are you afraid of parking garages
do you think of empty parking spaces
with empty cars beside them
like your own compartmentalized mind
do the empty spaces scare you
like my own scare me
are you afraid of the dust
are you afraid of the ghosts
sitting where people once were
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid of the lonely silence
are you afraid of the concrete walls
that are more solid than anything
that you have ever created
are you afraid
that you'll be just as cold
just as lifeless
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid of where they take you
are you afraid of the airports
that you always end up in
missing those that never come back
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid that you'll park
and that you'll never leave
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid of the flickering lights
and your own shadow
bouncing in front you
are you afraid of going somewhere
and never coming home
are you afraid of your home
and when they asked you where home is
did you stutter
because you almost said someone's name
instead of a place
or is your home that parking garage
blank and grey
empty and hollow
are you afraid of parking garages
[holyoak]
Aug 23, 2015
Aug 23, 2015 at 5:10 AM UTC
and then
you come to realize
that your porcelain bones
can't take much more
you're falling apart
in her hands
and she doesn't
want to save you
she'll drop you
to the floor
at the first sign
of those spiderweb cracks
fractured perfection
mental misteps
up the stairs
as she loses balance
while she carrys you
porcelain bones
and parchment skin
how much more poetry
can your body take
[holyoak]
Aug 23, 2015
Aug 23, 2015 at 5:09 AM UTC
sycophantic poetry
im only here to please you
im only here to ease
this starvation of attention
my words are only
hollow messengers
that mean only
that im devoted
but when
im gone
who will turn you
into the poetry
that you dont understand
[holyoak]
Aug 23, 2015
Aug 23, 2015 at 5:09 AM UTC
an armageddon
in a sundress
a walking tsunami
bent on whisking you up
and slamming you down
drowning you
with every word
that you wanted to hear
shes a monsoon
in the middle of july
a dust storm
clouding a freeway
if my veins are rivers
then she flooded them all
my home was taken
in the tornado that she was
ripped from its foundation
and later found wasted
she decimated my mind
with the hurricane she resembled
and to tell the truth
i guess ive always been a stormchaser
ive always sought out
the most dangerous situations
and she was no different
she left me in the street
with no one around
but she cant be blamed
i asked for it
[holyoak]
Aug 23, 2015
Aug 23, 2015 at 5:09 AM UTC
A CRUISE SHIP
STRANDED IN CITY STREETS
A FIRETRUCK
ON FIRE IN THE RAIN
DO YOU UNDERSTAND
MY LOVE FOR YOU YET
THIS IS DRAMATIC IRONY
YOURE KILLING TIME
IN THE BEST WAYS
AND SOON ENOUGH
IM BLEEDING OUT
TO YOUR VOICE
BOUNCING OFF THESE WALLS
YOU ALWAYS PUT THE LAUGHTER
IN MANSLAUGHTER
[holyoak]
Aug 23, 2015
Aug 23, 2015 at 5:09 AM UTC
& i dont mean physically
you turned your mind off to me
you shut down & backed out
i was staring at the corpse
of the girl that once laughed
she could breathe life into the room
but now youre a walking tombstone
with the words
i rest in pieces
carved haphazardly into the front
now the only peace of mind i have
is that it wasnt me who killed you
it was your own heart
racing faster than a freight train
& when it beats out of your chest
maybe ill see the real you
soaked in blood
& charging for the exit
not unlike the last time we spoke
i swear you threw the door off its hinges
like you ripped our pages
out of the book
& used them to wrap your cigarettes
breathing in our words
like tobacco
feeding off our feelings
like nicotine
you smoked yourself into a stupor
& wiped your mind clean
of any thought of me
[holyoak]
Aug 23, 2015
Aug 23, 2015 at 5:04 AM UTC
you know sweetie, I'd love to forgive you
I'd love to believe that
your intentions were the best
however I can't seem
to get this particular dream
out of my head
see, what I dream is
you saying "sorry, you were right"
"I didn't mean any of it"
"not even that one night"
I want to be validated
in my grief, I suppose
I want a reason behind
why this hurts so bad
after so long
because frankly you don't deserve this from me
you don't deserve anything from me
you made promises that you didn't even try to keep
you spat lies into my face
and apologized for things
that you planned on doing
the very next day
so don't you dare tell me
you're "sorry"
now I don't want an apology
instead I want nothing but guilt
and shame
for you
because just for once in your life
I want you to take responsibility
for the mistakes you made
and the choices you made
and the times that you actively decided
to douse my wounds with salt
I want you to feel the burning
that's been in my blood for the past ten months
if I have to burn,
well, baby,
you're gonna burn too
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 17, 2015 at 12:52 AM UTC
you're welcome.
welcome here.
welcome into my life
welcome into
my heaven and my hell
here
meet my demons
and the Angels
that help me fight them
welcome here
where music is sometimes
the only way I can feel
welcome to your new home
welcome to
a broken home that has
adopted habits and mannerisms that
make the walls sag
and groan
with pains
a home that fosters
echoing memories
welcome home to emptiness
aching
for fulfillment
welcome home to a mess on the floor
the kind that everyone else just stepped over and ignored
except you
you bent down and quietly picked up the shards of shattered beliefs
you showed them to me and said
"let's put this back together"
and we did
we sat at the coffee table
that before
was just another trip hazard
now serves
as the foundation
for the picture we're putting together
piece by piece
and suddenly
I'm laughing
and the walls are brightly colored
and there are windows open
to a grand sunrise and
for the first time
I realized
I had stopped holding my breath
because I didn't have to count to a million failures
to find
a fresh start
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 9:18 PM UTC
wake up
it's a cold sweat
but a red-hot dream
that stabbed you in the side
like a dull rusty blade
that nobody remembered to clean
breathe deep, it was just sleep
but what if you weren't quite free
what if the Deep called you back
and you found out what your brain
decided to keep
hidden between the neurons
you've forbidden yourself from
"look no further"
you tell yourself for the umpteenth time this week
but you know
it'll happen again
you don't know when
but soon
it'll be you and them
in the room where you bled
and not even in the way that gets
someone's attention
you're gonna claw
and you're gonna scream
but who will hear?
it's a mascot's dream
and while we're here
who's team are you on?
this dream won't just disappear
but it's not even a dream anymore
dreams don't leave you waking up sore
you have to get out
you have to escape
but wait
it looks likes there's some more
stop
not again
you've done this before
what's really difficult to ignore
and I'm just curious how
the light fades
right as the punch line rolls out
and maybe one day you'll get
that fists were never meant
for the inside of your skull
and maybe one day you'll know
that the inside of this hull was
compromised by those
overboard thoughts
the one's you mocked:
"it's probably nothing"
but it's not.
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 9:13 PM UTC
if you've never cried
while singing along to a song in your car
I highly recommend it
I recommend feeling your voice shake
as your mouth forms
the words your mind
knows by heart
I recommend screaming the lines
that hurt
the most
and letting the raw emotion
exist.
yes
you always feel like this
but today
I recommend
that you actually
let yourself
feel it.
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 9:11 PM UTC