And suddenly,
I couldn’t move.
All I knew
Was that I needed you.
But whatever I’m drowning in
Is heavier than my sins
They won’t hear a sound
As I sink down
I can only pray to hit the bottom
A quiet, private asylum
Dec 11, 2016
Dec 11, 2016 at 11:47 AM UTC
I have a rubber band ball snapping apart in the inside of my heart
And in my mouth, hitting clinched teeth
Being full of screams
Their vibrations tumble down
And I can feel each and every sound
They pull on my veins
And play them like guitar strings
They tingle the scars
Each one lighting up like stars
They ring like church bells
The sound unavoidable
They sing a lullaby
‘Scream and cry, scream and cry
Don’t you want to die
It’s not easy to say goodbye
Isn’t that why you lie?
Break the ties
Muffle your cries
Turn all of your screams to sighs
The anxiety will be over
It’s just a lullaby'
Dec 3, 2016
Dec 3, 2016 at 3:18 PM UTC
I hear voices down the hall
I called, and I called,
But they let me fall.
They said they didn't know me at all
I hear the voices now from far away
Are they in my head or here to stay?
If I am quiet
They won't hear my body sway
Away, away.
Nov 16, 2016
Nov 16, 2016 at 1:53 PM UTC
Never had I understood
How powerful words were
Until they came from you
Sticks and stones may shatter the bones
But your words filled their very marrow
They made me whole
I am calcified, unable to move,
Despite of the actions I know that are done by you
But my bones,
They cannot move.
Nov 16, 2016
Nov 16, 2016 at 1:50 PM UTC
I use to dream about jumping on trains and riding away
But now I know how slow they go
I would run for miles so fast
So I could let my thoughts slow
I’ve always looked for something quick to take me or save me
Maybe that’s why I gave so many people my heart
And walked away
So pieces of my soul are moving everywhere
Even though my body has to stay.
But now I’m leaving the city
In only a few days
To a small, quiet place
Where the heart doesn’t fit
A loving coup de grace
I could stand on a grassy hill
And scream for my home
But the air here stands still
Here, I am alone.
A city doesn’t hear such pleas
When sound only projects out
So city, please.
Remember me.
Nov 3, 2016
Nov 3, 2016 at 5:47 PM UTC
Spring comes with screams of anguish
Because it is much easier to die
Than to come alive again
Nov 3, 2016
Nov 3, 2016 at 5:37 PM UTC
Between me and you
This situation is dire,
This letter a cry for ceasefire
You wrapped my heart in wire, tripwire
I tried to walk away but it snapped, it set me on fire
What I would have given to have never tasted desire
Of a falsifier like The Killer’s messiah
My daddy doesn’t love me anymore
Because religion and I had a war
And I left out his front door
But you, I idealized you up on a pedestal
No wonder your love was inaccessible
And I was expendable
You seem to think I can handle silence
My mind is sounding sirens, sounding sirens
Do you read this and think compliance?
But I see you in corners of mirrors
In the faces of the drinkers
And in the reflection of liquors
Your name on the tail of their whispers
God I swear everything here is a trigger
And you’re the killer
I’m not better than her
Or any of the others
What do you smoke more of?
Cigarettes or your lovers?
Nov 3, 2016
Nov 3, 2016 at 5:36 PM UTC
I remember
Sitting in that booth
Across from you
And knowing that I loved you.
Even though we hadn’t kissed
In over a year
Only brief embraces because
Our skin wasn’t each other’s
To touch anymore
I can’t even remember what we talked about
But what I know what we didn’t talk about
Our conversations tailored to fit around
The grievances
I only recall hiding behind my napkin
Because I had bit off more than I could chew
Just like when I fell in love with you
Soon we will be back in some booth
I’ll order water and coffee
Just like I always do
And I hope you remember
That I love you.
Nov 3, 2016
Nov 3, 2016 at 5:31 PM UTC
Soon
A memory of what you once thought you wanted
Right now
The memories keep following me like I’m haunted
Maybe
It was because it was only you who loved me when I felt unwanted
Really
Between you and me there is no one in this to blame
Because
All you and I do is play these pretty sounding word games
In the end
It didn’t fix the silence between us
that always came
Nov 3, 2016
Nov 3, 2016 at 5:27 PM UTC
When I was young I use to slap myself when my chubby fingers pressed one piano key too low
I would dig fingernails into my arm after each missed catch or askew throw
Because everyone cried at being loved by God I would think of my dead cat to squeeze out a few tears, so the fact that I didn’t have a God wouldn’t show
I wasn’t a sick kid
I was just a tree
that didn’t know how to lose its leaves
I couldn’t seem to slap or dig the mistakes out
so I dug out happiness from my skin
Stretched it out thin like many strings on a violin
and attached it to my shirt with a couple of safety pins
Letting people try to strum and make some music
but the tune of my strings didn’t ring smooth and therapeutic
and they ended up only giving me bruises
And even though the little girl has grown
she just continues to hold dead leaves
of mistakes she can’t seem to let go
Nothing new can grow
just more lines on the bark of her skin
years have, and will pass like this
and she will continue to become hollower within
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 12:55 AM UTC