How vain it is
To think me so important
In a world so vast
In a universe so full
I still struggle
With my smallness
By making myself larger
In my mind
By crying about “big” issues
That are but a needle
In the haystack of miseries
Of the earth
And its doomed fields
Of grain
Of people
How vain is it
To look at myself
And think anything
At all
Jan 10
Jan 10, 2026 at 7:39 PM UTC
If I am made to be alone, would that really be such a misery? The most loyal, loving, and supportive man in my life, whom I know I can always rely on, resides more in my heart than on Earth. He is in the ripple of lakes and the veins of leaves. He knows all things, and yet still remembers me. If I am made to be alone with the Creator of all things, would that really be such a misery?
Jan 5
Jan 5, 2026 at 3:13 PM UTC
I am constantly running from sadness
Like it’s a fate worse than death
It’s a beggar trailing behind me
It’s a gambler’s mound of debt
It’s forever looming near
Threatening to overtake my joy
So I fill with many distractions
New friends, new places, new boys
Warm bodies and an empty wallet
A new mountain grief can’t climb
But the more I fill my plate
The less stomach I have to dine
I tell myself I’m getting better
That this fullness means I’m whole
Yet even feasts can starve a body
When the hunger’s in the soul
Yet my calendar stays packed
My hands stay entirely full
My feet just won’t stop running
Can’t resist diversion’s pull
I am constantly running from sadness
Yet it still knows me by name
Wondering if I meet it, will I feel just as empty
Stop running, save my sole, feel exactly the same
Dec 30, 2025
Dec 30, 2025 at 11:10 AM UTC
Patience is a virtue
A sinners heart cannot afford
When I feel God redirect me
I’m still trying locked doors
I’m breaking through windows
Getting trespassed by my sin
Knocking on houses of devils
Waiting for God to let me in
I’m climbing walls and scaling fences
I’m calling for just the dial tone
I’m so comfortable with the rejection
That acceptance never felt like home
Steady my heart, Jesus
Whisper peace into my steps
Let me lie down on Your sidewalk
And in You find my rest
Keep me from running this road
This route that never goes far
Keep me from paying a toll
On a path You didn’t want me to start
Keep me, Lord, keep me
Don’t let me stray from Your grasp
For when I decide my own steps
I tend to fall into my own traps
Fill in me a patience
A heart that waits for my Savior
Let me run only only only
If it’s in the Kingdom’s favor
Nov 30, 2025
Nov 30, 2025 at 10:02 AM UTC
To hope to hope to hope
To die to die to die
Over and over
A million times
To my own mind
And its lack of Christ
I am suffering a symptom of humanity
A hope in things that are not Him
A life I know to be good when faithful
With a quality of faith so paper-thin
And yet here I am, Lord
Fallen at Your feet, again
Make me new, make me good, make me You
Make me Your daughter, Your wife, Your friend
Let me want You in all things
Let me be glad with nothing else
Let me see You in even my rearview
Give me Your love, give me life, treasures I cannot sell
For I am suffering a symptom of humanity
A want, a strive for things that are not You
Make me whole, make me full, make me joyous
Because God, I know I know I know I know
Only You to be truth.
Nov 29, 2025
Nov 29, 2025 at 2:12 PM UTC
a day gets to be a day
and a song gets to be a song
my mind can crawl through memory lane
and my heart won't get dragged along
Jul 17, 2025
Jul 17, 2025 at 1:20 AM UTC
this is the part where i say something romantic
like i rather bear great heartbreak
at your hands
than never be with you at all
but the truth is
i rather live a lifetime of longing
questioning, "what if"
than to really know
the answer
Nov 24, 2023
Nov 24, 2023 at 6:21 PM UTC
he's silver and ivory
a magnet to shine loving eyes
he's a star in his own galaxy
who knows how to bend time
he burns my palms with his brilliance
yet i lavish in the flames
he breathes life with his resilience
and i wish to be the same
he is wrapped in a prayer
i whispered so softly into the night
nothing else can compare
to how it feels to bask in his light
is it passion or fear
or is it the feel of the flames
is he tortured or sincere
a candle, or a fire that can't be tamed
Nov 22, 2023
Nov 22, 2023 at 3:01 AM UTC
Sita smiles as i bring her a sandwich
Two toasts with butter, ham, and cheese
And yet sita smiles as if i've made her a 5 course meal
Sita smiles as i make her a drink of my own recipe
‘Thank you pepe’ she says
And brandishes a glass of mysterious content
She hasn’t tasted it yet
But still she smiles
Sita cheers for me as i run down the soccer field
She’s waiting for me with a hug, even after games i don't play
From the bench
I can see her smile
Sita is waiting in the car i've known my whole life
‘How was school’ she says
Always with a smile
‘I'm coming home Sita’
It's been 2 years since i've seen her
She doesn’t ask when
She doesn't ask how
She smiles
‘I can't come home Sita’
It's the day after the flight i couldn’t get on
She doesn’t ask when i can
She doesn’t ask but I tell her how I missed it
I tell her i love her and will see her soon
She smiles
It's been 3 years since i've seen her
Sita tells me she has cancer
I tell her she's the strongest person i know
I love her
She smiles
‘I promise i’ll fly out to new zealand to see you’
The last time we spoke
She tells me she hates the food there
I think about how i’ll make her a sandwich, like i used to
I tell her it’ll be okay, she’ll be okay
‘I love you Sita, I promise I’ll see you soon’
She doesn’t ask when
She doesn’t ask how
Sita looks at me, the face I’ve known all my life
And she smiles
Aug 6, 2023
Aug 6, 2023 at 2:34 PM UTC
my heart has been beating
a tune that sounds like you
i recognized the music
and snapped my heart in two
i chained it to my chest
drowned it with my tears
made it love someone else
scared it with my fears
and still it beats out its rhythm
though broken and out of tune
still it smiles at your image
and still it loves you
Jun 6, 2022
Jun 6, 2022 at 2:57 AM UTC