i was raised by angry people
theres no way of putting
that is softer
i was raised with no laughter
younger, i feared lots
shattered glasses, knots
loud noises and blood clots
but on newer moons, something new
blooms in my brain
memories, not by a migraine
or maybe something that symbolizes it
something perfect, at least what i can imagine
is to make a wish everyone could see
because even if i left these people
i remain angry like them
i am not afraid of shattered glasses,
loud basses..
but of myself.
and what hell could be like.
am i alike?
2d ago
Jun 1, 2026 at 5:53 PM UTC
I’ve been known by lots..
identity or not
they hold to me like knots
surely.. but never looked deep in my eyes
i guess you can’t guess what’s in there
the opening to the soul
that i cannot call
nor can you!
not with a clue.
but there’s a need
to be called by my name
not what they called me
but what i am.
i don’t know myself
i don’t know what lies in my eyes
and I don’t know my thoughts
but I do know my name
and it’s ivan
2d ago
Jun 1, 2026 at 5:52 PM UTC
dear mama
as i grow, i slowly break my promise,
the one made years and years ago.
it was slow, and i couldn’t bear to meet his stare
dear mama,
i owe you my deepest apologies.
is it my fault you refuse to raise me, that your love’s at stake?
but it is not my fault
that you couldn’t keep me awake
mother, i feared becoming him,
and he despises me for being alike.
.does the fault lie with him?
as i grew, i couldn’t help but wonder,
a wish i could wake
from this awful slumber
when you come back
“perhaps…”
so i could feel your touch,your gaze, maybe your voice, through rain, through pain, and through stains
mother, i tried to change myself
to be like you
i owe you my sincerest, deepest apologies,
for you and only you, mama.
2d ago
Jun 1, 2026 at 5:51 PM UTC
i can’t help but have dreams
maybe it seems
like they’re the only thing i seek
but i want to cling to you
my love, you’d have a clue
in a wooden cabin, unseen,
your arms around me in between
the walls that protect and keeps the world away
i am a lover, i know
too soft to take a blow
i lean on you more than i should
but still..
my heart glows where i stood.
Apr 18
Apr 18, 2026 at 6:57 PM UTC
dear prophecy,
you have never replied to me
i know that for you,
i am no one dearly,
and your gaze drifts away
whenever it finds me clearly
but yet you stare right through me
not nearly, but into me
touching my lips
with a kiss, you whisper
leaving no blisters.
and yet, i am no one dearly.
not clearly, but quietly
in a short stance
my fate finds itself
in your hands
dear prophecy,
i am nothing,
nothing but yours
Apr 13
Apr 13, 2026 at 1:45 PM UTC
i like how the sunset goes down..
melts into my golden skin
and cuts my arm
but I’m still away from harm
i like how the sea looks when it’s at night
my cuts and burns still give me fright
but I am the sailor of this ship
with me in command, no one trips
no one dares to cut my arms for fuel
but gone they are
every sunset, melting on the fire
the fire hums beneath the floor
it asks for more, and more, and more
i fed it names, i fed it faces
echoes lost in burning places
but i am the sailor of this ship
i hold the wheel with steady grip
the boat slows down, and stops
there’s nothing left for me to use
so i step closer to the flame,
and it forgets i had a name.
Apr 5
Apr 5, 2026 at 7:21 PM UTC
you’ll meet me where the forest kisses brine,
you’ll find me deep in earth, where roots entwine
circled by pines,
a quiet, endless, sacred kind of time.
you’ll take my hand while maggots feast,
you won’t look away
you won’t retreat
parts of me that once were only you
are torn apart, yet somehow still ring true.
and now, I give a future to larvae
deep into what we will be
they touch the thing you held so close above
the fading warmth, the echo of our love.
and as they feed,
they carry what we were,
a memory they’ll keep,
though they don’t know it,
they’ll cling to it as if it were their own true fate,
a truth they hold, though they can’t recreate.
and finally,
after decades,
we meet again.
our memory will dwindle with time
and our hearts will rot
but in the dark
beneath earth and rain
they keep what’s left of us
alive again.
Apr 4
Apr 4, 2026 at 9:32 AM UTC
your eyes reflect my blood in blue
like a soft ripple,
a tide, a curtain
fresh and cold, running through me
like a kiss in the rain
like your touch in the snow
it’s slow..
calming…
your hug, our hearts aligning
your eyes reflect my blood in blue
despite the pain, my sacrifice wasn’t in vain
oh, it runs in my veins,
the cold snap, your bite
it doesn’t hurt now.
not quite.
Mar 12
Mar 12, 2026 at 5:55 PM UTC
i sob.
disappointed, maybe.
but all i know
all i truly know
is that i sob.
it happened again.
i swore it wouldn’t.
i swore it in the dark
like an oath to no one,
or maybe to the god of time,
but it happened again.
i know, you knew all the words i called myself
they’re true now.
they were always true
they echo on my mouth.
on my mind,
heavy like metal, but ***** like rust.
but there was a time,
a time where I didn’t count days.
there was a time,
where I lived in the lamb’s soft fur,
away from fear.
there was a time,
where you were graced to look at me.
oh, but how the god of time is cruel!
he simply watches, and he knows everything.
but the only thing
the only thing that I truly know,
is that right now,
I sob.
Feb 15
Feb 15, 2026 at 5:13 PM UTC
blowing out candles
with the same awe when i see
them fade away
though when i close my eyes
my only wish was for them to stay
but didnt i enjoy watching them go?
even if the moment was nice,
even if the light comforted me,
i liked to watch the spark go
but.. somewhere deep in me..
wished for the blaze to stay.
Dec 20, 2025
Dec 20, 2025 at 10:26 AM UTC