The morning sun trickles through the curtains as a reminder of another day begins
finding the rhythm of life an echo of days past, just a picture out of time unable to break the
cycle of days leading to the recycling of moments of prior.
To hope and pray for a change to change my life to make me new was no where to be found. Placed my hope some thought to be safe, but not the case found pain and sadness in their wake. Anger, fighting, regret and mistreatment lead to exhaustion and feelings of coldness and emptiness.
When realization sparked like a light bulb going off in my head. This for all of it's faults was my prayer answered a change in my life to change my stagnant life and give it some heat good, bad or indifferent. So watch for the answers to your prayers they may not be as obvious as we think they should be.
Dec 5, 2013
Dec 5, 2013 at 10:38 PM UTC
Have you ever noticed life is a repetitive set of circumstances
one follows the other, with what seems to be a never ending
path of destruction, or blessing.
For what seems like a decade it has been raining a drizzle here
a spritz there. Enough to make me damp but not enough to soak me through.
As of late say the last two year I have been in a repeating cycle of a tropical depression.
Recently my heart was broken by the only woman I would trust with .
So as I started this statement (for this aint not poem) when it rains it pours but in
My case the ***** stole my umbrella.
So take this for what it is love it or hate it these are the nonsensical ramblings of a heart broken fool to lost in his own storm to see the light of day, longing for peace and for god sakes a little sunshine wouldn't hurt.
Aug 13, 2013
Aug 13, 2013 at 8:10 PM UTC
Oh selfish heart how can you lie
you love me then say good-bye
I wonder the wisdom in your choice's of life
Will you miss me when I am gone
will you notice when my arms aren't around you.
to abuse the love your given so freely so endless
for your own selfish desire for your own selfish world
you turn your heart away and change my love to a
hatred not felt before.
would never have thought I could hate you so
but now it safe to say you let me go
though I hate it and my heart is hurt
when love and hate collide no one survives
so enjoy you life do what you want
and when you finally slow down and start to look
around you will see yourself alone never to be happy always alone
may you see your path before you lose it all with no one and nothing to call yours
Aug 12, 2013
Aug 12, 2013 at 8:46 PM UTC
The choice is made the mode unsure with the taunting call of death ringing in my ears beckoning imploring me come.
Making the end seem all the more alluring I reach for the gun once so feared but now embraced by my callased hand
I deserve and crave deaths cold hand, I have lost so many including the love of my life,caused so much pain that iI am due.
To hear the sounds as the bullets are loaded sounds like the loss of seconds on the clock. With every bullet memory of those lost and pain I have caused.
The clip is full though only one would be needed, I stare at this instrument of death contemplating what it will feel like as the bullet pierces the skull and destroys my memory.
To those left behind I am sorry for the one last pain but u will quickly forget about me and move on with your lives be happy.
So I pick it up set my mind as to not back out, unlock the trigger And load the one round into the barrel the slowly I reach for the trigger shaking and scare but determined now is the time good bye
Mar 28, 2013
Mar 28, 2013 at 11:31 AM UTC
Loss of love with slow unintentional barbs and pokes
I have failed to nourish and cherish the love I have been blessed with
A lie no matter how small is a lie, why is the truth so hard to face so elusive to the conversation.
Why do I insist on hiding stupidity when it always finds its way out into the open to destroy what is fragile and easily sacrificed on a daily basis it seems my love for you.
What is lost is not easily found your eyes must be open and your heart willing, I may never get another chance to love you my soulmate and for that I will grieve till my last day on this planet.
You cannot and will not be replaced , for I cannot replace half of me with prosthetic for it isn't real just a false accommodation to fill the hole left with the loss of you.
I will take this moment and every moment following to plead my love and beg forgiveness. The time has come to face the obvious I have lost my love, and know your gone. May you find love, honesty and happiness all you couldn't with me.
I will wait for the day my heart stops hurting, though I hope it never does so I can never forget the pain I caused you and pay my pentence for my sins against you.
