Go ahead and call me fake
Tell me how much you think I hurt you
But don't for a second think you aren't a petty liar
Don't you dare think you didn't ruin your own relationship
And for the love of God, leave me the hell alone
Because you know **** well you can't fix what you broke
Nov 24, 2016
Nov 24, 2016 at 11:01 PM UTC
You're so pretty
They're lying
I know
I'm so self confident
No you aren't
I'm almost pompous
I thought you hated yourself
My confidence lies in my appearance
Rarely
But not usually in my actions
You hate everything you do
A persona
A lie
A poser, if you will
Oh, but none of that matters when you say you love yourself
The thoughts are passing
Intrusive
*Just a bit of anxiety*
I wish you could see how it feels
It's not the normal self hate
Not when you pretend
So surprise, my friends
You're queen is living a lie
And once you've read this
She'll pretend it never happened
May 23, 2016
May 23, 2016 at 10:01 PM UTC
...
I like to convince myself that she's a walking solar system.
(One)
(It will never be enough;)
She has the sunken cheek bones of Mercury;
~filthy shadows, caked in crimes~
they forge her face,
oh so well,
and engrave her smile in
stone; the sun
laughs sourly,
and then,
he spits on her.
(Two)
(Because sorrow is a sweet thing.)
She reminds me of Venus the most.
Her hair is the murmur of violet,
her beauty, it lingers,
~like cigarettes beyond the boundary~
the cosmos, the constellations, and the milky way.
She is my dragon princess,
draped in stars and wounds.
She bleeds
the somber color of night.
She is royal, yet alas
*"The queen didn't come
without a crumbling castle.*
(Three)
(So take it in, don't hold your breath)
Beneath the arc of her spine;
Is where Earth plays
poker with her bones.
It's such a shame,
that her ace is her 'unkempt heart,'
and she lost it to a pitiful bet,
with a certain ghost I once knew.
(Four)
(The bottom's all I've found.)
Her fingers gouge through time's fabric, and her hands
remind me of Mars;
Powerful and ******
Oblivious to what she's created;
I'm afraid
the phantom
she wishes so dearly to see,
is only getting hungrier.
(Five)
(Diamond wings were meant to be torn)
Jupiter is the core of her anxiety,
and she basks in it every day,
never by choice, never by desire.
Muscles and skin of iron and goldenrod,
they carve out our very own Aphrodite,
which is you,
it's always been you.
A rabid angel,
a calamity of chaos,
frothing with blackened fear.
(Six)
(Spill every flower from your garden of thoughts)
Subtle depression lurks between the
the crooked sea of her ribcage,
it's Saturn smoking rings,
brewin' up the cinders.
~I reminiscence in the white lace~
of the cobwebs that hold her
heart together.
I've plucked them,
those strings play a mournful
sonata, with her name written all over it.
(Seven)
(Promises bend at every funeral we attend)
In the graces of her palms we found Uranus,
like teal teeth
and whimsical witchcraft,
I watched her thread magic into this world.
Her hopes shift-shape into 'nocturnal fairies',
and 'grim reapers' with broken music boxes.
She is naïve, but that is
a trait she needs to survive
in our world of
metallic dreams and navy nightmares.
(Eight)
(Rejection is a survivable heartache)
And so what if her heart reminded me
of Neptune the most?
The royal vastness
of blue and ivory;
~riptides on the walls of her soul~
I want her to know that ambitions
leave more scars and
tear more crystal flesh;
than her polished wishes ever will.
(Nine)
(Have you ever seen blood and water in love?)
And her lungs,
they remind me of the honesty of Pluto.
So small, and docile,
like an elliptical smile of grey fire.
Would you lay with me a while,
count your unconditional lovers;
like our burnt stars in mason jars?
Struggle is the birth
of the void and the 'rapture'
~Your king and poet will wait for you,
in the radiant abyss of our ink-hearts~
*I will guide you to his open arms,
a hug awaits my dragon princess.*
*He wears the stars for clothes,
like an outlaw,
among the banks of the universe.
Where disease can't reach him, or she,
Cancer can't harm you anymore,*
"Not anymore, Belle."
...
Apr 23, 2016
Apr 23, 2016 at 12:25 AM UTC
...
