She says,
Smile more
He says,
Look you got to freak out a little less
And I wait
They say if you’re quiet enough,
You start to hear your own voice
I can’t decide if that’s a good thing
He picks me up and I dumb myself down
Rinses me down while I size myself up
Width is still one word I can’t say without biting my tongue too much at the end
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 1:41 PM UTC
He is a head and a half taller than me and I have memorized this from the way his eyes are always downcast, and I,
Am always reaching for the hot, wet peak of his tongue
There is a dull pain in my neck but it shies in comparison to the dormant ache,
Asleep between my thighs
With calculated moves he stirs it to a raging fire
Even when I swear there’s enough humidity in the room to blanket this desire
He licks his lips, and they are the semi-perfect shade of vermillion glossed over with evil intent
And he swivels me around and whispers, turn around, when his body is already draped across the arch of mine
And in this moment, being this close,
friction is enough to **** me
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 1:40 PM UTC
My lover saves his words,
he tucks them under his tongue
I chew on his serifs,
Aerated, punctuated, hyphenated
His desires, they get caught in my teeth
the boldness of them wearing on my enamel
And then,
his smile melts onto my tongue
I push it behind my cheek, our own
little secret, sweetheart
Now I’m smiling too
And he hasn’t said a word.
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 1:38 PM UTC
The cracks in his palm give me just enough room to slip into them
Waist deep
Sandwiched between hot flesh
And oxygenated blood
From all the breaths he stole from my lungs
We love with open mouths and open limbs
What we do is more than just a fist slamming against a palm
It is not dirt I gather under my fingernails
But the primal way we learnt to stake our claim
I am digging into muscle
You are drilling into bone
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 1:35 PM UTC
Who are we kidding
when we place a bottle to our lips and
try to call it a marriage of some sort
the last thing I remember
a straw between my teeth then
your ear in its place
fast forward to me counting the steps to your door
1, 2, 3.. 6.. 14..25
I was barely 13 before I was taught love was a call to arms,
not a veritable verb
you told me it was good enough
holding it in my palm
and really I should’ve known
when every attempt at romance was nothing above a whisper
how I was your best kept secret at 15
at 19, I still unravel under the influence
my cup is empty from the nights I gave you so much it
tumbled
into the morning after but all that was left to grab at was
your hair on my pillow,
you were spontaneous like that, weren’t you?
and I,
hey, why won’t you just lighten up?
You fancied flight and I only wanted the pebbles
crushed beneath my plimsolls
telling me all I ever needed to know,
that
the smallest only get stifled more
and before I knew it
I was a crushed up beer can,
insides still wet *god **** it*
coursing real liquid in real time
just
so
I could live to love you
and you tell me, sobriety hurts
like I’m only beautiful when I’m a blur
oh sweetheart,
if only you knew how pretty your eyes were
before they rolled to the back of your head,
and sweetheart,
I hope you make it home tonight.
and that home,
is you retching on the floor,
on your knees because that’s where you liked me best.
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 1:33 PM UTC
kissing you was like swerving into oncoming traffic
i can never tell if i am more haunted by empty picture frames or the ashes of their contents
you taught me that the saying "pick your battles" meant not answering when love was at the door
sometimes when i drink whiskey i swear i can hear your voice in the creases of my bedsheets & i sleep on the floor
i still catch myself running my hands over things you touched the most, looking for the echoes of your fingertips
i practice things i'll never say to you
i remember the day you told me you didn't like poetry, how "everything's already been said" & how "nothing meaningful can be captured without being cliche" you know, i don't miss you like the sun and moon, i do not miss you like tide bent waves crashing on the shoreline, i miss you like a chernobyl swingset misses children
rumor has it that drowning is a lot like coming home, that drinking bleach can **** the butterflies in your stomach
for your love of cigarettes, i would have been an ashtray
this halloween i want to dress up as the you when you loved yourself and show up on your doorstep
i never understood what you meant when you said i was an instrument, back when you would cup your hands around my chest and breathe through the holes in my heart, i still wonder if the sounds i made remind you of wind chimes
i never paid much attention to abandoned buildings until i became one
in my dreams all the flowers smell like your perfume
i am the only person who has ever wished for the same snowflake to fall twice
if i could go back, and rewrite the definition of audacity, it would be how when we lost the bet of love, you said "we never shook on it"
i love you, if the feeling is not mutual, please pretend this was a poem
the only apology i want from you, is to have you repeat the names of children we will never have in your parents living room until they *****
we are the same person if you find yourself up at 4am dry heaving promises, or if you are kept awake by the laughter of those who've abandoned you
nobody ever told you that goodbyes taste like the back of stamps
sometimes i'm convinced that the only reason we hug, is so you can check my back for exit wounds
May 27, 2014
May 27, 2014 at 12:54 AM UTC