We drove in no real direction
on a bitter night in late January.
Me in the passenger seat,
him at the wheel.
"You can say anything to me,"
he said,
as I cried softly in my dark
corner of the car.
"I'm feeling anxious about our relationship,"
I whispered,
exhaling words that only knew the insecurities
of my idle mind.
"How so?"
he wondered,
now sounding a bit anxious himself,
pressing down heavier on the pedal.
I worry we will grow a p a r t,
not together, as time passes,
because we won't be ready for the same things
at the same time,
and I will become impatient as I wait
for you to do your living and growing.
I shrink into my corner,
feeling too vulnerable.
More tears warm my cheeks,
as I fail to steady my trembling breath.
"I wish I met you later."
A confession I never heard before,
but in hearing now,
felt I always knew was there.
We just kept driving,
away from, and towards,
our uncomfortable truth: We are, and always will be, in different places,
at the same time.
Jan 29, 2016
Jan 29, 2016 at 7:39 PM UTC
You might send me flowers,
I might let them die.
This is not a poem,
Valentines day,
**** you,
yep.
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 9, 2014 at 1:39 AM UTC
I push, you pull -
You want more than I can give.
Slow down -
It hurts.
My head is a mess.
I love, you like -
But I cannot pretend.
Just stop -
It hurts.
My heart is a wreck.
I try, you walk -
And I want more than you can give.
Speed up -
It hurts.
My love,
**** you.
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 9, 2014 at 1:35 AM UTC
Slowly, we fade away
into something dim,
but shimmering -
a galaxy of hope,
a black hole of fear -
darkness or light,
it is all the same,
without you
here.
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 9, 2014 at 1:28 AM UTC
You make me feel the way
all the ones before you did.
Scared, like a fool.
I trusted you
with a piece of me,
and you took it and ran -
not away,
but you didn't stay
nearby.
Where do you go
when you disappear,
when my phone doesn't illuminate with
"I'm here," and "I miss you"?
What do you do
when I'm not close by,
when I'm on the East Coast and you're in Misery?
What do you feel
when you're not touching me?
You make me insane,
a wreck,
insecure,
someone that I don't
recognize.
Hold my hand soon,
so I can remember who
I am.
So I can remember who
I am.
So I can remember who
I am.
So I can forget who
I've become
in your absence.
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 9, 2014 at 1:23 AM UTC
"I can't, I have a girlfriend. I'm sorry."
But I pushed him against the brick wall
and I kissed him,
and he kissed me back.
We got our ears pierced together
that warm southern Fall night,
in the city of Mardi Gras beads
and mistakes.
"Let's pretend we just got married."
And I agreed, for the free drinks,
of course.
But I wanted so much more.
We packed up the rental car and drove
three hours to freedom,
ready to hit Bourbon with no expectations,
only free spirits.
And he was not a mistake.
Feb 8, 2014
Feb 8, 2014 at 12:32 AM UTC
I don't want to read love poems
and I don't want to listen to love songs
because they're all about you,
and, with every stanza,
with every chorus,
my heart breaks
a little more.
May 9, 2013
May 9, 2013 at 11:13 AM UTC
you loved her first
you still love her now
and it breaks my heart
because I never quite filled you up
the way she did
your smiles are for her eyes
you laughter for her ears
your happiness and fears
they're all for her
my smiles are gone
my laughter has faded
my happiness is dead, my fears are alive
and I owe it all to you
you liked me once
you don't like me anymore
and it breaks my heart
because I'll never have you
again.
May 9, 2013
May 9, 2013 at 10:45 AM UTC
You crushed me good,
You made it hurt,
And when you said goodbye,
A piece of me died,
And it's a little broken,
but my heart still beats,
And it'll keep healing
until we meet
again.
May 9, 2013
May 9, 2013 at 10:34 AM UTC
I like you like I like gloomy skies,
And saying goodbye,
And snakes,
And dropping my ice cream cone.
And you make me unhappy like that **** does.
I like you like I like the ****** heating in my room,
And waking up too early on a hung-over morning,
And having to work through a headache,
With the constant urge to *****
And you make me feel tired like that **** does.
I like you like I like getting held under the ocean’s current,
And being stuck inside on sunny days,
And not being able to fall asleep at night,
And overanalyzing every interaction with you.
And I like you like I’m losing something.
And I like you like you never should have come along,
Like I haven’t felt this way in a really long time,
Like you keep me down,
Like you’re exactly like all the other guys.
And if I’m being completely honest,
I’ve never met another person as manipulative as you.
I don't want you to think about me like I think about you,
And I don’t want you to like me like I like you,
And I don’t want to share any more of myself with you.
And I knew whatever was going on between us had an expiration date,
But you didn’t even let it spoil before you threw it away.
And I know it wasn’t fair that time wasn’t on our side,
But I didn’t care that I only had a few weeks with you,
Because you were making me feel something good.
And now it hurts,
And I need the ache to dull,
Because it’s starting to **** my shine.
And I don’t want you to forget about me when I’m not there next year,
Or over the summer,
Or even this weekend.
I want you to think of me and always remember the girl that cooked you dinner,
And helped you with your homework,
And gave you more than you deserved.
And I don’t want this anymore,
And I can’t pretend to feel okay,
And I can’t smile around you,
And I can’t apologize for it, and I'm not going to,
Because whether you realize it or not, you hurt me.
And the way I feel about you is so crystal clear,
And now that this has all ended, you can wave sticks and throw stones,
But you can never break my bones.
Apr 15, 2013
Apr 15, 2013 at 11:50 AM UTC