Up until this day
Before I ever knew you
My heart was astray
My heart was once blue
Then you came my way
I had to shake off the dust
You said you wanted to stay
I knew it was time to give you my trust.
And if I must say
Opening up to you was a must
Everything felt okay
There was love not lust
Jul 13, 2018
Jul 13, 2018 at 7:47 AM UTC
I gaze into your brown eyes and feel like I could look into them forever
Caressing your face, I feel thankful
I need no other love but yours
Your fingers wrapped around mine
Your lips are soft and warm and when I pull away I can taste the sweet aftertaste of your mouth
I want more
Your sweet breath invites me for more
It fills me with a feeling I have no words for
An amazing feeling
A feeling only you my love are capable of providing
I want you forever
When you laugh I see nothing but pure beauty
Can everyone see what I see?
You’re glowing and your smile is lighting up the room
I can’t help but smile back
...Love....
So this is what it feels like to be in love
Who would of known..
I could do this for the rest of my life
I’m not going anywhere
That smile will never get old
What a great team we make
We build each other up
Just look at this strong foundation we are creating
With so much love and strength
Let’s keep this going my love
Together we can do anything
Jul 9, 2018
Jul 9, 2018 at 9:55 AM UTC
Memories are slowly fading
Of a past that once was mine
As I reflect upon them
I'm shocked I once believed it fine
Gentle hands stroked my skin
While harsh words spoke aloud
Stuck in a state of confusion
Living under a dark cloud
I gazed into her eyes
Searching for her soul
Perhaps she was broken
Healing her became my goal
For every sweet word I spoke
Every loving act I made
It was never good enough
Feelings just continued to fade
Even if it slowly killed me
I refused to give up on her
Believing that defined love
What a confused amateur
I glimpse over letters
Of words we once wrote
Of journals my heart poured into
My healthiest way to cope
My way of moving forward
Was holding onto memories of my past
Feeling grateful for what I now have
Knowing with her this will last
Jul 3, 2018
Jul 3, 2018 at 11:04 AM UTC
Dark clouds surrounded me
Where the skies were once blue
My mind filled with ill thoughts
Telling me what to do
The river flowed down my face
Rushing to the ground
Silently crying
Not making a sound
My head was throbbing
Heart pounding so fast
Crying hours on end
Wondering how long this would last
At times I thought of ending it
But I knew that wasn't right
It wouldn't be fair to my children
Mommy not tucking them in at night
When little eyes looked up to me
I reassured them "mommy will be ok"
"Grownups get sad sometimes"
But did it have to be this way?
Something had to be done
This shouldn't persevere
I had to seek help
The answer was very clear
There is a stigma that goes on
For those that don't know much
When it comes to mental illness
They say medication is a clutch
It saved me from drowning
Was the life vest that helped me swim
Since then I've grown stronger
See, everyone gets to win
The dark clouds drifted away
Sunny skies now took its place
Laughter has filled the room
Im taking life on with grace
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 2, 2018 at 7:01 PM UTC
My life gets a little crazy
From one day to the next
I've learned to just ride the waves
For you never know what to expect
Everyday is a learning experience
As I am challenged with something new
That's all a part of parenthood
You just have to do the best that you can do
At times I think I can't handle it
I have thoughts of running away
Those thoughts only last a moment
For I am here for good to stay
I admit it is not always easy
You just have to take it day by day
Its a beautiful balance though
I wouldn't have it any other way
Here I have these beautiful children
Whose spirits are wild and free
It's my duty to be their rock
For they are both depending upon me
If you watch them closely
You'll notice they have a lot to teach
Their imaginations so lively
And they remind us the skies we can reach
They are also very vulnerable
When you've reached them at their core
Love and affection is what they crave
And they will always want more
To be loved by them is an honor
Just look at those smiles on their face
Enjoy those kisses and giggles
And being wrapped in their embrace
Children are truly a blessing
And though at times its a lot to take on
When you gaze at them in their slumber
That's when you realize the gift you have won
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 12:15 PM UTC
There I was thinking
I’d never feel this way again
The lost that I’ve felt
The dark places I’ve been
I came to an acceptance
That this is how my life would be
I found myself moving on
Became happy with just me
Then you came into my life
Everything about you was just right
You left an imprint on my heart
On that late November night
We each had our fears
We wondered if we were moving too fast
Be both fell in love
We said we hoped that it would last
For the first in a long time
I thought perhaps soulmates are real
The sweet words that you spoke
All the ways you’d make me feel
Your sweet lips against mine
Your warm breath in the air
You drove me wild
Running your hands through my hair
Things moved rather quickly
We spoke of tying the knot
But little did I know
That’s not what you sought
For one day you would leave
That was such a confusing day
“We can fix whatever’s wrong” I said
As I tried not to plead for you to stay
But your mind was made up
I was a little too late
To this day I question why
For that was never our fate
“Forever and always” you said
You wanted to be mine
I tried to give you the world
I gave you all my time
We were obsessed
Perhaps that’s the problem you see
Your feelings grew weaker
As you fell out of love with me
Now I’m left wondering
Was what you felt true
Or was it all an act
Simply because I was someone new
Was I just another warm body
To help you fill a void?
