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cyndi4uPoems
I feel my arms go cold The thoughts in my head fold "Oh no, not again, I just want it all to end I feel it on my neck A cool and heavy breath The white all melts to red There's buzzing in my head Infernal whispers in my ear I want to run away from here I wish I hadn't missed my meds Forever haunted to all ends A sense of dread washes over me I should be over it, but I'm not free Even though it's only been a year I thought I wouldn't still have the fear I close my eyes I can still see them I cover my ears they whisper I’m red I plug my ears I can still hear them I can still see them Why still Things are different I have my friend's support I tried to escape the torrent All of my effort I have Quetiapine For whatever that's worth I try to leave the scene From then on and since forth I have experience and I'm always trying The ----ing inconvenience I have ways of coping But it all feels the same It just feels the same It's still red It's still black It's still a burden on my back It's still a conch shell A wave of fear It's still a tickle in my ear It's still a void staring at me with piercing white eyes God, I want to get free those eyes the only thing white in the world Like a horrifying play, it's about to unfurl I hold my head I hold my heart I lie in bed Afraid to depart I want to cry I really do I can't explain why I can't seem to Maybe it's because I like it Some part of me does I really hate but I admit it I wish it never ever was A misplaced giggle A twisted smile in my head A love of edges A want for the blazing red It's a part of my brain That I just can't constrain Makes me feel like I'm crazy I can't be insane I got things to create A life to live A tested fate A want to give But it nags Oh it nags They say a laugh is the truest form of communication Well, what if it's true? What if that laugh you heard Was me through and through? I really must fight it The laugh and the grin The red in my head Can't escape from within I know it's wrong It doesn't though Its twisted song Stopped at my throat It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me I don't want to be red So I guess I'll be Black
0
May 15, 2019
May 15, 2019 at 12:02 AM UTC
B L A C K
I feel my arms go cold The thoughts in my head fold "Oh no, not again, I just want it all to end I feel it on my neck A cool and heavy breath The white all melts to red There's buzzing in my head Infernal whispers in my ear I want to run away from here I wish I hadn't missed my meds Forever haunted to all ends A sense of dread washes over me I should be over it, but I'm not free Even though it's only been a year I thought I wouldn't still have the fear I close my eyes I can still see them I cover my ears they whisper I’m red I plug my ears I can still hear them I can still see them Why still Things are different I have my friend's support I tried to escape the torrent All of my effort I have Quetiapine For whatever that's worth I try to leave the scene From then on and since forth I have experience and I'm always trying The ----ing inconvenience I have ways of coping But it all feels the same It just feels the same It's still red It's still black It's still a burden on my back It's still a conch shell A wave of fear It's still a tickle in my ear It's still a void staring at me with piercing white eyes God, I want to get free those eyes the only thing white in the world Like a horrifying play, it's about to unfurl I hold my head I hold my heart I lie in bed Afraid to depart I want to cry I really do I can't explain why I can't seem to Maybe it's because I like it Some part of me does I really hate but I admit it I wish it never ever was A misplaced giggle A twisted smile in my head A love of edges A want for the blazing red It's a part of my brain That I just can't constrain Makes me feel like I'm crazy I can't be insane I got things to create A life to live A tested fate A want to give But it nags Oh it nags They say a laugh is the truest form of communication Well, what if it's true? What if that laugh you heard Was me through and through? I really must fight it The laugh and the grin The red in my head Can't escape from within I know it's wrong It doesn't though Its twisted song Stopped at my throat It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me I don't want to be red So I guess I'll be Black
My second poem in the RED series. This one might add more confusion into the already confusing ideas and narrative, so I guess if for whatever reason you're trying to decipher my ramblings I'm sorry.
#red#confusion#paper#black#void#scared#afraid#blood#headache
cyndi4u
Written by
cyndi4u
F/An unending sea of agony
May 15, 2019
May 15, 2019 at 12:02 AM UTC
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