i will ruin myself before others do
is the body not a temple?
to desecrate. mar it beyond recognition
is our entirety our physicality?
i would tear it all down
May 21, 2025
May 21, 2025 at 11:31 AM UTC
i sleep.
and dream of lives i i would have given myself over to if they were more than dreams.
but i wake up to less, and less might be more but the more i sleep
the less i dream
Mar 17, 2025
Mar 17, 2025 at 8:45 AM UTC
the tight ball of nerves sitting in my gut
has not left
only you, everything else is white noise
Nov 26, 2023
Nov 26, 2023 at 6:21 AM UTC
of course i dreamt about then
insidious, hazy but now all i smell is
vanilla and it reminds me of a heart
twinge the way it envelops my
sense of self. the hill i would die on is
the hill i ran from, the spiral
downward familiar i
wish you would see me burn
Oct 12, 2023
Oct 12, 2023 at 4:07 PM UTC
she came to me, freezing - and
that grounded me
there, because i could not stop
dreaming
of warmth and its elusivity after
the waking. and i
was glad
for the cold, because i knew it
meant she was real, that she wasn’t
another delusion
Aug 21, 2023
Aug 21, 2023 at 5:07 PM UTC
tempt me near a decade
thought myself Circe’s swine
multiple lives bear multiple aches
to sail is to leave behind
who wants to live forever?
reincarnation, rather
she could ruin every life i’d ever live
just mere pigs on her isle
Apr 3, 2023
Apr 3, 2023 at 1:21 AM UTC
some nights
i am there, flying over words, my brain voiding out the blank worlds it skipped in its impatient race to catch another glimpse of what i saw that night, you knee deep in the water with your eyes lost beyond the horizon when you said this should be enough but it never would be
other nights i am here, crawling over words, trying to get to there.
Feb 18, 2023
Feb 18, 2023 at 4:20 PM UTC
i am selfish, hungry
yearning for what i could never need
that my ego would smother any want in the crib
because i know what i become when
stripped bare, that i lose any sense of self and become an unfaithful anagram of all the things you
love and deplore
Jan 25, 2023
Jan 25, 2023 at 3:20 PM UTC
how did a few nights with you
turn into months of restless sleep?
you haunt my fever dreams,
in them your fingers reach into my mouth
to pull me by the teeth
how are you telling me
that your existence is weightless?
i could drag you down, the way
my own being has dragged me down for as long as i’ve misunderstood its purpose
Oct 15, 2022
Oct 15, 2022 at 9:36 AM UTC
i’ve had them, resting their heads on my chest
listening
listening
listening
to the same ******* beat that my doctor tells me isn’t right, and they think it’s for them.
she slowed it down so well some nights i felt weightless, every ba-thump a microsecond offbeat, my entire being syncopated -
flit.
May 5, 2022
May 5, 2022 at 12:04 PM UTC