Your heart has grown cold,
This love is bad for my health.
I felt rejected, felt unwanted, felt unneeded so I,
Wrote a love letter to myself.
Feb 27, 2021
Feb 27, 2021 at 6:01 PM UTC
I think it’s me,
I think I smile recklessly.
I think I need to see,
The scars on their knees.
I think I need to be,
Two steps ahead in the lead.
And then I need to you to be,
The one to sweep me off of my feet.
Yeah I want you bring me to my knees,
I need you to disrespect me,
I crave for you to hurt me,
So that I have to work for you to want me.
And then you can have me,
And then im all yours.
Jan 15, 2020
Jan 15, 2020 at 5:24 PM UTC
A week ago you held my body,
as you soundly slept with your arms around me.
A week ago while you rested your eyes,
I whispered "I love you" in silent lullabies.
Three days ago you made your confession,
with piercing words and an apologetic expression.
You drunkenly stumbled into the bed,
of a girl you'd promised was just a friend.
So tonight I drank so that I was too drunk for the party,
and spent the night wishing you would show up and fight for me.
But as always I was left disappointed,
Despite how I know that waiting for you is pointless.
So I’m on my way home now,
And this empty cab is really getting to me.
I got used to you sitting beside me,
Too used to your body molding around me.
So now I’m calling your number,
Far too many times.
Don’t know what I'm hoping,
For you to stay the night then in the morning I’m broken?
I keep repeating how you ****** it,
I keep repeating how you lied to me.
I keep repeating you shared the taxi home,
I keep repeating how you hid it all from me.
So now I’m blocking your number,
And you’re deleting our messages.
Too late for me to save them,
And too late for you to save this.
Nov 22, 2019
Nov 22, 2019 at 8:22 PM UTC
You’re not my fairytale ending person,
You’re my im drunk and I shouldn’t text him person.
Youre the person I see instead when im thinking of him,
Because when I start hurting you are what numbs it.
You’re not on my mind like he always is.
You are what I take to numb my pain.
And I know its ****** to do this to you.
That’s why part of me’s hoping you do it too.
You make me feel wanted,
You make me feel good.
You make me feel all these things he never would.
Thats why youre so **** good at what you do,
Why you’re so **** good at numbing me.
Thats why I text you when Im hurting from him,
Cause you make me forget that he didn’t want me,
And that’s the temporary relief that I need.
In the morning I’ll be fine,
I’ll wake with no scars.
But you won’t be lying beside me,
And I’ll still wake with an empty heart.
Nov 9, 2019
Nov 9, 2019 at 4:37 PM UTC
I left you one year ago,
You hurt me and so I let you go,
I thought that we had moved passed it though.
But you make it so hard to forget,
It ***** cause you know how to get,
Your words so deep in my head.
You know deep down what im like,
You know I’d never hurt you in spite,
But you say it so that what it sounds like.
Twist my words to mean something else,
Manipulate what I said myself,
Do you know or are you lying to yourself.
Don’t act like I did it easily,
You know know this wasn’t easy for me,
And if you don’t then you never knew me.
Aug 18, 2019
Aug 18, 2019 at 4:55 PM UTC
We both agreed that ending it was for the best,
Because sometimes the inevitable becomes unavoidable.
I repeated this to myself thirty times last night,
Yet my blind faith in us still prevailed.
The wind was the sound of your tyres on my drive,
The rain was your tears as you apologised greatly.
The night was a metaphor for how blind you were,
And the light by my front door was your guiding star.
But here I am,
There you are.
170 miles between us,
That pushed us apart.
The wind is empty,
And the rain is cold.
The night is black,
And my front door is closed.
But were you somehow to wonder,
In the midst of the night.
And find yourself by my door,
Would it be from my front door light?
Aug 5, 2019
Aug 5, 2019 at 7:40 AM UTC
She smiles so softly,
it's like a ghost.
You can't really see it,
but still you feel like it's there.
And her eyes emit emotion,
but like that of steamer.
The more it lets out,
the more unclear everything becomes.
Her walk is always silent,
in a fashion similar to a cat.
Because there's a constant indecisiveness,
between confidence and concealment.
Her heart is unique however,
it holds no resemblance to anything else.
But sometimes it'll be compared to a distant whisper,
because although you're aware of its existence, you don't know what it is that that it holds.
Jun 2, 2019
Jun 2, 2019 at 6:08 PM UTC
It’s been the longest month,
Missing you.
My heart seemed to grow,
Fonder despite my distance from you.
Seeing you here again,
Fills my body with ecstasy.
But I have to play the role of the friend,
As I don’t know if you’re ready for me.
And I wish that I could be someone else,
Someone who has the courage to tell you.
To tell you that the truth is,
I think I might be falling in love with you.
But I can’t say it,
Now’s not the time,
You’re not ready for it,
I wish that I could read your mind,
But please fool me a little more,
Pretend I stand a chance like I thought before,
Even if you’ll never want me that way,
I’d be nice to think that you might some day.
May 12, 2019
May 12, 2019 at 9:44 AM UTC
I don’t know what to believe,
I don’t know what to feel.
You’ve managed to make me question,
If anything we shared was even real.
I don’t know what to say,
How do I question your darkest secrets?
Made me feel like I was your friend,
But you filled my trust with lies and that's all we have between us.
I don’t know if anything we had was true,
That’s my punishment for trusting you.
One tiny white lie raises doubt,
And it snowballs and makes me wanna push you out.
And I don’t want to hurt you,
I know you’ve got your reasons.
But you’re not someone I can believe in,
And there’s nothing here to stop me from leaving.
So I’m wishing you the best,
I hope you can get help.
But I had to walk away,
Because I owe it to myself.
May 12, 2019
May 12, 2019 at 9:34 AM UTC
here I go I've done it again,
always being my own worst friend.
you did everything right but in the end,
I always go running.
here we go swirling around the drain,
your vibrant parade being drowned out in my rain.
didn't understand why you didn't run away,
so I did the running.
I'm just better off being alone,
I'm so good at breaking hearts that I broke my own.
May 12, 2019
May 12, 2019 at 9:30 AM UTC