Once again we've shut each other out
After letting each other back in
Playing tag with our emotions
First to express their longing loses
4 months of this game
We add more pieces
We add more people
They don't know they're in our game
We avoid them when together
You chose a piece over a player
You ruined the game
Game over
Mar 20, 2014
Mar 20, 2014 at 8:32 PM UTC
Too late
to try again
time has done it's work
distanced our old selves from who we are now
Somewhere we're still together, in a different dimension I like to think
We admitted that there will always be something
I hope I'm that girl you look back on and regret- regret letting me slip through your fingertips
We say maybe ten years from now we will bump into eachother
and start over
I like to believe so
You believe in that thought so strongly
that time will fix things, it will make us right for each other once again
I think... You gave up on me
And you will do it again
Ten years from now I hope to bump into you
And you'll see that you let me go, you'll see that you should've fought
Because I don't think I could take you back
Jan 7, 2014
Jan 7, 2014 at 9:23 PM UTC
I have spread myself upon you,
And I want the parts of me I have released to come back
To make me feel whole
They say some people just click
But how do we unclick?
Do we grow so big, we break the interlocked piece that's connected to us?
Or do we shrink and let that piece go and click with another?
Why don't we just stay interlocked, unwavering and fastened together?
Dec 24, 2013
Dec 24, 2013 at 4:39 PM UTC
I used to fall so deeply into those eyes
I'd get lost and I didn't mind
We connected, and there was nothing that could've come between us
From the first time we gazed into each others eyes
We knew. We had something special
Those eyes made me crumble
From the first time you said hello
to when you said goodbye
Those eyes, I gazed into them last night
And I felt a pang of nostalgia
And I felt the muted emotions that weren't allowed to be stated
We knew, there will always be something there
Those eyes gaze upon another, as do mine
But my eyes, they belong to you
Yours belong to me
You always have a home in me
Dec 21, 2013
Dec 21, 2013 at 11:31 AM UTC
The boards under my feet are cold, familiar
I reminisce about this time last year
Happiness, something new
You
The boards under my feet are still the same
I am completely different
I put so much love into the person that took it all away
Yet I still love
The thought of you wrapped up in your brain, in your bed with someone else is awful to me
This time last year that was me
She feels right to you, as did I
But she doesn't know you
She does not seem to love as I do
But you're not worth it
I can do better
you said it yourself
I walk away from the cold floorboards
Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 12:38 AM UTC
i fell again, the same wounds
they opened up.
took pieces of me away
took me away
took away my mask,
the happiness everyone was used to
the smile faded
my body is a vessel that can't handle my emotions no longer
they spill out of me
my eyes- tears fall
my fingertips- i hold on too strong or not at all
my lips- chapped
my hugs- full of something.. longing
my emotions are showing in everything i do
i can't stop
i am exposed
i am raw to the bone
every feeling that touches me makes me fall
every comforting word makes me doubt
every hand to hold lets go
no one to turn to
no one understands
no ones comfort is enough anymore
even when i reach out
even when i try to get help
there's always something else
*sorry i can't talk to you right now, i'm high as ****
the people i thought i could rely on, i can't
the people i love, don't get it
the people that have been there from the start- everybody's too consumed in their own lives
who am i to disturb them?
all i feel is pain
all i feel is the ghostly lips of the past on my forehead
..telling me to let go
all i feel is negativity
i'm too far gone
too far in
too late
sleep doesn't heal me anymore
drugs are no good
everything good that has been in my life
the good i've built for myself
has been spread upon the skin of others
has been left in the places i can no longer go
the places that hold my secrets
the places i left my feelings with
i'm emotionally raw
vulnerable
and i just want to be relieved
i've been strong
i'm tired of fighting
Nov 29, 2013
Nov 29, 2013 at 5:52 PM UTC
When I was with you
I couldn't speak
I couldn't open up
When you left, I learned
I learnt how to share
I learnt how to speak
I learnt how to express myself
It's what I thought would keep you around,
It would make you stay
Unfortunately it wasn't
But yet I'm still here expressing myself and I wonder why some people have such a hard time doing so
You see
I applaud you, you stayed with me that long
Even with my inability to communicate my feelings, my desires, everything.
