I'll thank you for that another time
She wants be lost and alone.
This monster who took over my phone
And said truths better left alone
She likes making a fool of me
Exposing my vulnerability
But see, I know she lies to me
I know she's wrong
I know she's naught but the expression of weakness in me
This is why she lives in the mind-locked room, top corner, back of the shelf
So I rest, regroup, refresh, relax
Find my own way out of the darkness
Back to my meandering path
Turn focus on the things I KNOW
And give the rest some space to grow
I know I'm smart, and deep, and clever
(But, yes, I am a little slow)
I know that I know nothing
(And I know that knowing I know nothing is something to know)
I know that I've done a lot, been a lot, accomplished a lot
(And I know the past is naught but experience to color my choices in the future)
I know that I exist and therefore I am special
(A lot of crazy impossibilities aligned to bring me here today, and that makes me special...just like the rest of the plants and animals filling this reality)
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know that people wouldn't
talk to me
share time
share space
share thought
with me if they didn't want to
So why worry about it?
(Snaps the chain around her neck)
Why push?
(Puts her box back on the shelf)
Why stay on solid ground?
(Turns the key on the mind-locked door)
I know I like to tread quicksand
Jul 12, 2019
Jul 12, 2019 at 11:33 AM UTC
I
I am
I am, why am I?
I am, why am I, am I?
I am light
I am me
Why I am I who am
One ever why ever wherever
I am, am I?
Yes! I am me
Inside am, outside am
Inside out, outside in
Elsewise why else?
Sitting feeling selfing
I who am
One I am, all I am
Still I am
Ever I am
Jul 11, 2019
Jul 11, 2019 at 10:02 PM UTC