When you are not near me
I question where you are.
When your messages do not find me until late
where are they going?
Do they find a home with someone else?
Or do they stay safe with you?
When you are not here
staring at me with those golden caramel eyes
I can't help but wonder
where else they might be.
Do they stay on one path?
or do they wander the world
hungry with curiosity?
Oct 15, 2017
Oct 15, 2017 at 10:33 PM UTC
He yells & screams at me.
Though he is not my father.
He tells me I've fallen behind in this world. That I won't make it.
Though he is not my maker.
He tells my mother that she hasn't been good enough. That her child will not ever come of anything.
Though he is a childless man.
He tells me that is all my fault & doing that my life is the way it is.
Though he has never proven to be the man a father figure should be.
He has tried to hit my mother & I several times.
Though he has never once in his life experienced that abuse.
He tells me to grow up.
Though I have never seen a bigger child.
Sep 24, 2015
Sep 24, 2015 at 8:58 PM UTC
My family always questions my relationship status as though it determines the person I am.
My mom believes I am too independent and headstrong.
My stepdad thinks it's because I don't socialize with enough people and I don't get out of the house.
But, no one really knows the truth hidden in these walls.
No one in my home truly understands.
All of my family has carried a set of higher goals for me than I really ever had for myself. I have always been told,
"Hannah, I hope and pray you find the perfect man in your life that treats you right and loves you for you."
What if that person wasn't a man?
Would it be the same? Would I fulfill the hopes and dreams they have always wished for me?
Unfortunately, the little girl that they have always cherished would never be seen through the same eyes.
Because loving the same *** is against the bible and everything they have ever believed in.
So therefore, it would never be right. I would always be wrong in the eyes of my loved ones and my so called creator.
While I did not find someone who matched the perfect image everyone has set for me, I did find what was perfect for me.
I found someone with my sense of humor and my beliefs.
I found someone who loves me for all of my curves and personal battle wounds.
I found someone who took me out of the darkness and into the light, showing me a whole new world.
This person became a part of my motivation to success and apart of a new forever.
I would have never thought I would experience such a love in this forsaken world.
So, mom, I found someone.. You don't have to worry anymore.
I fell in love and I am the happiest I have ever been.
I'll just never be able to tell you.
Sep 19, 2015
Sep 19, 2015 at 12:04 AM UTC
I'm not the same person I once was, hate to break it to you. I'm stronger now, more than I have ever been.
I'm not so insecure, nor am I skittish and frightened by others. I can see through lies and I can read between the lines of even the best of con-artist. Jokes on you, I'm not so easily tricked anymore.
The wool can't be pulled over my eyes the way it could have been before. I no longer fall for the sweet charm of a snake, so if you know what's best for you.. Try your cards on another soul who can play the string puppet to your game of ignorance and stupidity.
Jul 29, 2015
Jul 29, 2015 at 1:14 PM UTC
Playing in the dirt, not a worry about our shirts or our skirts.
Building pillow towers, Wasting away our hours pretending we were wizards With great power.
Slaying the bad guys and winning the noble prize.
That's the way things used to be, when happiness was key..
But now we waste our time, only being mimes.
All of us fake and conniving like snakes.
Sneaking around bringing others down.
Only wanting fame and a crowned name.
Rotting at the very core all because you couldn't open your own door.
But this is Life As We Know It.
Nov 17, 2013
Nov 17, 2013 at 7:28 PM UTC
Dangerous I may be, Sadly this is only the half of me.
I unfurl my wings wishing I looked like a king but instead I carry around a ******** wings.
With this beast inside, even I found I have no where to hide.
No one realizes that I'm just like the others. I have a mother and I have a brother.
But still I'm seen like the wolverine. All claws and jaws.
Ive tried and tried, but I sadly only found myself tied and set aside.
Theres no where left for me i'm here on my knees begging for someone to pick up the pieces.
I am destruction and there will never be construction.
My mind and soul have been slammed and jammed for I am the ******
There is no where left for me.
Oct 23, 2013
Oct 23, 2013 at 6:02 AM UTC
Good night. Don't let the bed bugs bite.
I promise there is a light. Just close your eyes and things will be alright.
Sleep and dream of somewhere out of sight like the movies that are black and white.
When you go to sleep tonight ill hold you tight.
I promise things will be alright. Know that i'm forever yours tonight.
Oct 19, 2013
Oct 19, 2013 at 9:46 PM UTC
Like a lion I seem So brave, But inside i feel like I'm in a cave.
My "Confidence" roars It almost seems as if I'm ready for war.
But sadly enough, I'm not tough.
Strong i may seem, But I'm tearing apart at the seams.
You have to agree, Showing the real me would only cause people misery.
So i hide so no one can see my insides.
Like a eagle i want to soar, but i always run into a door.
Trapping myself in a cage, only building up rage.
Like lion I seem brave.
Sep 10, 2013
Sep 10, 2013 at 11:25 AM UTC
You swallow down that pill. As if you were taking your life uphill.
Heart beating fast, Oh how the hours have passed.
Slurping down a glass is as easy as breathing in laughing gas.
One pass, its so easy right? Sure. it don't take muscle mass.
That life you once knew, that you once had hoped had grew,
Is now a sinking ship, but at the moment that sudden rush was such a wonderful trip.
Here you stand, on a single strand.
All just for that night of fun, to feel like you took a mile run.
Was it really worth it? would you really recommend it?
Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013 at 11:56 PM UTC
Pain.
Some say it's all in the brain.
But for some reason it all comes around again.
On the heart it just leaves a stain.
Sometimes its just hard to explain.
Controlling it is hard to maintain.
Some Lead themselves to ******* and champagne.
While others let themselves go insane.
Pain just drains the brain.
Some find the pain as just a gain.
People just want their own happiness to obtain.
Pain Is like carrying a ball and chain.
Weighing heavy on the soul and brain.
Pain.
Is there really ever anything to gain?
Jul 28, 2013
Jul 28, 2013 at 8:09 PM UTC