I remember the closure.
I took it.
Then put my headphones in.
I heard those notes play in that specific order
& I heard the emotions reverb through the passing era.
I heard your words &
I felt the pain from a third person perspective.
I heard that versions train of thought spiraling in some moments.
I felt the ground on my feet in summer as I paced across the parking lot;
Asking if I am actually missing gaps in the timeline.
Asking if there was something wrong with me.
I saw some of the good &
Said goodbye to it all.
When I got up;
I felt a weight lifted off my shoulder.
& A haunting image of a face off of my mind.
Anxiety went away with time.
Years later;
I woke up & the rose had died.
My heart didn’t hurt;
I swear I have feelings.
Jun 22, 2022
Jun 22, 2022 at 5:47 AM UTC
I hate who I was & I hate how you made me feel for it.
Punch me in the nose;
I’ll cry at the end of the era.
I’ll mourn the years.
Flooded streets;
Cement stairs.
I wrote this song about you.
It sounds like how you make me feel.
Layered voices filter the room.
You touched too many memories;
So my brain chose to have no thought at all.
I felt,
Unheard.
I felt,
Like something was wrong with me.
I felt,
Really ******* sad.
Watermelon chopsticks in summer;
Warped social perception.
Walking the streets pretending to have a purpose.
In my head;
Trying to figure out
what the **** is going on.
& Why won’t they answer my questions?
I’m frustrated.
Im confused..
Why was I always confused?
Am I loud enough?
Oct 28, 2021
Oct 28, 2021 at 9:16 AM UTC
I just wish I could see myself through your perspective;
You make me feel beautiful.
I’ll remember;
Credit card ice cream,
Summer afternoon,
Bright room.
You held the guitar
& I asked you a question.
It turned into a 10 minute song;
That made me smile the whole time.
Because you were smiling.
I love when I get to see you smile.
Sep 22, 2021
Sep 22, 2021 at 9:32 PM UTC
When I close my eyes it feels like everything is erupting inside my head & body;
But when I open them the world looks refreshed
& I feel like a viewer.
Jun 23, 2021
Jun 23, 2021 at 8:55 AM UTC
Crash, fall, then beauty
Crash, fall, then beauty
Crash, fall, then beauty
Crash, fall, then beauty
Crash, fall, then beauty
Crash, fall, then beauty
Crash, fall, then beauty
Crash, fall, then beauty
Crash, fall, then beauty
But we never see what happens after the beauty.
Jun 20, 2021
Jun 20, 2021 at 3:29 PM UTC
My time is valuable
& my energy is rare
& thoughts require both,
// // // // // // // // // // // //
So I don’t really think about you.
Dec 18, 2020
Dec 18, 2020 at 1:20 AM UTC
To those I loved:
I— (blank)
I’m sorry, I was trying to express my emotions but my brain just wiped my thought process.
Dec 17, 2020
Dec 17, 2020 at 12:21 AM UTC
And I remember watching that stupid movie
It had so many awards
Nothing scary had happened but the darkness it projected made me anxious
You held me
You held me during
You held me after
But even then,
Though comforting,
I still don’t love you
Oct 15, 2020
Oct 15, 2020 at 9:29 PM UTC
I'll never forget her first synth
4:00 pm
& The streetlights are on
I don't know
It makes me anxious for several non-specific reasons
I'll say,
She floats
& now when I hear this
I'll see do not cross signals waving behind car exhaust
Is this peaking?
Feb 15, 2020
Feb 15, 2020 at 5:32 PM UTC