We came together at an odd crossroads
Tumultuous paths the decision yet to come
I wish we could have met later
I can see we could make each other happy
But not now
Not at this point in our lives
Too much going on
Too much indecision
You and I are not meant for now
We've met at this crossroads
Sharing the same look in our eyes
Hunger
Want
Desire
But not now between us
We've conversed at this crossroads
An obvious connection most definitely
But something held back the intimacy
Some feeling that if we connected now
These crossroads would be our home
That cannot be, our hearts crave adventure
But down different paths we must travel
I hope our paths cross again later
Who knows what the future will hold
I only know
Not now
Jan 22, 2016
Jan 22, 2016 at 4:27 PM UTC
I held the gun to my head
Loaded .357
Blow my head off
It'll be better
The cutting didn't help anymore
No physical pain hurt deep enough
To dull my tormented soul
I pulled the trigger
.
.
.
Nothing.
The chamber refused to release it's fiery doom upon me
That'll make you feel more a failure
**** I couldn't even **** myself right
That's a kick to the soul
To hear the click of that hammer fall, and nothing
To be left still seated and alive
Oct 28, 2013
Oct 28, 2013 at 12:24 AM UTC
They say you shouldn't drink your feelings away don't they?
Well I'm trying my damnedest, and it's not working.
I try to drink you off my mind like those old country songs.
I try to drink myself to sleep hoping I don't dream of you.
Neither work
The drunker I get the more space you take in my head
I fear the sleep will never come
My decade long battle with the insomnia that consumes my mind
Only seems amplified with you stuck in it
What am I to do?
I guess I'll drink some more, and maybe morning won't come to find me.
Oct 28, 2013
Oct 28, 2013 at 12:15 AM UTC
underneath all of my ******** narcinarcissism
the real me hides
Oct 25, 2013
Oct 25, 2013 at 6:44 PM UTC
In the time since
I haven't got you off my mind
Mostly everything
Everything I could have said
Everything I should have said
I fear though my chance to say it all, is past
What have I done with my silence
What have I not done is the greater prose
My soul cries out in the dark
In the time since
Oct 20, 2013
Oct 20, 2013 at 11:55 PM UTC
Is it really so narcissistic of me
To have the desire to be the person
To make someone's life better?
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013 at 9:25 AM UTC
There are chinks in my walls though tall they may be
Spots of weakness
Where mortar and brick were placed too hastily
To cover up what was
I stand an ever watchful guard upon the parapets
Unwilling to unbar the gate
Willing to fight to keep all out
I sit alone in my false castle
A great and powerful facade for me to hide within
A projection of an image rather than reflection in truth
If left to my own these walls will only grow
Left behind them to rot
They serve to build a fear of what lies beyond those walls
Almost like the walls themselves
I willingly seclude myself from the greatest opportunities
Because it is easy. No
Because I fear they be only half broken by someone
To be able to see over the edge
Yet still too high to make that leap
I have seen that path
These walls still show the marks of repair
Like the rings on a tree
They mark the passing of loves, friends and family
I beg of you
Lay siege on my walls
I'm ready to see these walls come down around me
Bring your greatest canon and siege works
Although I am ready they will not fall without a fight
Take aim at these chinks, those great fears piled like stone
They will hold fast for they are old and high
Yet no wall can stand forever
They will fall
Walls will tumble and turn to dust
From the dust I will emerge free of these prison walls
To see the world firsthand good and bad
Please I beg of you
Lay siege to my false castle
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013 at 4:50 AM UTC
I flip through, song after song.
Playlist after playlist
Looking for those sounds to sooth my soul
Nothing seems to cut it tonight
I only wish to hear you sing
To the world
To me
I only wish to hear you sing
Sep 23, 2013
Sep 23, 2013 at 2:58 AM UTC