wipersndblinkrs - Hello Poetry

depression is a civil war. you're essentially fighting yourself. and i don't mean that you are your mental illness. i mean your mental illness is you. it's just as much you as your brain or your heart. it's made of the same molecules that make up the skin on the back of your hand. (but for the record, nobody really knows that anything is made of molecules. it's all a construct of humankind's perception to their observations). my point is, fighting in a war with a predetermined winner seems pointless and unfair. but when you actually are fighting it, you don't know which part of you will win. but you do know you will win. sometimes, the mental illness wins. sometimes you lose your war. and that's okay. you never really can win your war. you simply dominate your mental illness. dominance can be overthrown. don't believe me? i dominated my mental illness. but here i am. writing an essay in the form of a poem. and since something changed along the way, i've been thinking about this civil war. i've known for a while that i was fighting it. so why am i just now deciding i'm going to choose when and how my blood stops flowing through these veins covered in beautiful scars. the answer is overthrown dominance. you can try every coping skill, every drug, every conversation, but that only masks the war. it doesn't get rid of your mental illness. it only helps you dominate. dominance can be overthrown. i know i sound bleak and hopeless. but it's the truth. some people can dominate until they die of other things. but they never win their war. but they don't lose it. no dosage of any drug can fix your chemical imbalance. i say it like that because that's what it is. it's the same as if you had an imbalance in your blood cells. but for some people with mental illnesses, it's controllable with a pill. when you look at the science behind it, the pill stimulates your nerves to send a signal to a gland in your brain to release serotonin or dopamine, therefore balancing out the chemicals. but if the person forgets their pill, their chemicals are still imbalanced. you can never really **** a mental illness. but it can **** you. and that's terrifying.

0

Jan 10, 2019

Jan 10, 2019 at 5:01 PM UTC

wipersndblinkrs

civil war

depression is a civil war. you're essentially fighting yourself. and i don't mean that you are your mental illness. i mean your mental illness is you. it's just as much you as your brain or your heart. it's made of the same molecules that make up the skin on the back of your hand. (but for the record, nobody really knows that anything is made of molecules. it's all a construct of humankind's perception to their observations). my point is, fighting in a war with a predetermined winner seems pointless and unfair. but when you actually are fighting it, you don't know which part of you will win. but you do know you will win. sometimes, the mental illness wins. sometimes you lose your war. and that's okay. you never really can win your war. you simply dominate your mental illness. dominance can be overthrown. don't believe me? i dominated my mental illness. but here i am. writing an essay in the form of a poem. and since something changed along the way, i've been thinking about this civil war. i've known for a while that i was fighting it. so why am i just now deciding i'm going to choose when and how my blood stops flowing through these veins covered in beautiful scars. the answer is overthrown dominance. you can try every coping skill, every drug, every conversation, but that only masks the war. it doesn't get rid of your mental illness. it only helps you dominate. dominance can be overthrown. i know i sound bleak and hopeless. but it's the truth. some people can dominate until they die of other things. but they never win their war. but they don't lose it. no dosage of any drug can fix your chemical imbalance. i say it like that because that's what it is. it's the same as if you had an imbalance in your blood cells. but for some people with mental illnesses, it's controllable with a pill. when you look at the science behind it, the pill stimulates your nerves to send a signal to a gland in your brain to release serotonin or dopamine, therefore balancing out the chemicals. but if the person forgets their pill, their chemicals are still imbalanced. you can never really **** a mental illness. but it can **** you. and that's terrifying.

