travis-1 - Hello Poetry

As I sit here reading words that ring so right with me I am still afraid What is it? -old beliefs none of the folklore makes sense to me Yet the fear prevails how can I not let go? Why can I not let go? Seeing truly that we are nothing but our beliefs ... I am missing something Is it a belief Yes A belief of frailty I can not seem to put out of my person that I would not have chosen my childhood? only my perfection would choose that existence And if it is not what I remember why would I remember it? It makes sense the Christ - but why the circle ness? to create and how does that create ? energy The ones that spoke to gods were speakers, teachers , mediums sensitive What made them valid then was but the people's beliefs If that is indeed the case then we truly are doomed Or shifting- To machine? Or energy? all are so entranced by the gruesomeness of it all never the joy We want to share bad It is the energy that creates the chaos on a global scale But how can we shift it? by ignoring it then fear A trap? if the devil was indeed cast out of heaven my question is which one? And has it just become a game of energy? each feeding the same source? yet we choose to feel and spread only chaos? in fact then we are the fodder for existence or all that is if it's all the same why do we keep perpetuating it? to create

0

Feb 23, 2013

Feb 23, 2013 at 2:38 PM UTC

travis-1

to create

As I sit here reading words that ring so right with me I am still afraid What is it? -old beliefs none of the folklore makes sense to me Yet the fear prevails how can I not let go? Why can I not let go? Seeing truly that we are nothing but our beliefs ... I am missing something Is it a belief Yes A belief of frailty I can not seem to put out of my person that I would not have chosen my childhood? only my perfection would choose that existence And if it is not what I remember why would I remember it? It makes sense the Christ - but why the circle ness? to create and how does that create ? energy The ones that spoke to gods were speakers, teachers , mediums sensitive What made them valid then was but the people's beliefs If that is indeed the case then we truly are doomed Or shifting- To machine? Or energy? all are so entranced by the gruesomeness of it all never the joy We want to share bad It is the energy that creates the chaos on a global scale But how can we shift it? by ignoring it then fear A trap? if the devil was indeed cast out of heaven my question is which one? And has it just become a game of energy? each feeding the same source? yet we choose to feel and spread only chaos? in fact then we are the fodder for existence or all that is if it's all the same why do we keep perpetuating it? to create

43

oh moon I see you perched and peeking Behind goblin clouds you like me Seek just a trifle space to allow your beams to trickle Down it is apparent your just decides To show your full fool self Or hide Not aware Of what's Inside A limited view and we the few Slowly seeping weeping wishful thinking come out come out and we can play And your reply oh nay nay - you see my friend, I ~ like you prefer the day Travis

0

Feb 22, 2013

Feb 22, 2013 at 6:08 PM UTC

travis-1

space

oh moon I see you perched and peeking Behind goblin clouds you like me Seek just a trifle space to allow your beams to trickle Down it is apparent your just decides To show your full fool self Or hide Not aware Of what's Inside A limited view and we the few Slowly seeping weeping wishful thinking come out come out and we can play And your reply oh nay nay - you see my friend, I ~ like you prefer the day Travis

33

follow your bliss- my bliss? Follow your heart- the heart that is shattered? selecting a single splinter? you must trust yourself you must know yourself I lay my thread bare soul on the ground and stare. shredded, tattered and dingy yet still- always seeking what else must I do To be me? is this me? or now? Wait--- is this me? -yet? still when cornered like prey contempt and remorse oozes from my pores at once You did this- BUT YOU DID THIS TO ME! how could you- why would you? what did I ever do to you? it's me alone distracting and attracting always hiding- waiting to be found by the dense shadows on the outside. duality duplicity my own back in which repeatedly and magically stabbed the stench of regret wafts up knowing engorged nostrils sting I've pierced myself once again - barely relinquishing a dab of the putridness, greedily turning and twisting the pain in my fists wringing the sopping rag out in hopes of just one more use... with the always present possibility of finally spinning this life story to gold Travis 2/18/13

