I crawl into my nook under a warm blanket of self-love. Darkness fills my void and I succumb to sleep.
The sheep I count are green and three-legged, there’s daisies for clouds and orange grass. I’m soaring through space outside of some distant planet’s atmosphere. I’m on my feet, on my block.
Suddenly, the warmth is pulled from me like a turkey baster fills with broth. And I feel a bony hand on the square of my back. It’s cold and it seems to come into me.
I’m wide awake.
The unwavering attendance of the Ghost Insomnia fills me like hate. I toss I turn, I feel it so close. It begins to warm me from the inside out. My eyes soon feel fuzzy, and bounce around in my skull; I can no longer read the time on the clock. My lips feel chapped shut, I can only breathe through my nose now. Shapes being to shift.
Where are you taking me?
Do you know what you’ve done to me?
And yet, each time morning arrives and the golden sun stretches across the sky and peaks through my window, I watch it do so. I watch it as the dark night sky soon turns lighter. It then becomes a light blue - the color of day and quickly transitions to a honey colored haze.
The sandbags under my eyes could’ve saved New Orleans.
Where are you taking me?
Feb 28, 2014
Feb 28, 2014 at 1:36 PM UTC
The wind whirls
and traffic stops
Bring on the rain
and watch it pour for miles
all around
Thoughts and dreams melt from the sky
To be there with you is one thing
to have you with me is another
Waiting patiently
sometimes too anxious
I turn again to patience
Time ticks as the rain falls
as will the sun
Though it rises
and we have our victories
it soon shall set
upon our defeats
Rise with the sun
not after
and realize the prosperity one has
of being free
Free from all ideas, demands, wants, greed
evil and need
I fight my way against the traffic
as does the rain against
windshields
I’m greedy too I tell myself
but aren’t we all?
Feb 28, 2014
Feb 28, 2014 at 1:32 PM UTC
There are too many people I find beautiful. Beautiful in thousands of other ways than just their appearance. Their beauty is captivating, like a vase full of different kinds of flowers.
You pick it up when you think it needs water and you move it over to the sink, but somehow I always end up dropping myself.
A vase of flowers wouldn’t know to pick up the pieces.
Feb 28, 2014
Feb 28, 2014 at 1:29 PM UTC
To stand atop the tallest mountain, I would not be high enough.
To scream louder than a million decibels, I would not be loud enough.
To sink to the bottomest depth, I would not be hidden.
To freeze in time, I could not escape.
I desire to escape all but what I want.
But what we want, not need, we are inherent in failure.
Feb 28, 2014
Feb 28, 2014 at 1:25 PM UTC
Burn.
Yes, burn as a fire should
and melt away icicles that threaten your
livelihood.
Feb 6, 2014
Feb 6, 2014 at 3:28 PM UTC
Ton sourire fait rire les oiseaux,
ton cœur fait chanter les abeilles,
ton façon de vivre fait parler les fleurs,
ton esprit fait danser mon cœur.
Jan 7, 2013
Jan 7, 2013 at 7:40 AM UTC
I used to enjoy writing.
I used to hate the government.
I used to be expressive.
I used to love you.
I used to be young and foolish.
I grew up.
I gained a tainted mind, spoiled by reality.
I used to be naive, gullible - now I’m shocked and upset by reality.
It’s not what my mind perceived.
I’m mad at myself.
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013 at 5:57 PM UTC
A cigarette for the
lungs,
a cup of tea for the
heart & head,
a large, white pill &
it's off to bed.
Dec 30, 2012
Dec 30, 2012 at 6:29 PM UTC
I love you.
I want to introduce you to my parents. I want to tell the world about you and how happy you make me. I want everyone to ******* know - I don’t care how many times I’d have to say it.
I love spending time with you and having you in my presence; it makes me happy.
I love your smile, it makes me happy. It makes me forget all the ****** things in life, if but for a few moments.
I love looking in your eyes, it makes me feel warm inside.
I love hugging you, it makes me feel important to hold you and be the only one holding you and protecting you from everything else. I wish I could hold you more.
I love your laugh, it makes my soul dance.
I love the way you walk away from me, purposefully - I know you’ll be back.
I love talking with you, you’re so smart (much smarter than me). You know how much I love to talk, and I’d stop the world to listen to you forever.
I know my past relationship was unexpected, but that’s over now - I realized how stupid I was for getting myself into a mess like that and I hope you know that too.
I’d love to sit on the couch in front of the fireplace watching movies you enjoy watching, sitting close together under the blankets with you in my arms.
I love walking down the beach with you, watching the waves break and slam into the shore. I know it scares you, but one day, I’d help you overcome that fear if you’d trust me enough.
I’d love to buy you gifts (not too often though, because you know I’m poor, but rich in love), they’d be from the heart.
I’d love to lay in bed with you, my arm around your side and listen to your heart beat methodically. And I’d love to wake up next to you, the sun bouncing off your face and hair as you blink the dreams from your eyes.
You calm me down, I’d quit smoking cigarettes if I was with you - that’s the only stress relief I need. And I believe you’re truly the only other person who understands me the most. You don’t fully know me yet and I feel I know less about you, however, but I’m more than willing to change that.
If you could just give me that one chance to prove to you I can change in ways you couldn’t imagine, you’d make my life complete.
If I only had the courage to tell you these things. If only I wasn’t so ******* stupid.
Dec 28, 2012
Dec 28, 2012 at 7:11 PM UTC
"Planes are mysterious" she told me.
I've taken my fair share of plane rides on various distances,
but I never understood the mystery.
"They take you so far away
so quickly."
"A creepy house,
a dead animal on the side of the road,
uncles,
and politics are mysterious."
"Then you don't understand the joy," she says,
"Of packing a bag and leaving.
The next time you talk to people,
you're a hundred, or a thousand miles away.
That's the mystery."
"Where will you be tomorrow?" I demanded.
Dec 24, 2012
Dec 24, 2012 at 10:34 PM UTC