1

i had a talk with creativity last night. i asked it why it comes and goes it replied “why does the sun come up and go down every day” i didn’t know. “well, soon you’ll learn that leaving and coming back really makes it worth something” creativity left and hasn’t come back yet. i wonder if it’s waiting for me to learn that leaving and coming back really makes it worth something

0

Sep 28, 2018

Sep 28, 2018 at 11:42 AM UTC

wipersndblinkrs

i had a talk with creativity last night

i had a talk with creativity last night. i asked it why it comes and goes it replied “why does the sun come up and go down every day” i didn’t know. “well, soon you’ll learn that leaving and coming back really makes it worth something” creativity left and hasn’t come back yet. i wonder if it’s waiting for me to learn that leaving and coming back really makes it worth something

12

Are you okay? Are you alright, are you fine, are you good? Are you adequate, are you decent? Are you emotionally stable, sleeping without crying, smiling because you want to? Are you breathing without questioning, are you waking up without trying, are you eating without throwing up? Are you reading this poem right now and thinking no? Are you thinking for the first time, will I ever be okay? You will be okay. You will be alright, you will be fine, you will be good. You will be adequate, you will be decent. You will be emotionally stable, you will sleep without crying, and smile for the happiness blooming inside of you. You will breathe without questioning, you will wake up to a new day, you will eat easily You are going to be okay. So please smile sunshine It’s a fine new day To be okay :) - a.g.

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wipersndblinkrs

Sep 13, 2018

Sep 13, 2018 at 9:18 AM UTC

andromeda_green

Are you okay?

Are you okay? Are you alright, are you fine, are you good? Are you adequate, are you decent? Are you emotionally stable, sleeping without crying, smiling because you want to? Are you breathing without questioning, are you waking up without trying, are you eating without throwing up? Are you reading this poem right now and thinking no? Are you thinking for the first time, will I ever be okay? You will be okay. You will be alright, you will be fine, you will be good. You will be adequate, you will be decent. You will be emotionally stable, you will sleep without crying, and smile for the happiness blooming inside of you. You will breathe without questioning, you will wake up to a new day, you will eat easily You are going to be okay. So please smile sunshine It’s a fine new day To be okay :) - a.g.

18

I miss you kid Everyday I miss your sarcastic comments I miss the way you frustrate yourself doing your hair I miss your obsessions I miss our song I miss dancing in my room to your cds I miss fighting with you over stupid things I miss your chipped nails I miss your glasses too far down your nose I miss your references I miss knowing all your crushes I miss teasing you I miss you teasing me I miss **** date or marry I miss your goody two shoes side I miss your rebel side I miss how proud you were of yourself I miss your old confidence I miss doing your makeup I miss laying down and looking at the clouds I miss everything I missed you growing up I missed you changing I missed you becoming who you're not You're gonna be in seventh grade in 6 months And I'm not sure if I'll be there to see you off I just want to be back with you It's so scary being alone at that house, I know I'm so proud of you and I love you Stay strong kiddo

0

wipersndblinkrs

Sep 2, 2018

Sep 2, 2018 at 8:26 PM UTC

jeyblu771

abby

I miss you kid Everyday I miss your sarcastic comments I miss the way you frustrate yourself doing your hair I miss your obsessions I miss our song I miss dancing in my room to your cds I miss fighting with you over stupid things I miss your chipped nails I miss your glasses too far down your nose I miss your references I miss knowing all your crushes I miss teasing you I miss you teasing me I miss **** date or marry I miss your goody two shoes side I miss your rebel side I miss how proud you were of yourself I miss your old confidence I miss doing your makeup I miss laying down and looking at the clouds I miss everything I missed you growing up I missed you changing I missed you becoming who you're not You're gonna be in seventh grade in 6 months And I'm not sure if I'll be there to see you off I just want to be back with you It's so scary being alone at that house, I know I'm so proud of you and I love you Stay strong kiddo

31

never get comfortable with mental illness it is not your friend it is a force you must fight I know the heat is like home burning embers on your flesh and you know you're alive but you can't let it consume all the crevices of you because there is life where water runs cool across your feet rapid and royal it breathes life into your bones unlike this smoke that smothers you like wool on a warm night. never get comfortable with mental illness or it'll steal your soul when you least suspect it so seek the light brave like morning bursting through darkness and hold on for the new if the sun can do it so can you.