You we're everything to me
I fell for you,
I fell into you
I got stuck and you left me
-
Here I am now
I'm with another boy
I adore him, I do
But he can't communicate
As much as I want him to speak
he won't, he can't
He's not good at it
I'm just learning how to open up, and it's hard
I don't know how to coax him out
I don't know if he's worth the trouble
I wasn't worth the trouble, even when I did learn
there's always someone better
I don't know what to do
I feel helpless
I don't need this,
I've found myself a new home, in my insecurities
But I understand, I do
And I don't give up
It's not what I'm good at
I fight and I make it through
You will too
Please fight
Don't leave
Nov 26, 2013
Nov 26, 2013 at 8:57 PM UTC
not really a poem idk
His arms or yours
His mouth or yours
His bed or yours
His heart or yours
The thing is with him it doesn't feel right
I know it could, but I'm not ready
I'm not ready to be with someone just yet
He doesn't hurt. I think it's weird. I don't want someone that's going to ignore their feelings.. I don't want someone that isn't able to show me love
I don't want to be with someone where he can't commit. I trust him, I do. I know he doesn't want to hurt me and I don't want to hurt him.
-
You, my old love
I miss you, I really do
Sometimes I lie down in bed and imagine you next to me, but then you disappear
I remember then that you're not mine anymore, the boy I've came to love is gone.
I'm not willing to give you another chance either
You're curled up in bed by yourself, then there's that girl that you let use you. I don't know why, I thought you were better than that
-
The old us
We were great, we were amazing. But then life got in the way. I loved you so much. I would do anything for you. As much as I miss you I'm moving on too.. And leaving you behind.
You're always going to be with me. In the way I talk, in the way I kiss, in the way I hold hands, in the way I cuddle, in the way I curl my arms around another boy.. You're always going to be here with me. You taught me so much.
-
As I'm lying in bed with him I start to cry. He says to let it out, to cry. He hugs me and comforts me. As much as it feels wrong it does feel right...? I like him but I'm not ready for anything more
He's sweet to me and I'm sweet to him
He respects me, I respect him
He's there for me and I'm there for him
The way he kisses is different, not wrong
Just different from the way we used to kiss..
I'm torn I don't know what's best for me
So I'm going to keep my distance from these two until I'm sure what I want
I don't want to get under a boy to get over you.
I'm better than that and I'm strong
All I want is to be happy
When I am, I'll be back
And stronger than ever
Nov 15, 2013
Nov 15, 2013 at 11:36 AM UTC
His hands are smooth, clammy
Callusses from playing the guitar
He can also play with strings
He has scars on his hands that tell stories
His hair isn't thick, isn't filled with goop
He wears baseball hats, pretty cute
His favorite color's navy blue
He's tall
And nice
And sweet
And everything in between
I'm falling, I don't know what to do
We sat down in a cafe
Had a lemon cheese danish
He got bit- twice
By birds at the pet store
He loves Lego
I don't know what's going on inside my head
Do I like him?
I like what he has the potential to be.
... Anything
He believes in God
He doesn't laugh when I tell him about Him
We went all he way to Kipling station
Me on his shoulder, with his music blaring
I love his music, I like how he shares
I like how he opens up to me
I like how I feel safe
I like how he's quiet
I like his friends
I like him
He wanted to drop me home
But I refused
"Don't.. You have to use another bus ticket!"
"I'm not good with goodbyes on the bus!"
A handshake was our goodbye
We haven't even hugged
And that's good, it's slow, safe
I didn't know what was stopping me from talking to you..
But I grew a pair, so did you
And we just got along
He has a good heart
He's a great guy
But I'm scared I'm going to hurt him
Apparently I always do the hurting
But all I see in my head is the back of his body running for the train- running to get the last seat so we can look out the window
All I see is someone with potential
But for now these feelings are unrequited and will stay that way
Nov 14, 2013
Nov 14, 2013 at 5:57 AM UTC
so deeply
I fell for you
I am on the ground now
You caught me, then dropped me
My love..
Who- everything
What- happiness
Where- in my head, under my skin
When- always
Why- magic
How..
How did this happen?
How did we come down to this?
You walk away from me like I have meant so little to you and it pains me
All I wanted was you
Me
I am on the ground
I don't feel a need to get up
I don't feel a need to redeem myself
I am broken
I am dust
I am nothing special
I am gone
I close my eyes and I don't see things the same anymore
Not in my head, in my head there's you.
What I wanted of us
Then a tear escapes
I let the dream leave me
And I sleep
I wake and the first thing on my mind is you
Happiness, love, you, I crave
Then a tear,
Then an ocean,
Then the need to sleep again
I just want to sleep
No more tears.
No more broken dreams
Nov 9, 2013
Nov 9, 2013 at 11:45 PM UTC