0

Feb 18, 2013

Feb 18, 2013 at 9:58 PM UTC

travis-1

spinning

follow your bliss- my bliss? Follow your heart- the heart that is shattered? selecting a single splinter? you must trust yourself you must know yourself I lay my thread bare soul on the ground and stare. shredded, tattered and dingy yet still- always seeking what else must I do To be me? is this me? or now? Wait--- is this me? -yet? still when cornered like prey contempt and remorse oozes from my pores at once You did this- BUT YOU DID THIS TO ME! how could you- why would you? what did I ever do to you? it's me alone distracting and attracting always hiding- waiting to be found by the dense shadows on the outside. duality duplicity my own back in which repeatedly and magically stabbed the stench of regret wafts up knowing engorged nostrils sting I've pierced myself once again - barely relinquishing a dab of the putridness, greedily turning and twisting the pain in my fists wringing the sopping rag out in hopes of just one more use... with the always present possibility of finally spinning this life story to gold Travis 2/18/13

44

we form our own reality. I see it now- everything is truly what we believe it to be. And that sheer knowledge has made my inner balance teeter of late. there is just so very much to understand...and then reference. ----that it becomes daunting. I can see that it's truly my thoughts but I never seem to be able to slow them down fast enough when I so need to. It appears to be an unending thirst to play- to know what I want - to have the patience to propel the desire. It's humbling when you realize it. All that is- is on a grid of sorts... And that there is something you should enjoy but yet can't keep you wheels in the same direction long enough. It's spaciously lonely. a fork in the road that joy appears to be chosen but its bricks always lose their guiding yellow. And when you look inside there maybe really is nothing except what you've been told and now they are your beliefs. I always seem to end up beside the river of beliefs. And I can see why man had to create a savior. It's hard to realize how much pain you've inflicted upon yourself - selfish painful jabs at ones that betrayed you as well. Never even coming close to an ember of their being shredding yours in the poignant process. You were told you were bad because you were bad and then you became worse and it gave you purpose. You were good at being bad- you like the spilled milk and spiked brows. You were the beautiful one. It was not nurtured properly. I can see glimpses of it- yet completely out of reach. I like it turned down a bit now ~with anything.

0

Aug 27, 2012

Aug 27, 2012 at 3:53 PM UTC

travis-1

fine tuning

we form our own reality. I see it now- everything is truly what we believe it to be. And that sheer knowledge has made my inner balance teeter of late. there is just so very much to understand...and then reference. ----that it becomes daunting. I can see that it's truly my thoughts but I never seem to be able to slow them down fast enough when I so need to. It appears to be an unending thirst to play- to know what I want - to have the patience to propel the desire. It's humbling when you realize it. All that is- is on a grid of sorts... And that there is something you should enjoy but yet can't keep you wheels in the same direction long enough. It's spaciously lonely. a fork in the road that joy appears to be chosen but its bricks always lose their guiding yellow. And when you look inside there maybe really is nothing except what you've been told and now they are your beliefs. I always seem to end up beside the river of beliefs. And I can see why man had to create a savior. It's hard to realize how much pain you've inflicted upon yourself - selfish painful jabs at ones that betrayed you as well. Never even coming close to an ember of their being shredding yours in the poignant process. You were told you were bad because you were bad and then you became worse and it gave you purpose. You were good at being bad- you like the spilled milk and spiked brows. You were the beautiful one. It was not nurtured properly. I can see glimpses of it- yet completely out of reach. I like it turned down a bit now ~with anything.

32

I look at my skin to find the very same dots found on the fern I can find them in my sleeping thoughts as well as wide awake Even behind resting lids the spindly lines on the leaf match the blue on the forearm the ridges of a nail bark does the elm recognize my follicles as grass?

0

Aug 27, 2012

Aug 27, 2012 at 3:41 PM UTC

travis-1

patterns

I look at my skin to find the very same dots found on the fern I can find them in my sleeping thoughts as well as wide awake Even behind resting lids the spindly lines on the leaf match the blue on the forearm the ridges of a nail bark does the elm recognize my follicles as grass?

7

I want to be able to sit in the complete middle of nowhere - still. have no where to be and no one to sooth just myself And somehow know how to do it To be sated And quiet -still assured Right Majestic Knowing Calm Perfection Unobtrusive A piece of it all And still sustain breath Still.

0

Aug 27, 2012

Aug 27, 2012 at 3:35 PM UTC

travis-1

still

I want to be able to sit in the complete middle of nowhere - still. have no where to be and no one to sooth just myself And somehow know how to do it To be sated And quiet -still assured Right Majestic Knowing Calm Perfection Unobtrusive A piece of it all And still sustain breath Still.

17