I want nothing that matters
I’ve got nothing to hide
I want something that matters
I want you by my side
I wish I was stronger than you are
I wish I could push through all of this on my own
I wish that the longer you wish for something
The more you get to call it your own
And all my dreams are like faded photographs
Once experienced now I can only look back
And I have no recollection of what I was doing
So when you show it to me I’ll pretend it was nothing
I miss you more than I thought I would
Papa brings in the firewood
It won’t snow tonight or tomorrow
But I want to end this year without any sorrow
I wish I knew where you are tonight
With someone who’s better than me
You think she’s going to hold you just as tight
But she’ll break your heart more when she leaves
You can come to my front door if you bring celebration and light
I don’t want darkness or hell
I’ve got enough of that myself
So you can leave that all behind
And throw your worries over your shoulder like a bag
Hang your responsibilities on the coat rack
Pretend for just a night you don’t have them
Then leave them here so you have a reason to come back
My piano misses your fingers,
My veins miss your blood.
My fog doesn’t know where it lingers
I guess it’s just as lost as all of us
Can you remember these things to me
I’m in these photos but I have no memory
It’s like looking at a life from years ago
Back in ancient Egypt or maybe Rome
I collect stars just for you tonight
We used to pretend fireworks were bombs
We ran from them, in a sick game
I was frightened and a little bit wrong
And I hang the rhymes out to dry on the line
And looked at them from all angles and behind
You told me red was your favorite shade of wine
But I never knew why you were so blue all the time
Pasting things to my lips in an effort to seal them
It’s been years and my mind is reeling
I can’t believe I used to think that was who I was
Well I do now, but that’s because
Fire can only burn for so long,
So Papa put on another log
And stray from me while it sizzles and cracks
I locked the doors and windows this time
I know you won’t be coming back
This year I want to make a vow
To never fall out with anyone again
Because I cannot see the ground
Or anywhere I’m going to land
You can be something I dream about
Then forget in the morning blues
Before my head leaves my pillow
Ten times I thought of you
And I don’t want to be anything more than what I am with you
Where do I stand?
And I don’t want to decieve myself but all the lies you’ve got are true
And I paint them on my hand
I am unusual sometimes
More than I am complete
I don’t need anyone else to climb
The highest mountains and the tallest trees
I learned to be myself with you
Now I have to learn that without
It shouldn’t be easy to do
But I’ve got to try and start
I know who I am, alright
And you never had a part
You didn’t do anything for my night
And you didn’t owe favors to my heart
I picked some things to stuff in a corner
Of my mind, I should’ve hid them well
Because I swear you can see them if you look closer
Into my eyes when I smile
I want your grey and I want your bright
I want your day and I want your night
Take them all and tuck them inside
Let no one see what lies behind
But you can’t come telling me it meant nothing at all
It meant something to my mind, to my heart, I recall
And something to my father who didn’t think I was listening
And something to my mother who told me I was glistening
Now I cannot say that I would go seeking you out
After all I’ve done to avoid coversation
But if you tapped on my window and shout
I wouldn’t draw the curtains
And you can’t say you wouldn’t do the same
If I was in trouble and needed a hand
If you heard me at night calling your name
I know you would answer and help me to stand
Oct 26, 2014
Oct 26, 2014 at 5:28 PM UTC
The convenience of death is too great
not to give in.
And I am found wandering
in old haunted battlefields,
searching for a place for the cannons.
Lay down in the outline of a dead Union soldier's body;
bullet holes riddle his blue uniform.
And the train has not come with the doctors and bandages;
they were all sent to Normandy.
Snow covers the flags and they are buried
in memories of more decent times
Even when I saw the explosions I was still sure
that everyone could make it out alive.
My grandpa's in bed; he's lost his sight,
tells me of losing his leg in a fight
with a German soldier over a piece of bread.
He leaned in and whispered,
"They say love is the only language everyone can understand.
That's not true. It's war."
I could barely speak when the door closed,
looked up and saw we'd joined another battle,
same enemy with a different name.
So I lay down my arms at Arlington National,
and rest in a child's grave.
Oct 26, 2014
Oct 26, 2014 at 4:58 PM UTC