1. Can someone
anyone,
please,
teach me,
how
to stop the running
of blood
from a wound?
2. I don't like
the way
your body
wears red;
it's a warm
stain
I can't seem to
wash
from your cotton clothes
or
my porcelain mind.
3. Your kindness; I have never realized
that it was it's
very own
sort
of torture.
Even blood fell
down;
drained
out;
cared
about;
left
without;
someone blissfully stupid
like me.
4. I should've,
I would've,
I could've,
listened to my father's instructions
but I didn't.
I still chase it,
the second glass star
to the right.
I wasn't ready
for what guilt
I found;
I never would've
been anyways.
5. Captain hook learned
how simple
it was;
and used a
black gun
to ****** Peter,
and rob him of his'
favorite lost boy.
He left the weapon
in the sleight
of my hand.
"Time to grow up, my dear."
6. Nine years later,
between now
and long ago;
I still create
after
images
whenever I give someone
the power
to mention
your name.
7. Father always told me
fairy tales weren't real.
********
You were mine.
You were real.
I still don't listen
to father.
8. You are the dauntless touch,
to my sense
of adventure
to my flavor
of judgment,
to my frigid heart of
bravery.
*I don't have what it
takes
to* change.
Not anymore.
9. One day I will join you.
The sooner,
the better.
So how pointless is it
that I write
these letters,
and remind myself
that I am much older
and very
lonely?
***"Do you miss me as much as I
miss you?***
...
Apr 3, 2016
Apr 3, 2016 at 10:16 PM UTC
...
and like a grey jewel
"How are you feeling?"
Like solace in ocean foam
"What happened?"
She cast salt on my heart
"Why?"
Because I'm the moon's crucifixion
"Who did this?"
The wolves on the water
"Where are they?"
Are you sure you want to ask that question?
you were polished
A rose has made you her prey
"What do you mean?"
Logic is your sword; why is it dull?
"How is it dull?"
Take notice to the black rust instead
"Did she do that?"
Unpredictable is the chaos of a flower
"You think so?"
I know so
"What are you trying to say?"
You need to recognize what weeds are in disguise
to be brilliant;
"You're crying..."
For your misfortune.
"What misfortune?"
Distance is a sadistic torture, I've heard
"I am aware of that."
What's it like, utter helplessness?
"I cannot describe it."
Let me ask you something, though
"What would that be?"
Where would you be without your demons?
"In a better place."
Oh, but doesn't love come at a cruel cost?
to be valued
"All I want is for you to be happy."
I am happy
"You are lying."
What's the difference?
"You deserve everything you've ever wanted."
Does that include death?
but your value
You remind me of this place
"What place?"
The sea of concrete on death's spine
"What is a sea of concrete?"
Take this journey on dead waters
"Where am I going?"
Anywhere but here
"Will you come with me?"
Perhaps
isn't just how bright you shine in the sun---
"Thank you."
For what, grey jewel?
"For always being there when I needed you."
The darkness tastes a little sweeter with your company
"Does it really?"
I could never lie to the truth
"What about me?"
You are the truth
but it's how you don't decay in darkness
Look behind you
"Do I want to?"
Nullify your fear
"What could it be?"
these cracks of hope in the sea of rock
"A...blooming crystal lily?"
"I watched our friendship flower from the concrete."
...
Apr 2, 2016
Apr 2, 2016 at 5:30 PM UTC
It's nice to know I can no longer look to you for comfort
Mar 20, 2016
Mar 20, 2016 at 4:46 PM UTC
It's funny you called out "guilt tripping" when that's precisely what you did...
Mar 18, 2016
Mar 18, 2016 at 12:52 AM UTC
A painted image
False happiness as people tell me I'm amazing
And a pre-written set of lines to keep me going
I wish I had their humility
That I didn't rethink myself daily
That my mind didn't relapse into hate
I don't look in the mirror because I'm afraid of what I'll see
I don't stare closely at my body or I'll point out my flaws
And I force my mind to call me beautiful until I believe it again
"I wish I had your confidence"
Do you wish you had such hard relapses of hate
And to doubt your own thoughts until you wish you were so much different
Feb 23, 2016
Feb 23, 2016 at 11:30 PM UTC