tell me, whats it like
to feel alive?
whats it like to wake up everyday
not knowing that you have me
rotting on the inside?
im watching the trees sway
patiently waiting to see your car
pull up on my drive way
all the patience in the world couldn't **** me
because im lost in your eyes
time flies by and words are disappearing
i look into your eyes and its junior high
all over again
the weeks are growing shorter and everyday its a new month
all i can feel is your absence
im trying to find my location but i can hear your voice in the back of my head
soothing and sweet
manipulative and convincing
you've come to find me but it turns out you've just led me astray
all i want is for you to show me a way
somewhere i can go so i can forever leave
so i can have a chance to breathe
or maybe even the slightest hope
to once believe
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 10:07 PM UTC
have you ever believed
in something so blindly
so genuinely
that the moment you realize
it isn't true, something inside you
changes forever?
i wanna tell you a story, see
seldom do i ever
go swimming in drinks
deep enough to drown in
but when i do
i speak in tongues
about things that none
of my memories
are allowed to talk about
like that christmas
at the isthmus
where my girlfriend
plucked a conch shell
whiter than gods teeth
out of the sand
held it to her ear
and stopped time
that day she was a shade of blue
the could've made the ocean sick
see, she loved to play jokes
when she held
the sea shell to her ear
she gasped, called my name
and said "i want you to hear this"
i said "yeah, right, everybody knows it's just the same old sea"
she replied "no. not this one. this one is special. listen. theres music in this one"
she handed me the shell
like a promise she couldn't keep
and i held it to my ear
with all the potential
of seeing shore
after being stranded
at sea for years
only to hear
a tired dirge of silence
spill from its emptiness
i guess she didn't know
how desperately
i wanted to hear it too
because ever since
something inside me snapped
now sand pours out
of every post card i open
i hear seagulls
in telephone static
sometimes i have dreams
where i bury my hands
in every beach
i've ever been on
and exhume this graveyard of noise
every time i try to sleep
i spit up fishhooks
and i guess i'm obsessed
but maybe
if i hold my ear
to enough vacant things
then i could have back
the time stolen from me
since it happened
maybe they would get it
if they knew what i wanted
when i blow out birthday candles
maybe they'll find me
face down in a wishing well
i watch eternal sunshine
of the spotless mind every day
pretending i can forget too
because this sea sickness
has followed me for years
because yesterday
i walked into a music shop
and all the pianos broke
but the only thing
i can think to say is
*do you know how bad
a memory has to be
that you fantasize
about forgetting it?*
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 9:43 PM UTC
Show me how to breathe
or tell me you'll never leave
Just know that I'm here waiting
Waiting for you to tell me
that the love I gave to you
meant something
because the taste of your
breath still lingers and I
can still almost taste the
words coming out of your mouth
"...then take me."
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 9:37 PM UTC
Constantly wearing your sweaters
Hoping to hear you knocking at my door
Constantly breathing in your scent that lingers because in my mind I won't have to fear
I'll see you soon
Jan 14, 2015
Jan 14, 2015 at 11:14 PM UTC