0

Aug 30, 2018

Aug 30, 2018 at 10:09 AM UTC

wipersndblinkrs

43.

never get comfortable with mental illness it is not your friend it is a force you must fight I know the heat is like home burning embers on your flesh and you know you're alive but you can't let it consume all the crevices of you because there is life where water runs cool across your feet rapid and royal it breathes life into your bones unlike this smoke that smothers you like wool on a warm night. never get comfortable with mental illness or it'll steal your soul when you least suspect it so seek the light brave like morning bursting through darkness and hold on for the new if the sun can do it so can you.

23

Anything can look like a poem and sound philosophical simply by moving the words on different lines. Am I doing it right? Is this really talent? Art? Effort? I think I am trying. Really, I am I go back and change the order and I break lines where it sounds right But it does not take me long. Not at all. I try to be intentional and call it natural rhythm. Instinct and style taking over I alternate between agonizing every detail like When to Capitalize and publishing free form poems without looking over them twice. How is writing supposed to feel? Should I labor? or should it flow? Or do I get to decide? I think the things I talk of mean something at least. But am I just pretentious? fooling myself into thinking that using common poetry formats somehow makes my work worthwhile?

0

wipersndblinkrs

Aug 24, 2018

Aug 24, 2018 at 12:36 PM UTC

HannahChristina

Is this art?

Anything can look like a poem and sound philosophical simply by moving the words on different lines. Am I doing it right? Is this really talent? Art? Effort? I think I am trying. Really, I am I go back and change the order and I break lines where it sounds right But it does not take me long. Not at all. I try to be intentional and call it natural rhythm. Instinct and style taking over I alternate between agonizing every detail like When to Capitalize and publishing free form poems without looking over them twice. How is writing supposed to feel? Should I labor? or should it flow? Or do I get to decide? I think the things I talk of mean something at least. But am I just pretentious? fooling myself into thinking that using common poetry formats somehow makes my work worthwhile?

39

when i close my eyes all i see is silence. i want to see more but my quiet mind hides my thoughts. then they come rushing back and they’re worse than ever before and it hurts. i cry i break i heal i wait for the silence to come back

0

Aug 24, 2018

Aug 24, 2018 at 8:47 AM UTC

wipersndblinkrs

Silence

when i close my eyes all i see is silence. i want to see more but my quiet mind hides my thoughts. then they come rushing back and they’re worse than ever before and it hurts. i cry i break i heal i wait for the silence to come back

14

music and poems and words. i often find my will to live ebbing in and out of existence and i try to keep it alive but sometimes i need a little help i find the things that save my life in music and poems and her.

0

Aug 24, 2018

Aug 24, 2018 at 8:07 AM UTC

wipersndblinkrs

The Story of How my Life Gets Saved

music and poems and words. i often find my will to live ebbing in and out of existence and i try to keep it alive but sometimes i need a little help i find the things that save my life in music and poems and her.

18

i was something they forgot to label "fragile" now i'm stuck and you know too much. i’ll slip away into the sound and i find myself but you’ve already found me broken cracked open because i was something they forgot to label “fragile”

0

Aug 23, 2018

Aug 23, 2018 at 10:43 AM UTC

wipersndblinkrs

Fragile

i was something they forgot to label "fragile" now i'm stuck and you know too much. i’ll slip away into the sound and i find myself but you’ve already found me broken cracked open because i was something they forgot to label “fragile”

19

no more of these sad kids. no more of these sad kids. no more of the kids who lie and have to say they are depressed just to fit in. no more of this fad of phony depression.

0

Aug 23, 2018

Aug 23, 2018 at 10:30 AM UTC

wipersndblinkrs

sad kids

no more of these sad kids. no more of these sad kids. no more of the kids who lie and have to say they are depressed just to fit in. no more of this fad of phony depression.

18