I could walk until the rain pours
Watch the sun and moon move in their dance
Despite the aftermath
I have built worlds on my own
With the grief and pain I held for so long
I survived all
I used to think it was my fate to be there
I only waited to be loved by someone like you
But you don't seem to believe it
You don't see what I believe in
So many nights I have wondered
You don’t seem to think about me
Not like you used to
I have held your grief for so long
I told you my worst
And you stood by my fears
But this time,
I cannot hold them on my own
All I know from where we stand
You don’t seem to know me
You don’t seem to love me
The same way I fell for you
My body torn from the tragedy
Of few encounters and being used up
I have let all consume me
I could have walked until the end
I could have walked all the way
Until I could never turn to see you again
So many nights I have wondered
You don’t seem to love me
Not like you used to
I have held you for so long
Sep 21, 2025
Sep 21, 2025 at 2:19 PM UTC
i have lost all faculty
words do not say as much
as warmth could never be enough
in the cold weather
all i want is to see your face again
under the covers
all i want is to be surrounded
by your presence
and to feel as much
as i can hold
and we could be strangers again
so i could watch it all unfold
May 28, 2021
May 28, 2021 at 8:05 AM UTC
the taste of coffee liquor
mixed with the scent of you
caramel tainted lips
and musky cream-filled notes
left without a word
constantly on the edge
of wanting
the stark contrast
with bitter nicotine
and you
deciphering
the rain washes over
our bodies anew
we are clean
Apr 10, 2021
Apr 10, 2021 at 7:06 AM UTC
Far off and stretched out from my seat
You and I meet at the corner
Just to waste the time
Far away and longing
The warmth from the LED lights
Blends in with the glare from your eyes
Liquid dissolves into all this time
Lines never seem to meet
your eyes never stop to wander
Stray away from me
Standing across the line
Come away
Away from sight
Apr 1, 2021
Apr 1, 2021 at 10:40 AM UTC
wanting to hold you close
as i listen to your stereo
making ideas with your brilliant head
i made a pact with your hand
to never send a word
less than you deserve
feeling so close
yet so unaware
too eager to find you
Mar 20, 2021
Mar 20, 2021 at 12:24 PM UTC
I see the glimmer of your eyes
when the sky dissolves into dark
behind the dashboard and
playing games to pass the time
I see your thick-rimmed frames
square and unrelenting
a smile that invites mine
underneath the layers
I see the dark dissolve into light
as I unfold in my own room
I dream of dreams
without trying to sleep
my mind has mapped you
into this reality where
I want to stay awake
I see the night dissolve
I see the glimmer behind your eyes
In the morning, we meet again.
Mar 15, 2021
Mar 15, 2021 at 3:12 AM UTC
I tried crying for days without blinking
I had to sleep again
I tried screaming for help
but all I had left was this body
No voice, no soul, nor dream
Just alive in a nightmare.
I tried thinking of an escape without screaming
I tried to pretend I was alive
I moved away and told you to stop
You pretend you didn’t hear
And said “I only needed this now”
I tried moving my limbs
but I couldn’t pretend
I was alive
Inside we both knew
I was already dead.
Dec 26, 2020
Dec 26, 2020 at 11:01 AM UTC
Some days I like to pretend other things matter
most of the time my days go unnoticed
and I only exist as a pulled apart doll
I pretend you were never here
I slept as I had slept
before my arms knew what tugging felt like
before my head had met your pillow
there was a time before
your eyes had not glanced at me
for a while
there I was never knowing
what love had meant for me
Dec 26, 2020
Dec 26, 2020 at 10:49 AM UTC
When I think of love, I see The Ruins. It is you at your worst state and yet I still held your hand. It is seeing eyes turn into darkness that I thought I could hold and breathe into. It is feeding your coldness and bitterness with the warmth of a smile and a touch. To love you was to see you in ruins. It is laughing at the most unhappy moments. It is in smiling to get through the day. To not see your face the way I thought I had memorized in my brain. To not see you in dreams and only see you in nightmares. To look at synthetic leather and be reminded of your violence. To smell the scent of car perfume and be reminded of suffocating. To finally wake up and see your eyes the way they always saw mine and the way you held them without knowing who I am. To feel the thin hair on your head as I graze through it with my fingertips. To have you lie beneath my shoulder or against my chest, knowing what it cost me and what it meant to you. To see your most vulnerable spots and know where it hid without looking. To feel the weight of your arm as it lazily naps on me while I am struggling to find the warmth of a blanket. To discard your words and believe my own. To deny myself the right to my own body as you pushed me and have to explain that it hurt. To believe in your heart despite seeing it all. To see the highlights of your face against the sun and watch it dissolve when its dark and the room is empty. To never see you again. And still, to know that I have loved. To love is to see yourself in ruins and still accept it as if it had ever been anything close to love.
Dec 20, 2020
Dec 20, 2020 at 1:40 AM UTC
i relished in the waiting
a hand on a hand
a voice whispered to lips
a lie revealed itself
i stayed in the moment
before waking up at dusk
before the light surrounded me
when your voice lingered
on my mind until dawn
i have seen this play along
all in my dreams
where you stood
and bended over backwards
and broke your words
the sanctuary of your soul
the smell of the familiar
i relished in the comfort
a hand on a hand
a body on a body
a warmth on warmth
the water engulfed itself
where you hid
with a head dive
to reach the surface of desire
nothing keeps me up at night
other than word is finally out
Nov 13, 2020
Nov 13, 2020 at 8:58 AM UTC