I love you
Mar 27, 2013
Mar 27, 2013 at 3:00 PM UTC
The pain felt because of pride and the need to be superior
To revenge some wrong percieved is not right no matter how turned or explained
If you can't be supportive you are not needed so move on
When looking for death and trying to stay positive I must remove that which pushes me toward the goal of death.
Why, why would you do this or be this way you have hurt me more then I can forgive or ever forget. The one I love isn't supposed to hurt me or the ones I love, but to hold me up and support me but you can't.
So we are done with the petty self serving hatred you carry yourself in shadows living in darkness and emptiness. Though you won't be alone you will find some man willing to accept your hatred and anger ignoring their own self respect to accept hour abuse.
Feb 19, 2013
Feb 19, 2013 at 4:02 PM UTC
Why must we lose our love of love
Are we so busy to monitor where love is
Are we so jaded that we dont even care
Love seems to be on the endangered species list and quickly dieing out
When we as a society, people, or person must fight to keep love alive it makes one wonder if it was ever alive at all or stillborn from conception.
I for one choose to live with the belief that Love is alive and well just ignored for it's simplicity.
Life is complicated with stresses piling up making our lives chaotic as a hurricane
with love being the eye of the storm, with most of us being bliwn away and never reaching the eye seeing the peace and calm that comes with it. So strap yourself in life is a storm of chaos and complexity dont give in hold firm for you will soon be in the eye and see the storm in a whole new way
Jan 10, 2013
Jan 10, 2013 at 2:58 PM UTC
I am engulfed in the pain of the day
always stalking me wishing me harm
with my life unimportant it leaves me to try and discover why want's my soul
I always think i find happiness but discover that it is an illusion and a lie
I cause pain everyday I remain here in this eartly coil
The pain has convinced me to avoid further distruction of oters hearts I must cause one last pain one more loss.
Though I question my head and the broken and painful heart I cannot dispute the logic that is derived.
So it may be best to say goodbye and remove the pain from my life and leave one last pain for you to get over and forget about me
Dec 6, 2012
Dec 6, 2012 at 7:49 PM UTC
I want to die
I want to give up
I want to end this pain
I am to afraid to do so by myself
Though I think of ways to do it all the time
I pray that some drunk wreckless driver will run the light and help me
or I might fall off the roof and break my neck.
Or that my heart will just break from all this pain and stop beating from from lack of will
I have done so much hurting to others though I thought it was for the better I withheld the truth that was important to another I love and it has hurt her and wrecked us.
The only good I had in my life is now gone and I have nothing left
though the talk of death is hard for some the thought of being dead brings me peace
to see those that went ahead and to finally be at peace with the pain of this world behind me
Is this the "note" they all look for to help understand or is it the rambling of a person without the ***** to **** themselves, I dont know maybe both.
I am sorry for hurting you and hope when you remember me you think of me fondly and shed a little tear for me. I love you and will miss you .
Dec 6, 2012
Dec 6, 2012 at 7:42 PM UTC
The darkness consumes my every thought dragging me to the corners of my mind.
There I find the memories of days gone by, hurt that was forgotten and joy never known.
My silent torment remains silent as the screams for help echo in the hollwness of the memories I store.
why won't they help me? Cant they hear me cry for someone to save me from myself, from that monster that haunts when I am unguarded and weak. That monster that stole my innocence that stole my childhood, and it wasn't alone as most monster aren't. God help the child trapped in this wretched soul for it is damaged and broken.
To repair a soul, a mind is almost impossible for you can't recover what was lost in a sea of darkess and fear. Forgivness would be a start to finding peace ost would say, but that is an elusive response to the evil that lurks in my memories, and futile to seek that which does not come.
I know the Lord has forgiven me for my past and sin, but I am not so easily persuaded to forive such hurt and betrayal of innocenece. The monster that brought the evil upon me is the worste some would say, but I beg to differ seeing the unknowing accomplice (those with the power to help but not the courage) the worste evil of them all and never worthy of forgivenenss.
Nov 16, 2012
Nov 16, 2012 at 11:09 PM UTC