Up until today, I only ever felt three emotions
Sadness
Deeper sadness
And anger
The anger took me through any given day
The sadness took me through the nights
The deeper sadness I felt when a life or special moment has completed
The response to each emotion was always just tears.
I yearned to feel more.
At the same time feeling privileged
At least I still could feel.
Then today my heart turned off.
Followed by my brain
Felt nothing and thought nothing of it.
I wish I had someone else’s life even for a day.
Feb 12, 2014
Feb 12, 2014 at 11:30 AM UTC
1. Stare away into a vacuum. There's always something entertaining happening in that
vacuum and it needs your undivided attention.
2. Master a blank expression especially when staring into the vacuum or directly at
anyone.
3. Never laugh or smile in social gatherings or ever.
4. Be a miser with your words, use one-word responses and add a few grunts and
guttural sounds to your vocabulary.
5. Believe every male is a ******
6. Never show emotions, especially obvious ones like happiness, surprise, or sadness.
These may serve as conversation starters and you don't want that.
7. Don't necessarily avoid all eye contact. If the person is obviously determined to
make contact with your pupils, give it to them. Stare them down and continue to
stare. If they say something, don't respond just keep staring.
8. Crushing on someone? Don't even bother. They don't want you.
9. Fine, you can't help your crush, these eyes you must definitely avoid.
10. Use up all your tech gadgets, phones, iPods, even a **** calculator can help,
after all the measly remains of your bank account isn't going to check itself.
Anything with words u can pretend to read is also helpful, even your last grocery
receipt that you just randomly found in your purse.
11. "I don't know" is a very good answer for almost every question you're asked.
To make it seem less harsh (if you even care) you can substitute for "not sure"
12. Always pretend to listen, nods and grunts are helpful for this.
13. The less you move your body or your face the better, they're all watching you,
judging you, trying to study you remember that.
14. Paranoia is your friend.
15. Refuse all food or drinks. Do not let them see you eat.
Jan 16, 2014
Jan 16, 2014 at 11:57 AM UTC
No such thing as a ********* with pride
Rip my clothes off
Whip me
Bruise me
Abuse me
Spank me
Welts on my skin
Hot candle wax
Fill me with your fluids
*** not enough
But I **** what I ****
Jan 16, 2014
Jan 16, 2014 at 11:51 AM UTC
Birthday a celebration
Of anticipation
Of being born
Not yet alive
Every New Years
A resolution
“This will be the year of my birth”
Step off a moving bus
Jaywalk
Speed
A lover
With unrequited love
Hair color green
Drink blood
In anticipation of being born
Tattoo the skin
Put a red cross
In the middle.
Along the spine
Endless riddles
Shave all hair
A **** for the tongue
Do a million lines
Call it fun
In anticipation of being born
Be apathetic
Pretend you are free
No responsibilities
Claim “I will always be me”
Watch others live
Not believing in death
Obsessed with rebirth
Waste time
lots of ***
In anticipation of being born
Pine away in depression
Get bullied
Slit wrists
Drink a bottle of ***
Bleed out in the tub
Death
In anticipation of being born
Jan 16, 2014
Jan 16, 2014 at 11:49 AM UTC
Mentally unwell
Body sickly
Mind is clouded
Heart is melancholy
Substance abuse
****** promiscuity
Laziness
No motivation
Bad hygienic practices
Worn and battered
Beaten and bruised
Years of let down, bullying and abuse
Skin radiating
The colour of light brown sugar
Contradicts what’s beneath, the pallor.
Heart feels none but one emotion
Sorrow so deep it engulfs the ocean
No positive contributions to Earth
Death, decompose, rebirth
Just a sorrowful body wafting around
It belongs in the ground.
Jan 16, 2014
Jan 16, 2014 at 11:15 AM UTC
These days she's awake.
survived the perpetual state of sleep walking.
These days she's agitated
It doesn't matter
These days she's forgotten how to smile.
Empty laughs of mockery surround her
These days everything touches her revolutionary spirit.
Where’s yours?
These days injustice everywhere.
The bigotry you spew is relentless.
These days she doesn't understand you.
You don’t recognize that other people feel as you do.
These days we’re at war.
War for peace.
These days the solution is simple.
But you don’t like simplicity.
Jan 16, 2014
Jan 16, 2014 at 11:13 AM UTC
Self-esteem will not allow her to be her
Qui suis-je?
Je ne sais pas
She don mask
Constantly donning masks
It’s the reverse
The hardships and trials she endured in life
Her self-esteem took the blow
“You aint ****
They constantly yell at her.
Until she started believing it.
I believed it.
Self-worth shot to ****
Why should she get anything.
She doesn't deserve it
She's nobody.
She's invisible.
Living a fake life
Nobody is aware
Masks are starting to suffocate her
They stay stuck to her face
Lovers (mostly lovers)
No friendships
No relationships
It’s all on the surface
They can’t see what’s beneath her masks
Its ugly
Its cold
Its blank
It exists
Its invisible
In the mirror she doesn’t see it
Its unworthy
Unworthy to be seen
Unworthy to be appreciated
They look through it
Past it to the other side
What is this thing called pride?
Pride is just fear
Fear of being seen
Fear of being known
The illusions
The delusions
The lies
They are real.
They’re what her life’s become
What’s the point of living a fake life anymore?
Constantly donning masks
Stepping into a non-existent person’s shoes
Pretense pretense pretense
Hurt by hidden clues
This is not a movie
This is real life.
But it isn’t real.
Jan 16, 2014
Jan 16, 2014 at 10:54 AM UTC
Life is mediocrity
You grew up in a trap
Staying trapped
No networks
No connections
Nobody to talk to
Mediocrity
No hope
No help
No support
Faces are blank
Faces can’t help you
Nobody got through it alone
Don’t let them fool you
They had support
Even the tiniest
Always left behind
Nobody remembers
Did you leave a mark?
How would they remember?
No mark.
Trapped
Mediocrity
Staring at blankness
Black and white no colour.
No hope.
Mind is blank
Ingenuity is dead
Heart doesn’t feel
Body just a shell
Privilege is an evil word
No its not
But it will cause you to suffer.
Who wants it least, destroys it
Always left behind
Never good enough
Confusion
Anger
Depression
Danger
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013 at 1:08 PM UTC
Beautiful, gentle, feminine grace
Her essence redolent of future nostalgic days
Supplement for the eyes
Taste of sweet hope
drive away consternation
Fragile, lithe confidence
Feline cockiness
unblemished control
So bold and self-assured
Insecurities tucked so deep
She walks with the air of
superior knowledge
And she has it
She knows things we wished
Intelligent in all her undertaking
As simple as they are.
likeness to the purest
Shes a magnificent creature
There is strength in her confidence.
Then there are the others
similar species
The ones who lack
Beastly
Trod like a giant
Callous to the touch
Gauche by comparisson
Constant yearning To be so sure of themselves
Constantly seeking others approval
Watching her
Studying her.
Long hours of staring And inhaling her
Pretending to be her.
Failing
Its innate
But only in women like her
"We are not all meant to be the same"
They are fed
"It would be boring"
She's manufactured by society
To endure society
Survival of the fittest
She will survive.
Don't we all deserve to survive?
Some say its science down to the atom
Invariably convinced that they are not members
of the "protected" feminine gender
But definitely not welcomed to the esteemed masculine gender.
Born in the right body
Trapped in the wrong mind.
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013 at 11:37 AM UTC