After everything we shared
Now I feel destroyed
May 27, 2018
May 27, 2018 at 9:40 AM UTC
Here we are
Riding the waves of something new
Emotions intense
We feel this way for few
I see in your eyes
You falling my way
Trusting me more and more
Each and every day
Here I was thinking
“Catch me if I fall”
But I was mistaken
That’s not the case at all
You’re like a delicate flower
That I must handle with care
Something we both didn’t realize
Given that these feelings are rare
Although I’ve mostly healed
I’ve been broken inside
Something you shouldn’t have to deal with
The aftermath of my past emotional ride
I HAVE given it my all
Feeling hurt was all I had to show
I’ve loved intensely
But my love had nowhere to go
You see the pain in my eyes
When I look away
You are also my teacher
You can show me the way
I’ve associated these warm fuzzy feelings
With an ache in my heart
An emotion I know too well
But with you I don’t know where to start
Diving head first
Learning to let go
With nothing to hold onto
Except the experience that I know
May 20, 2018
May 20, 2018 at 9:31 PM UTC
In and out I go
into the realms of this here new
so much to ponder so much learn
to say hello or adieu
a magnetic force you're presence pulling me in
yet I am unsure of what's inside
heedful of what lies in the unknown
I won't let my heart be my only guide
"this time" I say with my head held up high
"I wont accept anything less than I'm worth.
for I know what I deserve and what I can offer
so much I have learned in my rebirth"
my apologies if I come off harsh
for I am still holding up a shield
I know the risks that come with this
for I myself have just healed
I won't resist the temptation though
both my heart and my head are aligned
my intuition tells me to carry on
and I feel that we both will be kind
I have a great feeling of what lies ahead
but I allow for there to be doubt
truly only time will tell
whether or not this could ever work out
"time" I say over and over
as if it is embedded in my head
that seems to be the missing piece though
as both of us have said
time allows us to grow a friendship
time helps us to build up trust
time takes a lot of patience
and time also builds up a lot of lust
May 13, 2018
May 13, 2018 at 1:20 PM UTC
I tread cautiously
Unsure of what to expect
I’ll admit I’m afraid
Of what could happen next
Pondering whether or not
To let you inside
Afraid to go through
Another emotional ride
You might have realized
There are certain walls built up high
For whatever reasons you have
You seem willing to try
Your smile is warming
Your laugh is contagious
To possibly be vulnerable to you
Requires that I be courageous
The possibility of getting hurt
Is a risk I might just make
I admit you feel worth it though
If that’s the direction we take
May 11, 2018
May 11, 2018 at 1:17 PM UTC
Seeking meaningful friendships
Was all I was looking for
Meeting new people
Not expecting anything more
I am in a good place
feeling content on my own
putting myself first
I feel so much I’ve grown
Yet unexpectedly
you caught my eye
I tried looking the other way
that was a mission to try
So many thoughts
as my mind wanders on
people come and go
before you know it they’re gone
you ventured the world
trying to find your place
building homes in others hearts
going at your own pace
you’re in a great place you say
you feel right at home
but are these feelings temporary I ask myself from you being alone?
“It could be a phase” Are my thoughts
given the patterns that I see
perhaps another venture
testing the waters with me
I have no void to fill
needing no one by my side
and im a pretty open book
not very much to hide
If you still decide
That you want to come my way
Be honest and kind is all I ask
Whether or not you stay
Unbearable pain
Something I’ve experienced before
Time and earning trust
Are the keys to these doors
May 11, 2018
May 11, 2018 at 11:13 AM UTC