it’s funny what your mind forgets
when it’s trying to protect you
from the past
Mar 31, 2020
Mar 31, 2020 at 7:12 PM UTC
she spent so many nights at my door
i thought she would visit and leave
but now she’s in the ******* spare room
Mar 19, 2020
Mar 19, 2020 at 10:13 PM UTC
i have never touched anything without destroying it
so let me touch myself for you, baby
watch
as
i
rot
Mar 19, 2020
Mar 19, 2020 at 10:07 PM UTC
i’m haunted by a word, no, a murmur
a laughing, lilting lullaby that echoes inside my ears
and crawls around the walls of my head on all fours.
it’s a ***** dogged ******* with a bullet for a tongue and, in turn, a mouth like a loaded gun
and maybe that is why my brain bleeds
i’ve never known how to fall in love without dying
i’ve never known how to love without killing myself
i have never known how to love myself and another simultaneously
and so the word "love" is evil and it is poisoned
and it is still dripping with the spit of my former lovers from when they carelessly let it drip off of their tongues and into my dry, panting mouth
and i drank it in greedily because i was so parched for affection and i lacked the emotion that i thought a lover could give me
when they were actually absorbing every ounce that i had and using it for their own god **** glow
let’s talk about the fact that i’ve been run dry
and that the hollows of my bones are filled with dust
and that my heart is caught in such a drought that it’s cracking and chipping and breaking as we speak
and now my lungs are burning from all the cigarettes
and my throat is charred from how many times i've caved in and told you that i love you
but i'll admit that every time you say it back it's like you're pouring honey into my open mouth
Jul 16, 2017
Jul 16, 2017 at 10:43 PM UTC
i’ve been cursed with eyes that wander and a heart that bleeds
with a head that pounds and a tongue that screams
i can’t help that i’m so evil, the devil lives inside of me
i’ve got a lingering wickedness that lives in my bones
i know that you love me, that’s why i think you should know
that i’m just a puppet putting on a show
i’m sorry you’re cursed to fall in love with me
yes, i said cursed, because you’ll never be free
i’ll keep you in chains until the day that i die
and babygirl, even then, you’ll still be mine late at night
Dec 29, 2015
Dec 29, 2015 at 5:06 PM UTC
i’m haunted by a word, no, a murmur
a laughing, lilting lullaby that echoes inside my ears
and crawls around the walls of my head on all fours.
it’s a ***** dogged ******* with a bullet for a tongue and, in turn, a mouth like a loaded gun
and maybe that is why my brain bleeds
i’ve never known how to fall in love without dying
i’ve never known how to love without killing myself
i have never known how to love myself and another simultaneously
and so the word "love" is evil and it is poisoned
and it is still dripping with the spit of my former lovers from when they carelessly let it drip off of their tongues and into my cotton mouth
and i drank it in greedily because i was so parched for affection and i lacked the emotion that i thought a lover could give me
when they were actually absorbing every ounce that i had and using it for their own god **** glow
let’s talk about the fact that i’ve been run dry
and that the hollows of my bones are filled with dust
and that my heart is caught in such a drought that it’s cracking and chipping and breaking as we speak
and now my lungs are burning from all the cigarettes
and my throat is charred from how many times i've caved in and told you that i love you
but i'll admit that every time you say it back it's like you're pouring something ice cold into my open mouth
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 3:53 PM UTC
i’ve got ghosts curling out of my mouth and they’re dancing with my cigarette smoke
they’re pressing their vacant mouths to the nicotine lips
wispy entrails of fog intertwine with the skeletal hands of my past selves
i feel like i’m intruding on an intimacy not meant for my eyes
like i’m witnessing the kind of love i’ve never known
but it’s desperate and needy and grabby and it gets uglier the longer you look
and what i thought was a love story looks more like horror
what i thought was a tender touch was just the beginnings of a hand closing around a throat
what i thought was a kiss was just the beginnings of a soul being ****** from the inside out
but then suddenly i’m smoking a cigarette filter and it seems the story is over.
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 3:47 PM UTC
a re-lit cigarette never tastes the same
the stale smoke is thinner and quieter and drier than the usual tar-based fog
your mouth always tasted like the pomegranate lip balm you wore
(the lip balm i always stole in your absence because i missed your mouth on mine)
mixed with the sharp bite of your cigarette smoke
i smoked reds
you smoked blacks
and in turn, my taste changed to match yours because you are my favorite flavor
and i remember the day when you kissed me
and your lips tasted like a re-lit cigarette
and it wasn’t even a marlboro
and i knew you didn’t love me anymore
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 3:45 PM UTC
My baby's got it wrong-
She thinks she tastes like vinegar,
And that she's made of acid that will burn you from the inside out.
When really she's sweeter than the candy she eats,
And the taste of her makes my jaw ache.
My baby's got it wrong-
She thinks her tongue is a weapon that's been forged in her faults,
And that the iron of her heart is still smoldering angrily from the heat.
When really her kiss cools the fever in my head,
And she soothes the burns on my mind.
My baby's got it wrong-
She thinks she goes down like a pill that's swallowed dry,
And that her love gets caught in my throat.
When really she glides across my tongue like cough syrup,
And I think she's curing me of the cold that's in my heart.
Sep 29, 2015
Sep 29, 2015 at 1:43 PM UTC
never been too good at love
well, i mean, i thought i was
that was when you first came along
but now you're gone and i know i was wrong
every single kiss that you press to her cheek
i know that you don't ever think of me
i was never enough to mean that much
it's okay, you're not the only one
i don't love you like i used to, i swear that i don't
i know i wasn't the best, but you didn't have to go
i've never been loved, i never will be
i don't matter enough to be loved properly
it's okay, don't worry, there's a pattern here
you're not the first to leave me,
or the first to disappear.
you won't be the last, that much is true
so i may as well give up, we both know that's nothing new
i don't know what happened, it's all just a blur
i wish that you'd wanted me the way you want her
but it's done now, i'm alone, and trust me it's fine
i don't need you anymore, so i guess that's goodbye
Sep 16, 2015
Sep 16, 2015 at 11:03 AM UTC