I am so tired of this constant leak.
This dripping, pathetic leak of wanting.
Wanting, wanting, wanting like a dog
at a locked door that doesn’t even have a handle.
It is an insult to be this alive and this weak.
It is a sickness in the marrow.
I want to rip the "need" out of my throat.
I want to rip the "yearning" out of my chest.
I want to rip every single soft thought out of my head
and set them on fire just to watch them scream.
Why am I a slave to a pulse?
Why am I a vessel for this hollow, aching thing?
I hate the air because it feels like a ghost of them.
I hate the light because it shows me I’m alone.
I hate the silence because it’s a megaphone
shouting their name into every corner of my skull.
Again and again and again and again.
A hammer hitting the same raw nerve.
It’s pathetic. It’s disgusting. It’s a joke.
I am supposed to be a fortress of iron and spite,
but here I am, shaking like a leaf over a memory.
Forget the heart. Forget the love. Forget the hope.
I want to be a void. I want to be a stone.
I want to be anything but this desperate,
panting
thing.
I am done.
I am so done with the hunger.
Stop the clock. Stop the blood.
Just let me be empty for one second
without the ghost of a feeling trying to claw its way in.
Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out.
Just get out.
Mar 17
Mar 17, 2026 at 1:20 PM UTC
I am so tired of this constant leak.
This dripping, pathetic leak of wanting.
Wanting, wanting, wanting like a dog
at a locked door that doesn’t even have a handle.
It is an insult to be this alive and this weak.
It is a sickness in the marrow.
I want to rip the "need" out of my throat.
I want to rip the "yearning" out of my chest.
I want to rip every single soft thought out of my head
and set them on fire just to watch them scream.
Why am I a slave to a pulse?
Why am I a vessel for this hollow, aching thing?
I hate the air because it feels like a ghost of them.
I hate the light because it shows me I’m alone.
I hate the silence because it’s a megaphone
shouting their name into every corner of my skull.
Again and again and again and again.
A hammer hitting the same raw nerve.
It’s pathetic. It’s disgusting. It’s a joke.
I am supposed to be a fortress of iron and spite,
but here I am, shaking like a leaf over a memory.
Forget the heart. Forget the love. Forget the hope.
I want to be a void. I want to be a stone.
I want to be anything but this desperate,
panting
thing.
I am done.
I am so done with the hunger.
Stop the clock. Stop the blood.
Just let me be empty for one second
without the ghost of a feeling trying to claw its way in.
Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out.
Just get out.
written from one of my OC's pov
